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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to announce baby's name before it's born?

102 replies

olivertwistwantsmore · 27/02/2018 14:34

Friend is pg. She's 22 weeks. Has just had her anomaly scan. She has posted a scan pic with her baby's name on FB saying 'welcome to the world, xxxxx'

Isn't it odd to name your dc before you even see them? What if the baby doesn't suit her name?? We had a name picked out for dd but then she didn't suit it at all and we changed our minds when we saw her.

And where's the element of surprise?! Friend has had a gender scan and now everyone knows the baby's name. Is this a thing? Seems odd to me...

OP posts:

RadioGaGoo · 27/02/2018 14:46

So what if she's been documenting it OP? You don't have to read it! Bit of a biting thing to say.

ISeeTheLight · 27/02/2018 14:46

I think it's odd. But I also have too many friends with losses late into their pregnancies sadly so I'd never announce anything like that on Facebook before they're even born.

BigYupFromMe · 27/02/2018 14:47

We decided names a long time before they were born (twins).

I do find the welcome to the world bit weird though.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/02/2018 14:49

I don't think it's odd really. Once someone knows what they're having I guess they will refer to their bump as the baby's name.

No biggie really.

Blondephantom · 27/02/2018 14:50

With my last child, I found out that I was having a girl at thirteen weeks. We had decided on names before we were having a baby. It was a very difficult pregnancy and as such it helped to refer to my little one by her name. She is named after a relative and there is no way we would have changed it due to what she looked like.

Personally I think that babies change so much between birth and adulthood that choosing a name because they look like it is a bit silly. Then again, not my child - none of my business!

SleepingStandingUp · 27/02/2018 14:51

I have friends who not only announced it in fb, referred to it constantly by name but also decorated things with the name on so there was noooo going back. I did think it was odd but then again its their child.

Re suprise well it's only ever a surprise until you hear it, so it was a surprise, then they told people and now it's not.

We told people probable names bit we didn't know the gender. After he was born we agreed on the name even though we didn't see him for 3 hours.

Even if a name suits a new born, you don't know what they'll look like as they get older.
Ds was dark, tiny and thin. Now he's blonde, fairly solid and tall.

FreudianSlurp · 27/02/2018 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 27/02/2018 14:52

I agree with pp, it's staking a claim on their preferred name. I'm more startled by the "welcome to the world" part but maybe that's what people do now.

alpineibex · 27/02/2018 14:55

I told family the name before the birth, but didn't announce it.

XJerseyGirlX · 27/02/2018 14:56

I picked my little girls name 6 years before she was born. Always wanted to name my first born after a name I had heard when I was on holiday. she suits it too :-)

Bumbumtaloo · 27/02/2018 14:56

Both of my DD’s were named before my 20wk scan as in xx name for a girl and xx name for a boy. If people asked if we had a name we’d just say yes and depending on who it was ie close family or friends we told them anyone else and social media we kept it to ourselves.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 27/02/2018 14:56

I think it's odd. But I also have too many friends with losses late into their pregnancies sadly so I'd never announce anything like that on Facebook before they're even born

I don’t fully understand this argument (which I always see on here). My cousin sadly lost a little girl at 28 weeks and we all refer to her by her name. It’s not a secret and the name doesn’t make it any sadder, in my cousin’s case.

I appreciate everyone is different though, I just don’t see this argument^ as a reason to say nobody^ should announce the name of their baby before it’s born.

Alisvolatpropiis · 27/02/2018 14:56

I think it’s weird.

My partners sister has done similar recently and I was a bit .

It’s the “welcome to the world” but more than anything else

NotASingleFuckToGive · 27/02/2018 14:59

Meh, I couldn't find enough energy to care about other people's babies.
At least they aren't precious about the significance of their pregnancy to random people, unlike a couple I know who made a FB post (tagging about 100 people) about the fact they'd found out the sex, but weren't going to tell anyone so we'd all have to "keep guessing...no clues!" and it would "give us all something to look forward to when BabyNoGender was born". I didn't have the heart to say that unless it's going to be a boy called Jesus, and you've never shagged your DH, nobody outside of family is that bothered.
But I'm a miserable fucker so

Thistlebelle · 27/02/2018 15:00

Her baby her choice.

We picked our names before the babies were born but didn’t tell anyone.

I do know people who announced the name to the world and then changed their mind a week after the baby was born.

Various family members had had gifts made up with the “old” name so I imagine they were rather miffed but otherwise no harms been done.

thecatsthecats · 27/02/2018 15:02

And it is true that babies' names suit them or don't, thecats.

Ooooooh, so it is true. Not just something you think then?

Babies look nothing like adults. They look more like another baby than an adult. Yes, as creatures subject to whims and imagination, we might think that a name is more or less good for a baby - or when we see the baby we might actually not like the name as much - but it doesn't mean there is any literal effect of a name not suiting the baby.

Closetlibrarian · 27/02/2018 15:03

I think it's odd. But like others I find making any sort of pregnancy announcement on FB/ posting scan pictures, etc odd.

But I generally 'don't do' the oversharing thing on FB and didn't name either of my DC until they'd arrived safe and sound and been around for a few days.

Each to their own though. I just scroll past the oversharing stuff that I don't like on FB.

BulletWithABun · 27/02/2018 15:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PerfectlyPosed · 27/02/2018 15:04

People that do this really annoy me; not sure why.

viques · 27/02/2018 15:04

Technically of course it is not the baby's name - not until the baby is born and registered. They could say welcome to the world Alphabet Soup then decide when the baby is born that it looks more like a Mary, so just because they have called it Alphabet Soup for months does not mean that they will have to stick with it. I would try to find something else more interesting to focus on.

NotASingleFuckToGive · 27/02/2018 15:05

"Welcome to the world" before the baby is even born is really strange.
It's still better than the most wanky and pretentious new baby greeting ever though..."Welcome earthside"

NameChangeCuddleBums · 27/02/2018 15:07

We knew we were having a girl from 12 weeks from the harmony test. Using her name was natural. Don’t have Facebook so I find that part weird but each to their own.

DaisyLand · 27/02/2018 15:08

Currently 34w pregnant, name chosen at 25w and told family and friends, didnt announce it on fb, in fact according to my fb feed i'm not even pregnant as havent announced it.

Im not sure about whether it'd suit him, i think it's more the way the parents feel rather whether a name suits a person, according to my name how should i behave? i hope crazy cuz that's the way i behave :)

And no i dont own the name as such, in fact i'd be more than happy for anyone to use it, it's a foreign name so doubt anyone in the uk would use it and my close friends from my hometown would be more than welcome to use it (in fact i'm using a really similar name to my best friends son's name)

I'm from spain and there names are announced as soon as it's chosen, so at the end each culture is different or each person is different, sure being pregnant and having a healthy baby is surprise enough for most of us.

sallyandherarmy · 27/02/2018 15:08

Obviously she is not the only woman to ever be pregnant (what a strange thing for you to say) BUT she IS pregnant, not every other woman.

You sound really mean, spiteful, and very jealous. Are you bored today?

Her pregnancy, her baby - none of your business.

Evelynismycatsformerspyname · 27/02/2018 15:10

Babys never suit their names specifically, they just look like squidgy babies. Babies don't look anything like they will as ten year olds or 33 year olds. The idea one squidgy baby suits being called Persephone and not Ivy as her parents planned until they saw her, and another round red new born "looks like" a Maverick and not a James after all is absolute random nonsense.

A baby looks like a baby, or like Winston Churchill... Unless you're going to name your child Squidgy or Cutey or Redface or Baldy or Wrinkles you can't give a newborn a name they "look like".

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