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AIBU?

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DH embarrassed by my sensitivity

1000 replies

MarysLittleLamb · 26/02/2018 12:52

I get very moved by certain types of art and music, so much so that I occasionally cry. Last year we went to the Louvre and I ended up silently weeping at a number of art works. When we got out of the gallery DH admitted that he finds it all a bit over the top and unnecessary - as if I do it on purpose!

Anyway we've just got back from Rome. I became a little overwhelmed in the coliseum when I thought about the violence and death that had taken place there. DH said I was the only one in the entire place crying and he was fed up with it. I explained that I don't do it on purpose, it just gets to me.

We went to the Sistine Chappell the day after and I ended up screaming at the MichaelAngelo. A number of tourists tried to console me but DH just walked off muttering "for fucks sake". I felt so stupid. When we got out DH had a massive rant at me about how I spoil everything for him and he often wishes he was with someone normal who could visit places without making a scene. He also declared that he no longer enjoys travelling with me. I'm gutted because travel is the main thing we do together. AIBU to think I can't change who I am or should I??

OP posts:
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19
HappyintheHills · 26/02/2018 14:36

OP did this appalling behaviour start in Maui?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 26/02/2018 14:36

They don't even like you talking in the Sistene Chapel.
Wailing is definitely a no-no

DownstairsMixUp · 26/02/2018 14:36

I think this should go in classics

LaurieMarlow · 26/02/2018 14:36

OP, I don't know you and am not entirely sure you're real however, I've decided I want to go on holidays with you from now on.

I have a low tolerance for boredom, but with you around there'd never be a dull moment.

DietCokeGirrrrrl · 26/02/2018 14:36

The title of this thread should really be 'husband embarrassed by my total inability to adhere to basic social norms in public places'

happygirly1 · 26/02/2018 14:36

I don't want to sound mean, but I've just had a full-on fit of the giggles reading this. Full-on howling laughing, tears streaming down my face, being looked at weird by my kid.

I think it's the mental image of someone screaming at artwork in the middle of the Sistine chapel. Bless you OP, I hate to say I think it's super embarrassing and I can understand why our husband walks away.

doesthislookoddtoyou · 26/02/2018 14:37

When we got out DH had a massive rant at me about how I spoil everything for him and he often wishes he was with someone normal who could visit places without making a scene. He also declared that he no longer enjoys travelling with me. I'm gutted because travel is the main thing we do together

I'm with him. You sound like an absolute nightmare to travel with, I wouldn't go to the chipper with you!

gingergenius · 26/02/2018 14:38

Now you're just being daft. That's beyond being sensitive/emotional. That is irrational/insane behaviour.

Apparently not!

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stendhal_syndrome

InsomniacAnonymous · 26/02/2018 14:38

CALM DOWN DEAR!

I feel very very sorry for your husband. You take being a drama queen to the extreme. Stop it. It's nothing more than attention seeking when it's at the level and frequency you describe.

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/02/2018 14:38

My dog howls when dd plays her flute. I think he is more moved by performing arts and we may have to forego a visit to the opera.

londonista · 26/02/2018 14:38

This thread has made my day.

k2p2k2tog · 26/02/2018 14:39

Poor, poor husband.

OP you're not "sensitive". You're an out and out drama llama, look at me, attention seeking nightmare.

SilverySurfer · 26/02/2018 14:39

I felt like I could leverate up and be taken to it and the frustration of not being able to just crushed me.

Hahahahahaha

Rachie1973
How did you deal with Dobby dying?

I don't know about you, I sobbed my heart out - who didn't?

Seriously OP I appreciate you think you are the most sensitive snowflake on the planet but you need to toughen up, fast. Not only did you embarrass your poor DH, you disturbed other people's enjoyment - it all screams me me me. Get a grip or stay in a darkened room.

Oh and the word is levitate - not leverate.

I am currently flat on my back in hospital and this thread has made me laugh - so cheers Grin Definitely should be moved to Classics.

mummyhaschangedhername · 26/02/2018 14:39

OP, do you feel like your reactions are rationale?

I get the impression you came on here looking for others to say that it was entirely normal to be overwhelmed, which at times many of us get overwhelmed, but you reactions are way past that.

I think silently weeping to something that touches you is a normal enough reaction, but full blown crying and worse screaming/wailing is very bizarre.

Were you not mortified by being escorted out?

What culture are you from? I suppose some cultures do display greater degrees of emotion.

Do you actually know someone who died on 9/11? most of us remember that event and I'm sure we are all deeply saddened, but do you not see that your reaction has nothing to do with that event and more to do with demanding attention?

Why is your husband even still going with you to placed where you make such a sceptical of yourself?

You're not a highly sensitive person, that's something entirely different, this is almost the opposite, this feels very attention seeking.

You give some indication that you do have control over it by stating why should you change, surely you change because you don't want to draw attention to yourself at such emotive places? If you are no control then I do feel for you, perhaps it's a good idea to visit your GP and get some advice. In the meantime avoid such emotive places.

I don't think you should be worried about a silent Tear here and there, but anything that draws attention to you and away from the event or other people's enjoyment of it is a no-no. Obviously, things happen, people faint or have nose bleeds or various other things happen that can't be controlled. But it sounding like it's just how you handle these experiences and it's not appropriate.

But, they have happened, get some help and move past them. Good luck OP.

OhCalamity · 26/02/2018 14:40

Were you on glue at the time?

Sparklesocks · 26/02/2018 14:40

It feels very performative, as if you’re trying to show everyone around you just how much more moved/inspired by the art than they are. Perhaps if you do not have the same reactions in private that might be a clue,

kubex · 26/02/2018 14:40

Wow.

People like you shouldn't be allowed in public places.

How embarrassing for your DH.

beboldbebluntbehonest · 26/02/2018 14:42

I'm embarrassed by you and I don't even know you 🤨

TerfyMcTerface · 26/02/2018 14:42

Can I recommend the film Marley and Me, OP?

TempusEejit · 26/02/2018 14:42

Mary was a screaming lamb
No fleece as white as snow
But at every place where tourists abound
The tears would surely flow

She screamed at Michaelangelo
She wept whilst visiting Rome
But yet she still can't understand
Why DH stays at home...

Nicpem1982 · 26/02/2018 14:43

Tempus Grin

UnimaginativeUsername · 26/02/2018 14:43

I very quietly sobbed in the cinema when Dobby died. So quietly that no one with me noticed (and took the piss).

I cry at just about anything in the cinema so I have had a chance to practise the art of stealth sobbing.

Haudyerwheesht · 26/02/2018 14:44

Omg I would never go anywhere with you OP. I can’t decide if this is even real but if it is it’s mortifying.

Elementtree · 26/02/2018 14:44

I remember saying "oh my god, oh my god" and DH rolled his eyes and said "oh don't start, nobody else is making a scene"

GrinGrinGrin

Comedy gold.

Knittedfairies · 26/02/2018 14:45

👏👏Tempus

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