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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your top toddler potty training tips please?

39 replies

Anxiousally · 27/02/2018 13:17

DS is 19 months and DD is due in May.
I dread having 2 sets of nappies to change so would like to get on with potty training DS.
He will tell me sometimes if he has had a poo he just says poopoo but it's always after he has done it. Also I have put him down for a nap twice and checked on him to find he has taken off his bottoms and nappy and had a wee on his bed. When we take his nappy off he always tries to force a wee out and has done it in the potty once which we have lots of praise for but he doesn't seem to get that s what we want him to do all the time.

Aibu to ask for your potty training tips?
Does he sound ready?
I'm a little anxious as a lot of toddlers we know around his age are well on their way.

OP posts:
Twistinthenightaway · 27/02/2018 13:23

I'd say the best thing you can do is wait - he doesn't sound at all ready. 19 months is very young and it's likely potty training will be a long and arduous process at this age. How easy do you think it's going to be managing a baby and a child that's having accidents/ needs to get to the toilet in under 2 minutes. Sounds ridiculously stressful!

I waited to 2.5 and potty trained in under 3 days - no accidents since. At this point she was using the potty fairly regularly, showed a huge interest in doing so and could remove her own clothes and tell me when she needed to go. Can he do anything of those things? Wait till they're properly ready.

Doublechocolatetiffin · 27/02/2018 13:23

I used the Oh Crap Potty Training book and it was really successful for me. I’d recommend reading it.

Lalalaleah · 27/02/2018 13:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lalalaleah · 27/02/2018 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moregilmoregirls · 27/02/2018 13:31

Sorry I too would say wait, boys in particular seem to take a little longer and it's really not worth the stress, I had two in nappies but once my 3 yr old DS decided he was ready he was potty trained in a matter of days.

I've had friends who pottyvtrained early only to have to go back to nappies.

BigYupFromMe · 27/02/2018 13:31

Mine were ready, between 2.5-3, done in one day, very few accidents after.

minipie · 27/02/2018 13:33

No he doesn't sound ready

Being ready at this age is quite rare so if you know loads who are well on their way, I suspect there may be a bit of exaggeration or different definition going on from their parents... (Eg I had a friend who said her son was "poo trained" at this age, what that really meant was she had learned to put him on the loo after every meal as he always pooed after meals... he wasn't telling her he needed a poo, which is my definition of trained! )

jellycat1 · 27/02/2018 13:34

Nooooo! Wait. I got DS1 really excited about his new pants and then waited til he was really asking to have them. A month shy of 3. Took 3 days during which we only had 2 accidents and he went from nappies to totally dry - day and night. Planning same with DS2.

windchimesabotage · 27/02/2018 13:37

I also think you should probably wait! Its a stressful time anyway for him with a sibling arriving. Many already potty trained children will regress a bit from the stress of a new arrival so I think maybe it could be very hard to try and potty train just before a new baby comes.

Ive been trying to potty train my almost three year old son but have had to pull back a bit because he was finding it too stressful. It really is best to wait until they are certainly ready. My son was doing very well then I pushed a bit too far with completely leaving his nappy off before he was ready and now weve gone back to square one really. So im leaving it completely again for a bit.

IpreferFrieda · 27/02/2018 13:41

It’s tricky because each child is so different.

So ds1 was 2, ds2 was nearly 3, ds3 2.5, dd4/5 around 2.8.

My best advice s don’t feel pressured by other parents kids and don’t start too early. Always start in the spring/summer too.

BigusBumus · 27/02/2018 13:43

My son was nearer 3.5 before he was any where near ready and it took weeks! However his little brother was more like 22 months and took his own nappy off and never wore one again, did it all himself (God love him).

Littledrummergirl · 27/02/2018 13:47

I let my dc run around naked in the summer and kept a bucket of disinfectant ready to clean up the mess.
Lots of praise when they used the potty.

Original poster
Anxiousally · 27/02/2018 13:52

Oh wow. I'm definitely prepared to wait I wouldn't want to add more stress to the situation by doing it all too early! Thankyou all for the advice! I already feel terribly guilty about the new arrival and the stress its probably going to cause him so will wait and think about starting again once he's 2 and were settled with new baby!

