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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to announce baby's name before it's born?

102 replies

olivertwistwantsmore · 27/02/2018 14:34

Friend is pg. She's 22 weeks. Has just had her anomaly scan. She has posted a scan pic with her baby's name on FB saying 'welcome to the world, xxxxx'

Isn't it odd to name your dc before you even see them? What if the baby doesn't suit her name?? We had a name picked out for dd but then she didn't suit it at all and we changed our minds when we saw her.

And where's the element of surprise?! Friend has had a gender scan and now everyone knows the baby's name. Is this a thing? Seems odd to me...

OP posts:

Sarahh2014 · 27/02/2018 15:13

I did the opposite.Didnt want opinions on the name and knew it was v unlikely anyone would comment once baby was here.I chose a nice name imo just wanted to keep it between me and dh but everyone different.I know 2 people at the moment who have announced their unborn babies names

Thurlow · 27/02/2018 15:13

I always found our DC suited their name the moment they were born because we had named them both long before they were born. If you're certain that your baby will be called Fred, then he's going to look like a Fred. If you're torn between Fred and Bob, then you will probably feel that he suits one name more than the other.

We named any future DD years before we had even decided to TTC, and named DS when I was about 7 months pregnant. We weren't going to change our minds so they were always going to "suit" those names.

Nothing wrong with referring them to their names before they are born. Personally I find it incredibly weird that people can have a baby more than an hour or two old that doesn't have a name - I can't get my head around living full time with a 4 week old baby who still doesn't have a name. But you know, that's me. Not a rule or anything.

TinyTear · 27/02/2018 15:14

What if the baby doesn't suit her name

It's a name, it's a baby... all names will suit all babies...

MirriVan · 27/02/2018 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hersetta427 · 27/02/2018 15:17

Waiting to see if a name suits a baby is bollocks - they look like a baby. Squashed, red and angry looking is there a name that means that?

Personally i wouldn't dream of announcing the name before they were here - people are much more likely to tell you its horrible in the hope you'll change your mind. When the baby is already here its a done deal and they just nod and put on a fake smile and say 'lovely'.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/02/2018 15:17

Squashed, red and angry - rose??

Whitney168 · 27/02/2018 15:18

Even as someone who has little interest in talking to mothers about babies, I've still managed to have conversations with three people over my life who were incorrectly told the sex of their babies and ended up with the opposite to what they were expecting.

On each occasion I pondered how psychologically difficult this is for the parents - do they feel as if they have the wrong baby, I wonder? I can only think naming it must make that even harder.

golondrina · 27/02/2018 15:19

I find it far stranger when people take days or even weeks to choose a name once the baby's born, like nine months wasn't enough?
I wouldn't (and didn't) mention the name before the baby was born to avoid people being rude about it but had decided both times reasonably definitely by about halfway through (more so with DS as there was more choice for us for a girl and 2 languages to think about).

Evelynismycatsformerspyname · 27/02/2018 15:19

Holly you can't tell from birth weight whether a child will grow up to be graceful or not - plenty of low birth weight babies end up as short, overweight adults. Equally grace is an internal quality not just a physical one.

Daisy says tough but pretty, hardy and cheerful to me - are you saying it's only for babies who actually look like daisies - white blond women with whip thin green bodies and bright yellow faces?

tiggytape · 27/02/2018 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

windchimesabotage · 27/02/2018 15:22

I think it is odd to care about something like this.

I know my friend has done this on facebook and its because she previously lost some pregnancies so is very excited about this one. Also I think theres an element of her wanting to make sure that even if she loses this one that everyone has known his name and he did exist.

I think thats understandable to be honest!!

I made the mistake of sharing the name of my first before he was born however and it didnt go well!! It wasnt an announcement as such but just a reply to someone asking did we have a name?

When the baby isnt actually born yet some people can see this as an opportunity to tell you how shit or silly they think the name you have chosen is. Which they certainly did in my case!!

MirriVan · 27/02/2018 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Evelynismycatsformerspyname · 27/02/2018 15:24

Sorry Mirri I'm sure little Baldy McRedface will be eternally grateful for having a name she suited at 30 minutes old, and I promise never to suggest the name on the baby names board incase there should be 29 others in her class when the idea gets out!

Ps. Don't call her by the name until you're totally sure she's born bald, she may need to be renamed Unexpectedly-Hairy McRedface!

MirriVan · 27/02/2018 15:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aprilmightmemynewname · 27/02/2018 15:28

When I was pregnant with one of mine, dd name picked and used casually in reference to bump etc - looked a bloody fool when a ds arrived!! After that picked a name of each just in case but def no big announcements until I had checked the relevant parts /non parts at birth!

PasDeDeux · 27/02/2018 15:31

I dont think its a big deal.

Parrothead · 27/02/2018 15:32

*There's no such thing as a baby's name 'suiting' them

I dont know about that ... yes you Grace, at 12lb ... or you Daisy with a shock of jet black hair!*

Are you actually suggesting a chubby baby lacks sufficient grace to be given that name? I can’t even guess at why you think dark hair doesn’t go with the name Daisy. What a nasty post.

Ansumpasty · 27/02/2018 15:33

The welcome to the world comment is a little odd but I don't think naming is! I named both of mine before they were born and agree with a pp that a child grows into the name

anxious2017 · 27/02/2018 15:33

I teach a Daisy who is African American. Do you think you can't be a Daisy if you have black skin as well as black hair?

FleetwoodSmack · 27/02/2018 15:34

Look, it's either a boy or a girl -- hardly in the territory of OMG!!! And the vast majority of people appear to call their offspring one of about 20 names, so 'Welcome to the world baby OLIVER!!!' is hardly the scoop of the century.

You make it sound as if she's leaked her own press release of highly classified information...? Surely to God her friends' lives are not so entirely without incident and variety that she's depriving them of a Major Source of Surprise and Suspense?

Louiselouie0890 · 27/02/2018 15:43

Why are you arsed?

Alconleigh · 27/02/2018 15:50

The name thing wouldn't surprise me. "Welcome to the world" about a foetus, only halfway through the pregnancy, would however. But then I won't buy presents for babies until they are safely delivered, etc. Up to them really though, obviously.

MummyCuddlesSolveEverything · 27/02/2018 15:52

We didn't find out if we were having a boy or a girl so couldn't name them, but had a name for both picked out. We didn't tell anyone because didn't want anyone else's opinions ruining it for us, we weren't worried they wouldn't suit them though.

I know someone who did this she posted relentlessly on Facebook....fred is moving lots to day, can't wait to meet fred, fred is giving me heart burn but it will be worth it to see fred. I was so bored of reading about fred I hid her post. Naming the baby is not unreasonable, but constantly going on and on about them by name on social media is a bit much.

LeSquigh · 27/02/2018 15:53

I named both of my children by 20 weeks and referred to them by their names when speaking to others. Have never thought it was weird!

MummyCuddlesSolveEverything · 27/02/2018 15:54

The welcome to the world bit is a bit a bit strange....is that what you say when they are born?!

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