To wonder if it’s really sad to live in a house share when you’re approaching 40?

[peppermintlavender]

Am very nearly 38 and considering this. Is it just beyond embarrassing, or is it OK?

I still live at home at 3 months off 30.

Totally not how I ever saw my life going and I’ve spent several years absolutely mortified by it but I live in London, despite being on an ok wage (£21k), it absolutely doesn’t come close to covering rent and bills in N London. I’m looking to move further out which I absolutely don’t want to do but such is life.

But I’ve come to the conclusion that if anyone has a negative opinion on my living situation then they may pay my rent in a flat elsewhere 😏

Is it an ideal situation? Of course not but it’s the situation I’m in and that’s ok for now

I think it’s going to become much more common, especially in cities. I know a few people in their mid-30s who are sharers.

It really depends on the house. I wouldn’t want to go back to my student house with a mixed group of six people, but I’d be fine sharing with one or two people my own age.

I lived in a houseshare when I was 24, with dh who was 32, and 4 other people who ranged between 32 and 45.
It was fab, rents were cheap, no one had kids, we went to the pub lots and we all had a sport in common, which was big in the area (think skiing in the alps) so we played together too!

Shallow Grave

I don’t think it’s sad but I wouldn’t want to flat share again personally.

I think some are responding to the multiple people, I was responding to the renting bit! For me there is a benefit to buying on the long term. Even if it means saving up.

They are essentially house sharing with their DP, and they don’t even get a whole bed or room to themselves

Apparently the average age for roommates is increasing.

www.telegraph.co.uk/goodlife/living/living-in-a-flatshare-in-your-50s/

"And, according to property listing site SpareRoom, over the last 5 years the number of people living in flatshares between the ages of 55 and 64 has risen by 343 per cent. Additionally, the over 65s have seen a rise of over 600 per cent.

For a lot of people, they have this idea that flat sharing is like something out of Friends. It's not

Almost one in ten of flatsharers who use the website are now over 45 years old, bringing the average user age of the site to nearly 29 years old."

A relative of mine is now of retirement age and housesharing entirely by choice (house owned outright) with a friend of hers as they both like the company. I'm substantially younger (late 20s) and quite enjoy housesharing, though there's still an element of economic necessity as I'm in London. It's no different to taking in a lodger really, except there's no power imbalance.

It's only sad if it's your only option and something you dislike but can't escape.

I think an en suite room would be a compromise. Even better if you can install your own mini fridge and if your LL would let you use one of those two ring hobs (about £20 from wilkos) and a kettle. You could be pretty much self contained.

It depends... I’m only 23 but shudder at the thought of living with students again ( the horror of that kitchen) or even the gross house my friend shares with young professionals. But a house share in a nice house with housemates 25+ I would be okay with if single.

Could make some fab friends.

@FluffyWuffy100
So true! And the amount of people who are sharing with a dp they don’t even like but feel too stuck to leave

I'm surprised more older people don't house share, especially the elderly. People rattle around in big houses, lonely and poor, sharing with friends seems a good solution to me. That's my plan when I'm older anyway.

No way its fine! I would do it if i wasnt married its expensive living on your own! And sometimes its nice to know someone else is around, even if youre not particularly friendly with them, and if you are, thats even better

It'll be fine.

Just pick people with similar values as far as bedtimes are concerned, and good bathroom habits.

I've moved back with my DPs parents at 38. Got loads more money to spend now. So go for it who cares!

Absolutely fine. Very sensible.

If I were in your position I would look to lodge - even cheaper, and potentially less studenty/noisy, especially if it's just you lodging in the home of, say, an older couple.

No way would I spend ££££ on private renting in your shoes. It's simply not a good use of resources.

Lodge or share and build up your funds as much as possible. Then reconsider.

If I was single and no kids I would do it if it meant I could live in the area I wanted.

Nothing wrong with a house share at any age. I would far rather a house share or be a lodger in someone else's house than move in with my parents!

Just be selective about who you move in with

I was a lodger in a single lady's house when I was in my 20s; it was just a small 2 bed house but my landlady worked away a lot so midweek I often had the house to myself. Loved it!

Not sad at all. I live with my DM and I am in my 40's. We are both single so why both struggle with money and rattle around on our own in two separate houses? We both have adequate of personal space (think own sitting rooms, bathrooms etc). In addition it means DD can go to a lovely school and there is no way I could afford to live here on my own. I actually quite like the company but I guess there would be those who judge me for living with a parent at my age but hey, let them judge.

I agree with the suggestion above about lodging, which may suit you much better. You have fewer rights, though, but on the other hand, the set-up may suit you much better and it could be cheaper.

The only thing that's sad is a) people who judge others for living in situations different to their own and b) adhering to society's expectations when they don't suit you or the life you want to live.

Why would it be embarrassing to live somewhere you can afford?

It might not be ideal for you but if it gives you a better quality of life it’s sounds like the best option atm. It doesn’t have to be for ever . Lots of people are living at home into their thirties , it’s only a recent phenomenon that saw teenagers and those in their early twenties moving into their own properties as soon as could.

Absolutely fine. Very sensible.

If I were in your position I would look to lodge - even cheaper, and potentially less studenty/noisy, especially if it's just you lodging in the home of, say, an older couple.

No way would I spend ££££ on private renting in your shoes. It's simply not a good use of resources.

Lodge or share and build up your funds as much as possible. Then reconsider.

If you're not keen on being sociable with others and feel you're a bit old for some house shares, you might want to look for a lodger arrangement where you landlord rents out a room or two in a house they own.

Tends to be a bit more civilized and less student-like than other house shares or bedsits. People taking lodgers are often keen on someone a bit older