To wonder if there is just no helping DS?

[mustnotlooktohave]

DS is an adult with autism and ADHD and various mental health issues going hand in hand with them.

He appears to now be suffering from a sort of psychosis, where he is unable to process basic information, recognise familiar items or respond appropriately to simple questions (he will scream and then if you say "are you in pain?" he says "my name is (DS.)") He also smears faeces and urinates around the house.

But other times he is lucid - still eccentric but seems perfectly 'normal.'

He has now lost his driving licence on medical grounds and so he can't work.

So what is he supposed to do - he won't claim benefits, he is a danger to himself, yet no one will intervene?

With mental health issues I thought the state will intervene if someine is a danger to themselves or others. It sounds as though your son is both.

He needs help. During the next crisis hou need to call 999 and be very, very clear that you are afraid for both him and yourself and they must take him to hospital. Forgive me for saying this but you sound like you're minimising a bit when you're speaking about him to the professionals. It doesn't stop there if he says he's fine, what you say is important too.

Does he have a social worker? If not ring adult social care and demand they do an assessment to determine his status as a vulnerable adult. Yes this may piss him off - if it does and he gets aggressive then phone 999.

Your situation is very similar (in some ways) to my mum's. She's just started counselling with the domestic abuse service as she is, in effect, being abused by my adult brother (drug abuse and massive mh issues). That's something else you might consider, to get support for yourself.

Has he been assessed by Social Services under the Care Act 2014? If not ask for it ASAP.

OP that's why I suggested going to the GP for yourself. If your DS is just going to claim he is fine when in front of the professionals, then I think you seeing your GP about how much pressure it's putting on you may start the ball rolling in some way.

Write it all down, the smearing, the suicidal talk, everything, and then see the GP for you. Get support for you.

Sorry you and your son are going through this. I haven't read the whole thread but just wanted to comment on a poster saying that you should challenge him when he is in crisis. You are absolutely doing the right thing by not challenging him. He is in crisis and needs de-escalating not the opposite. Could you see the GP and ask what the best way of getting him emergency treatment when he is in crisis is? It would be better obviously to get him help before this but I know that often it takes being admitted as an inpatient to get the right help for mental health difficulties.

It does seem he can control his behaviour to a certain extent....the police, dr etc. Could it be he's being a bit manipulative and wanting your attention op? Is there anyone else who can help? Next time he has a poo smearing episode or aggressive outburst is the time to call out police, dr, crisis team and ambulance.