To wonder if my friends will get divorced?

[CopenhagenMaiden]

Group of 7, all happily married (afaik) and done with children.

I sometimes wonder statistically is it possible 10 years from now that out of 7 marriages will we all still be together?

OED defines middle age as 'about 45 to 65'. I don't think there's a hard and fast definition, but I wouldn't class anyone under 40 as middle aged.

30 - 40 is considered middle aged? That's ridiculous by most sensible people's standards.

Middle aged is surely being halfway through life (although based on life expectancy since you can’t know when you’ll die!).

Star she did say done with children but has said that was autocorrected. To me all done with children I read as their children being adults. That's why I remarked about them being middle aged
I do know 4 couples who have recently divorced, all of whom were married 25 years +

It's possible but unlikely that you'll all stay together. Many relationships founder in the first few years or when children arrive as that puts a big strain on couples. I have thought similar retrospectively about my NCT class, 7 couples all with an oldest child that will be 12 this year, and all still together. But we are now in our 40s so unbelievably ancient! Who knows what will happen in years to come? A lot of my friends parents divorced once the children were grown up, I guess they had stayed together for the kids and once the nest was empty no longer had reason to stay.

Who knows who will get divorced? Our friendship group is a group of 6 couples (so 12 of us) and we've all been with our partners for over 15 years. I wouldn't be at all surprised if one or all of us divorced. I hope not, but no one can be surprised as they have no idea what goes on behind the four walls of another persons home. We know what we're told. I remember many years ago being friends with a couple who seemed to have the 'perfect' marriage, always gushing about how lucky they were and that they were soul mates. Turns out he was shagging her sister, got her pregnant and broke his wife's heart.

None of us have any idea what the future holds.

I think it's probably very common at a certain stage in life to look at where your friends are at and want to be like them, fear change (understandable) and not want to be the odd one out.

But at the risk of sounding very patronising I think when your children are a little older, being happy will become a bigger goal. Just ''staying together'' as a goal ................ it sounds kind of immature to my ears. But I've been round the block as a single woman and I'm well in to my forties.

I don't think 30-40 is middle aged

I'm 43 and I feel like I'm probably approaching middle age.

Technically...

OP, you said "We are all in our mid to late 20s so middle aged I guess or close to" and then, in a later post, you said "I thought 30-40 was classed as middle age?" so which is it? I have never seen mid to late 20s described as middle aged before.

If 42% end in divorce, probability would mean each could have 42% chance of ending in divorce. The fact that there are 7 couples is irrelevant to the chances of them being in divorce.

Of my primary school Mum friends, most have divorced in the past 2-3 years (kids now 16-18). One left her DH for a toy boy, one for another woman, another’s husband went off with his secretary and the rest all decided that their husbands were arses and that they’d be better off without them.

Yes it’s likely you will. On the balance of probabilities. You’re all still very young.

And if you do you will be shocked by behaviour. People you thought you knew and you thought were decent will treat ex spouses and children terribly. It’s pretty shocking to see happen.

I’m almost 40. The people I know who married childhood sweethearts are still together. The people I know who married mid/late thirties or in their 40s/50s are still together. Those who married mid twenties seem to have fared worst - several very unpleasant divorces with some very unpleasant revelations over behaviour.

Of course nothing is set in stone. Maybe they will all live happily ever after.

I wonder this too. My friends all seem very happily married as are we. But statistically some of us will get divorced, if its not going to be them then it must be me!
Or perhaps we will all remain happily married and another friendship group living parallel to us will all split up

If 42% of marriages end in divorce the chances are 97% that at least one will end in divorce.
Of course that's end in divorce (or whatever the 42% referred to), not within a specified time frame

I'm 40 something and not middle aged!

My 74 fil calls himself middle aged!

I thought 30-40 was classed as middle age? I don’t know never gave it much thought

Ah is this your parents and grand parents who have given you this classification brcause the acerage life exoectancy of people in rhe 1940-50s was around 65-70 so yes to them 30-40 would be middle aged.

There was a sharp raise in the 60's and life expectancy has kept raising since then the current life expentancy is around 80 which makes middle age 40-50.

Middle age has alsorts of connatations, and i know your done with kids was a typo, but actaully thats what people may ecpect from a middle age older/teenage children even prehaps grown up children, mortage, stable income etc settled dowb and have been for some while. In our grandparents even our parents generation that would really be about 35. My dad always said he was an older dad when he had me at 30, but in this generation its not really until your in to your 40's indeed my brother didnt have his first child until he was 40. Which to my dad would have been very middle aged and very old to stsrt a family

This thread is cracking me up. Starts as a philosophical musing about how many couples in your friendship group might beat divorce statistics, rapidly turns into a parralel universe where being in your late twenties means you're middle aged. Also reminded me of the Take a Break thread where people in their mid twenties have one through multiple relationships and have tons of children by the age of 25.

'If 42% end in divorce, probability would mean each could have 42% chance of ending in divorce. The fact that there are 7 couples is irrelevant to the chances of them being in divorce.
'
the question was whether ALL of them would be together which with 42 percent number would give you a
0 divorce = 2.2 percent chance
1 divorce =11.2
2 divorce= 24.3
3 divorce = 29.3
4 divorce= 21.2
5 divorces = 9.2
6 divorces =2.2
7 divorces= 0.2

I got 97% chance of at least one divorce. Assuming independence which of course is quite a big assumption

Oh yes about the same sorry

even if the divorce rate was 10 percent the likelyhood of none of you divorcing is 48 percent

I think some people are far less likely to divorce than others possibly due to their own family experience and their upbringing.

Myself and DH are both one of four siblings. All are married 20-30 years and none divorced. Neither of us have any close relations who are divorced other than a couple of cousins.

Of our friendship groups there have been only a very few marriage breakdowns. Some but not many at all. I’m quite certain there will have been ups and downs for everyone but for some reason the people we know have stayed together.

The OED doesn’t think I’m middle aged yet?! That’s made my day!

I oddly thought this over summer as lots of friends of friends were splitting up. Then what do you know - boom- it happened in our friendship group with probably the people I would have least suspected it would happen to. Was a huge shock but in the last 6 months there are suddenly so many. All fast approaching 40. I get what you mean as I often wonder about the future.