To want my son to join the sea cadets.

[youngnomore]

Sorry for posting on here .
Has anyone’s dc joined the sea cadets ? If so what was their experience? My ds has absolutely no confidence or focus. He’s very kind hearted and loved by all his friends but just doesn’t seem to be bothered about anything atm apart from video games. So wanted to give him a new experience which will benefit him in some way for the future.
TIA

Thank you Backforgood. I really did think scouts was more for very young children maybe up to about 16. So didn’t want him to be a late starter iyswim. Ds is 13. So looks like plenty of time still.
Thank you for the link.

I was an air cadet & my sister an army cadet. We both agreed that good officers & civilian instructors made a good unit & good cadet NCOs developed in that environment.
I ended up in a disciplined, hierarchical job & was in the Territorial Army.
Cadet units foster confidence & discipline. They also offer kids opportunities to do things that they may not otherwise be able to access.
Kids in cadet units often display better behaviour, self confidence & self discipline than those who are not. This can help make them better citizens. Keywords here are "often" & "can", but in general cadet forces are a good thing.
Look for a well attended unit where the cadets themselves recommend it. Go along & have a look, meet the officers & cadet NCOs, get a feel for the place. It's not hard to tell a good unit from a lacklustre one.
In the case of the army cadets, the detachments are "badged" to a particular regiment or Corps & these parent units often do a lot for the cadets who share their capbadge.

My son has been going to a lads and girls club in our town its basically a youth club but very well organised he goes a coyple of evenings a week I give him a few pounds and he buys his tea there , they do all sorts of sporting activities and have a climbing wall but they do art and are starting a you tube channel too, I have been very impressed is there anything like that He could join?

My niece does sea cadets, and its been the making of her. She learned to follow orders, yes, but also to lead and be the one giving the orders as she progressed. And because those giving the orders have been through all the ranks and know what it feels like, they tend to use their power wisely and don't bully. Its a great organisation - you get to be a higher rank through merit, and that's a great life lesson for kids to learn.

We have a sea cadets club next to where we live. Like you OP, I had ambitions for my DS to join (when he was about 12). He was not interested in the least, so I didn't push it at all. But I knew the local kids involved and it was a lovely bunch. For us, it was really a case of our DS not being interested in anything to do with water, i.e. rowing, swimming, sailing. And that didn't change. He's 16 now.
Why don't you give it a chance? You'll know very quickly whether or not it's for your DS. You can only try. It may be the best thing for him.

My DS was a member of the Sea Cadets for many years and I was also involved as a civilian instructor. There is a lot of discipline, no bad thing I think, and regular attendance is required, they are also expected to partake in Remembrance services. It is a big commitment and it best suits confident sporty boys and girls who don’t mind getting wet/ muddy. The opportunities are amazing sailing tall ships in the UK and Europe , getting a power boat licence, diving, shooting and racing yachts as well as cooking, first aid and many more activities. There is a lot of class work and there is a syllabus to follow. Any bullying would be clamped down on hard in my experience.

Our son does sea scouts and loves it. No bullying at all and amazing options for adventure. Not overly military either. Not sure how it compares with sea cadets. He will aquire skills and do things that schools havnt taught in ages.

Don't know anything about Sea Cadets but DS17 is in Army Cadets and has worked his way up to Sergeant, is doing his Duke of Edinburgh award, and a team leading BTEC through that. It has changed him from a shy, bullied and angry boy into a confident, engaging young man who has won lots of awards and is a great leader. He is the platoon commanding officer and has had some great experiences - visiting the war graves in Ypres, meeting Prince Philip, leading the parade for the Lord Lieutenant of the county - which he wouldn't have otherwise had the opportunity to do. It has made such a difference to him.

Can't speak for the Sea Cadets personally, but have known many who have joined and had a very positive experience from them.
What I can speak for is the Air Cadets (known as ATC when I joined years ago). Set me up well for life. Nephew now doing the same.

Friendships made, teamwork learnt, lifeskills picked up and many great experiences. I flew with Air Cadets (not just as passenger - actually had a very well supervised go at piloting), shooting, ironing and discipline all learnt (and in a way that I wanted to do it!!). I also went on camps to other areas (mostly military establishments) where there were many activities (cheaply) provided.

Though I never went on to a full military career (not many do), a fair few did. Those that didn't all seem to look back fondly on these times. I don't live in the same area now, but when I do go home I occasionally bump into cadet "friends" and all seem to have done OK.

