Didn't send Christmas cards last year , family members not happy.

[butterfly198615]

AIBU ? To explain to the family members , why we didn't send xmas cards this year or to post a status on facebook so most people can see it. Or just not bother at all.
It's just really annoyed me.

My husband has been told that certain members of his family are not happy they didn't receive a Xmas card off us this Christmas just gone.

My husband had an operation the middle of December and it went wrong and he nearly died and was in ICU. He came out ok but recovery was hard and he couldn't work etc. The said family members didn't come to visit him once in the hospital ,one family member works in the hospital and the other lives across the road from the hospital. No one phoned him to see how he was etc they knew what had happened as I told them . When my husband got out of hospital he went round the people who didn't come to see him to show he was out of hospital and on the mend.
Anyways as my husband wasn't working money was a bit tight and we barely managed to have a good Christmas with our children as it was so close to Christmas this all happened and we weren't in the Xmas spirit,so to speak ,but tried to make it good for our children.
I just think that to be petty over a Christmas card when their son nearly died is appalling.

I don't mean to sound harsh but sending Christmas cards out was the last thing on our minds. And most family members understud about our situation so weren't offended.

It wouldn't be a horrible status , just apologising and explaining why we didn't send out Xmas cards last year and that we are hoping for a better year this year, as last year was full of ups and downs.

Oh - and if you do confront them, don't do it on facebook.

Blimey is that all they have to worry about????

So this came up because your husband told them he was hurt about the lack of visits? The inlaws then retaliated about the card? While it's not pleasant, that's not quite the same as saying they complained about the lack of a card IMO. Bit of a dripfeed there!

Nobody has any obligation to send cards and the people who are worth your time and bother will understand the circumstances you were in. The rest IMO can go and... you know. 😁
I hope your next Christmas is better! Take care x

Ignore them, don't post on FB - it would seem odd so late in the day. Send to who you would normally send (or not) next year.

I feel sad that Christmas cards seem to be a dying custom and still send to older relatives and friends who we don't get to see as often as we'd like.

I also use them as an opportunity to write a few lines to express love or thanks to family/friends, etc. that I don't verbalise enough throughout the year.
I often wonder if all the people who say they will donate to charity instead really do.

Must admit I went through my list this year and deleted all those who haven't sent one to us for a couple of years...but will obv still send to all the old aunties as I see what pleasure cards bring to my elderly parents. Having said all that, I'm sure I wouldn't have sent any last year had I been in your position OP!

No my husband told his mum , My MIL. She isn't with his dad and doesn't have anything to do with them so didn't tell them anything. However my husband's brother who is his dad's real son. My husband was adopted but his mum divorced his adopted dad but my husband still sees him as his dad of course . It seems they were moaning to his brother and his brother told his mum and she told my husband.

Some people are just shit people OP, the end. Don't let them make you question yourself. You sound like an anxious people pleaser. Life is too short for this nonsense

My dh lost his dad in november and was very poorly, not dying though in December.
We had a similar situation where one of our dc didn't send a family member a card, they got so upset they said they'd cut him off
I told my ds to say he and his partner would not be sending any this year.
Some people are selfish and just bonkers OP, just ignore them and don't even try to understand or reason.

You are most definitely NBU. I stopped Christmas cards years ago after I lost address book. Also my mum was in hospital at the time and my dad had to go into a home . Plus my husband also had to have an operation. He went into hospital the day my mum was discharged. Different hospital only survived cos my sister came home from overseas for a week to help. Always hated writing the things. A lot of people do not send cards now but announce that they making a donation to charity instead. Something to consider for Christmas 2018