OP posts:
IpreferFrieda · 27/02/2018 13:55

Ah op don’t feel guilty.

My older 2 lads are 16 months apart and at 27/28 have an incredibly close and warm relationship despite being nothing alike.

You will be fine Grin

jellycat1 · 27/02/2018 13:57

Ah op don't worry. I felt guilty too. 17 months between my two. They're so close it's lovely. Except when they gang up on me!

sausagerole · 27/02/2018 13:59

Waiting sounds like a good idea, especially with baby on the way he'll have enough new challenges to cope with (as will you!) and he might regress a bit anyway which would be even more stressful!

I found potty-training with DD and absolute breeze, because she was ready. Leaving the (clean) potty around the house, letting her sit on it, chat about 'big girl toilet' all before we went anywhere near using it meant she did it out of interest and was therefore really motivated. We didn't try and do it all immediately either, we concentrated on home at first (and nappies when out and about), then home and nursery, then finally using pants at playgroup and out and about. She was able to switch really easily between nappies and pants, though I'm not sure how typical that is!

Original poster
Anxiousally · 27/02/2018 14:03

I honestly get really emotional with how guilty I feel about having a new baby I think it's definitely a lot to do with pregnancy hormones but I feel like we have cheated him out of being the only child for a little longer I know it's silly! But so looking forward to them having a lovely bond!
Yes were going to wait, 2 sets of nappies does sound a lot less stressful after this thread haha!

OP posts:
CAAKE · 27/02/2018 14:04

Wait until he's ready. I can't think of anything worse than going out and about with a newborn and coping with a toddler having constant accidents - because that's what will happen if he's not quite ready to train.

Much easier to change 2 sets of nappies IMO.

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 27/02/2018 14:08

I have 20 months between my two, I understand your guilt. What I hadn’t bargained for is how much no1 would adore no2 and what fun they would have even from the very begninning. Try not to feel guilty.

No1 was potty trained at 22months. I wholly subscribe to keeping them naked from the waste down when indoors for a few days and then when you do go out and about DO NOT PUT PANTS ON. Just trousers. Pants, knickers feel too much liek nappies and can be confusing. This method took 5 days and potty training was complete.

BakedBeans47 · 27/02/2018 14:10

Honestly I would leave it. 2 in nappies as not as bad as you might think and way better than cleaning up uncontained piss and shit with a newborn.

My eldest boy trained at Just before he turned 3 and the youngest had just turned 3.

BakedBeans47 · 27/02/2018 14:11

I also would put them when the time comes in pants rather than going naked on the bottom half - they need to understand the sensation of peeing/pooing in pants IMO

AnnaT45 · 27/02/2018 14:19

Another one saying wait! It's so much easier changing a nappy then having to find a loo when you're out in immediately. Plus not ideal but if you're sorting baby the toddler can go in their happy and buy you time.

I had a 19 month old age gap. Pottery trained my eldest when she was about 2.10 months. Not a brag in the slightest but she took to it straight away only having a couple of accidents if she got overexcited. I think waiting till they're ready is key to a quick success!

BikeRunSki · 27/02/2018 14:25

As everyone else had said, wait till he’s 2 and a half. Try again. If he doesn’t get it in 3 days, stop, wait a month and try again. Best done in the summer, where he can have a bare bum at home, and you only need carry round shorts and crocs when out.

MaMisled · 27/02/2018 14:26

I never believed in potty training. When they're ready, they'll stop wanting to dirty and wet their nappies and will be receptive to being shown how to use the potty or toilet. Simple as that.

happymumof4crazykids · 27/02/2018 14:31

Wait! It's not a race and your child will do it when he's ready. If you force the issue it will take longer and be stressful for you both. I had to potty train my eldest 3 for playgroup. They had to be out of nappies to go at 2years 3months. It was mega stressful with loads of accidents, tears and mess. My youngest didn't go to the same playgroup. It had closed by the time she was due to go. I didn't push using the potty or toilet as she has some constipation issues so didn't want to make it worse. We talked about being a big girl, bought knickers and a new potty but she wasn't interested at all. She has basically potty trained overnight. No stress only 1 accident and she's nearly 3! Far later than any of my others but she asked to use to the potty one day and we haven't looked back.

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