A couple of people in the same squadron as me got their glider's licence whilst in the cadets - one of which is now a commercial pilot - he claims he would not have achieved this if he hadn't first got his light license through the cadets first.

Yes, there's a bit of marching, parades and charity work. It can also be a bit cliquey and daunting at first. But once settled it can be a great experience and provide a good life.foundation.

As mentioned, my direct experience is of Air Cadets, not Sea Cadets but I imagine the experience is very similar. Many private schools round our area encourage membership so there could be something positive in it.

I was an army cadet and loved it. You can’t beat discipline and some character building. You have to respect your ranks and you make good friends in the process!

My ds joined Scouts aged six and is now?acYoung Leader. Great fun, nights away camping and a week at summer camp. His group are relaxed and no pressure to attend everything so do look at a few groups first.

When he’s 14 he could do his Bronze Duke of Edinburgh,which instills commitment and organisation.

I really think Scouts gave my son confidence and a want to try new things.

All very helpful thank you. Ds does go swimming and really enjoys it. Also went to a camping trip with his school last year and absolutely loved it. But now I’m just not seeing any motivation from his end at all. I know he’s a teen and moodiness and laziness comes with the territory but looking at him you would think he’s a Middle aged man whose given up. I feel so bad for him as I feel like he’s missing out on so much. When I ask him what he would prefer sea Scouts, Cadets or something else. He gives me the big shoulder shrug 🤷‍♂️

My daughter is 15 and in the Air cadets, she has been since she was 12. She absolutely loves it. She used to be very shy but is confident to speak to all age groups of people now and in front of an audience. They are more than just a group of friends because they have a lot of shared experiences that nobody else her age group really has. She irons all her own clothes all thanks to them, can shine shoes until you can see your face in them, always has a up to date first aid training, they have put her through a lot of flying lessons, glider lessons, has her gun license. Shes always away to some camp or another learning new things and trying different activities. I highly recommend kids joining the cadets

@youngnomore:
Though I painted a picture of me thoroughly enjoying the experience (which I did) by my own accord; in hindsight, now that I look back, I think I was similar to your DS - without knowing it at the time I feel that I was "encouraged" that way.

A gentle prod probably wouldn't do him any harm if he cannot decide for himself.

I'd be wary of forcing him into something he hasn't chosen. Dh was forced into Cadets by his parents and, while he enjoyed some aspects, it made him resentful of his parents. I'm not sure their relationship ever really recovered, particularly as younger siblings didn't have to go.

Could he have a taster session to see whether he likes it?

WE have police cadets here from the age of 13- DS is very keen to join. Sea Scouts is very popular and may have a waiting list (there aren’t many units in comparison to normal Scouts) but if you find a Sea Scout unit they are usually very good.

I was a Sea Cadet Instructor for years after leaving the Royal Naval Reserve, and it varies from unit to unit - not hard to spot on a visit. In a good unit, bullying will very much be clamped down on and the whole atmosphere of the unit will reflect that. I think that I can't have been that bad an instructor and mentor given the number of former cadets who are still in touch with me. So many of them look back in affection at the fun and opportunities that they got.

I really don’t want to force him but will make an appointment for both sea scouts and cadets just so he can see for himself what it’s all about. I also have a feeling he’s a little worried about being in a new environment. He does have a hard time fitting in.

My very shy and socially awkward sister went and loved it. Not to much military discipline and lots of great experiences.

Eleanor- was she happy to go or your parents have to nudge her?

I had a friend at high school who did sea cadets, she really enjoyed it although she was definitely in the minority as a girl it didn’t bother her

Last year I volunteered in a school in a deprived area and several of the girls I met were really into army cadets. It gave them skills and opportunities they wouldn’t have had otherwise and some of them wanted to go into the army as a job but not all of them

Scouts is a great option as well. Scouts is 10 and a half to 14, but explorer scouts are 14+ I’m a Guide leader but enjoy doing jamborees with scouts.

Another thing to take into account is the cost - I was shocked at the cost of the weekends away with scouts compared to cadets - a weekend with the scouts cost the same as a 10 day summer camp with the cadets.

And cadets get the uniform given to them.....

Its not too expensive either. A couple of pound a session, residential courses for a weekend are about £20 basically covering feeding him and uniform is given to them for free. This isn't means tested we both work ft and get no benefits or anything

Hadn't read pp properly sorry for repeating exactly what they said.

My daughter was in the army cadets. It was the making of her. Highly recommended but as you say may not be for every child. Why not ask if he can have a trial.