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He wouldnt leave

56 replies

Twocatsonebaby · 26/02/2018 09:44

So all last week dp was begging me to join my mom on a trip an hour and a half away to my aunts. He begged me and said he needed his own time for himself. I've gone back on maternity leave now as I'm 35 weeks pregnant but he's done most of looking after dd whilst I've been at work. She's 10 months old. (before people slate me, ds was not planned. My contraceptive failed and although I considered abortion and adoption, I can't do it. I'll just have to manage). I can understand him wanting 5 mins. But he's been let go from his job. He has 5 mins when she's napping etc.
I do everything. Pay all the bills, all the housework and I won't lie, I'm really struggling. I'm in so much pain.
He constantly moans at me. Constantly tells me I have a week to get rid of the cat, which is my company being as though he's gaming all the time with his friends online. Ive had to sell everything precious to me to pay bills.. You get the idea. I'm depressed because of him.

So I went out Saturday. I felt shit as I have sciatica. I didn't eat or drink all day cause my aunt didn't offer and there's no shops around her. I took dd so had to try and keep her routine normal which I struggled to do. I was tied, weak and wanted to come home to my privacy to eat something.
So I gave him strict instructions I wanted the house spotless. SPOTLESS. I messaged him to help me get dd out the car too as I had all her bags etc. He wasn't waiting for us.
I walked in to find the house a real tip. An I'm not exaggerating. There were his friends round which I weren't informed were coming. Girls (who his friends bought) who don't like me. KFC chicken everywhere. He hadn't made dd a bottle to come home to. He didn't even say hello.

I went upstairs. Did dd a bottle and went up. He came up after I'd been there for about an hour in my room trying desperately to get dd to sleep and I told him to basically fuck off. I'd had enough and wanted him to go back to his family. His friends could drive him back home. I put some clothes in a bad for him and threw them down the stairs and told him he wasn't welcome anymore. My home isn't a damn hotel and I won't be treated that way.

So anyway, as soon as he went back downstairs, he kicked everyone out and then tidied everywhere. He then left. (I was upstairs.) by this point, I locked the door and I went to bed with dd. I woke up about half hour later to see flowers and chocolate. (not good enough to me) and he hadn't gone home. He decided to stay.

An he still won't damn leave. Im barely speaking to him. I'm so angry.
Is this unreasonable? I think he's staying until ds is born but I don't understand why he doesn't just leave. He's doing nothing for me and won't go.

OP posts:
GrannyGrissle · 26/02/2018 11:48

Good for you OP in not putting up with this shit. As soon as i read 'gaming' as a hobby i know the relationship will go only one way.
Police then change the locks and breathe a big sigh of relief.

LifeBeginsAtGin · 26/02/2018 12:07

OP, you already have a thread going about this, and you were advised not to go to your aunts.

Why did you go, and why are you not following the advice you have already been given?

Backscratchesforever · 26/02/2018 12:29

So it is the same op...

Just do it, stop messing around. Not taking a direct approach is obviously giving him hope.

I’m beginning to think you won’t do anything anyone suggests.

Twocatsonebaby · 26/02/2018 13:22

I did give him a direct approach. I tried to kick him out. I told him to leave. I packed his things an he won't fucking leave!

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 26/02/2018 13:27

Op, you need someone you come and help you, family member, friend or the police.

You shouldnt have gone to your aunts, as many people advised you last week.

Twocatsonebaby · 26/02/2018 13:44

I know. I shouldn't have. It is family though and i needed to support my mom. Just not that heavily pregnant and I felt like I had to by this guy. They did want to meet dd too but you're absolutely right. I should've stood my ground on that.
Partly why I've attempted to kick him out but that's gone so well. I do need to seek legal advice here like you all say, as he's been primary carer. I don't want dd away from me.

OP posts:
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