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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what career would you like your kids to do?

139 replies

Pointlessfact · 24/02/2018 20:40

Can be anything

Being a football fan , obviously a footballer would be high up there

And then maybe a doctor or a lawyer

OP posts:
whatatod0 · 25/02/2018 09:57

DD - journalist because she likes writing,
DS - a few years in the city to make some money, then start a product development company.

Helsingborg · 25/02/2018 09:58

Currently one wants to be a teacher and the other a fairy. There's another 10+ years before they fill out their UCAS forms so I imagine they will have changed their minds by then.

holeinmyheart · 25/02/2018 10:04

Well it's sad any parent bullying their children into taking up a career path that ultimately distresses them. However, that doesn't mean that I don't respect the Indian( because statically they are Indian origin) migrant population for providing a home that is stable and conducive to study, because I do.
My lovely dentist is of Indian origin and he loves it.
You may not realise it ( whilst your children are small) that they will be discussing your parenting skills with you, when they reach adult hood and will not be exactly unforgiving either.
I have never heard the end of when I made them have 'Piano' lessons. I think I have escaped from my mistakes as a parent quite lightly from my lovely lovely children, who I love with all my heart.

skippy67 · 25/02/2018 10:04

Nothing in the civil service. And yes, I speak from experience.

GrasswillbeGreener · 25/02/2018 10:05

I'm interested that a couple of posters have had children make it in their early childhood dreams.

My youngest fell in love with the organ age 4, and I have wondered intermittently ever since whether he will end up an organist. Now (age 12) it looks distinctly possible. And if not he will always be able to earn something with it as a sideline. Engineering of some flavour is also very plausible; maybe he'll be an organ builder ...

Like many above I've always hoped for them to be able to pursue something they enjoy. My eldest at 15 still has little idea of direction - except not science though she's very good at it. I could see her doing law maybe but she might do well in a number of things. It will be interesting if someone can point her in a humanities / science crossover direction, but she's not likely to take that kind of suggestion from me!

Mumsymcmumface · 25/02/2018 10:07

People saying not teaching, too much stress etc.

I get it’s a stressful job, but lots and lots of people have stressful jobs.

Teachers get a decent salary, sick pay (including time off for stress that loads of people could never have) loads of holiday, pension, and unless you do something listed as gross misconduct pretty much have a job for life.

So yes it might be stressfull compared to some jobs, but in the grand scheme of things and the way people live their lives?

TheSconeOfStone · 25/02/2018 10:12

I just want DD1 to be able to work. She has ASD so our ambitions for her are that she survives the school system with her mental health relatively intact. I can see her teaching SN kids. She loves cartoon type drawing so would be good at creating social stories.

DD2 is 7 and wants to run her own nursery. She wants to cuddle babies and toddlers all day. She is fascinated by anything hospital or health related so may go down that path.

Having an SN child had been such a shock I try not to plan too much for anything any more.

Bonkersblond · 25/02/2018 10:14

My job as a parent is to get them through their education to a standard that will enable them to have a choice in their chosen career and not something they have to do to pay the bills. Although I am telling them to aim for a career that is not going to be replaced with an automated system/robot. So if DD wants to be a hairdresser that’s fine, this week she wants to be a paediatric nurse but next week could be something different. DS is making noises about going in the forces but that could all change next week too, here’s hoping anyway.

BlindLemonAlley · 25/02/2018 10:20

It is so sad to hear that people would discourage their DCs from choosing teaching or nursing. I hope the powers that be wake up and realise that something needs to be done to make these vital professions more attractive or the future looks pretty bleak.

FranticallyPeaceful · 25/02/2018 10:23

One of mine wants to be a surgeon and one wants to be an animator - so I’d like for them to be these things, unless they change of course.

I’d like them to be whatever they want and have the courage to change what they are if what they want changes

FranticallyPeaceful · 25/02/2018 10:26

@TheSconeOfStone not an option for everybody but have you thought about Home schooling? It’s so crushing seeing how many bright, beautiful and capable SN children get crushed by the school system. I’ve been told a lot of them decided to Home school and it completely changed their lives and outlook. I don’t have SN children so I’m just talking from what I’ve been told though!

Fruitcocktail6 · 25/02/2018 10:28

Some kind of environmental scientist. I want them to go on to save the rhinos/the ocean/the rainforest. We're going to need it by the time this baby is a grown up.

CountFosco · 25/02/2018 10:31

I want them to have job security, good terms and conditions, the possibility of flexible working if they want it and a salary that is high enough to enable them to have choices in life. Oh, and a job that is possible to do into old age because they will have to work into their 70s. We are strongly encouraging an interest in STEM (we both have STEM careers that have all of the above).

My kids are all at primary school and the 10 year old wants to be a zoologist, the 8 year old wants to be an art teacher and the 5 year old wants to be a superhero with superstrength and laser eyes Grin.

SockEatingMonster · 25/02/2018 10:34

I would like DD, DS and DSS to choose careers where it is possible to have a healthy worklife balance (even if only after a certain career milestone).

I will support them in pretty much anything they choose though.

speakout · 25/02/2018 10:35

I don't hope - they can do as they please and I will be proud.

I would prefer that they don't do anything dangerous, like joining the army or police force ( as valuable as these jobs are), but that's for my own selfish reasons.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 25/02/2018 10:39

I think everyone wants their kids to be happy in whatever job they chose!

If I had to have a choice I'd pick biology or something else in science, only because I find it fascinating. 😀

DS1wants to be a chef though which is cool with me, DS2 has never said he wants to do anything and the other 2 are too little to think about it.

I have jobs that I certainty don't want them to do but that's another thread.

Appuskidu · 25/02/2018 10:45

People saying not teaching, too much stress etc.I get it’s a stressful job, but lots and lots of people have stressful jobs.

Indeed, though I suspect many of the people on this thread saying they don’t mind what their children do, but wouldn’t recommend teaching are actually teachers so are speaking with some experience.

Yes, there are good holidays (though no leaway at all for days off during term time, no matter what the reason) and like many jobs-sick pay and a pension. However, many people are finding that the job is only sustainable any more part time (without seriousness harm to your own mental health) which totally screws that pension.

I haven’t needed to say a word to my children about why I might not want them to teach-they decided that all on their own-years ago just by seeing what it was like and how much of your evenings and weekends are lost to it. They can see when daddy walks in from work, his work is done for the day, but I have hours still to go. It’s understandable that they see his job as far more preferable!

I wish someone had told me what it was like before I trained-I wouldn’t have gone near it. To be fair though, it wasn’t like this when I trained 20 years ago anyway-it’s almost an unrecognisable job now which is what’s so sad as I KNOW none of the things we now spend hours doing, actually benefit the children.

People aren’t saying that they don’t want their precious child to have a job that’s stressful-all jobs can be stressful. It is fair enough though, to hope that your own children don’t end up in the same miserable situation that you see your colleagues desperately trying to escape from on a daily basis.

and unless you do something listed as gross misconduct pretty much have a job for life.

That is simply untrue. I know of several teachers who’s have been ‘managed out’ purely because a new head didn’t like them. Mainly because they were experienced and expensive. If you are UPS, your card is pretty much marked unless you are SMT or have a particular marketable skill. When budgets are in the mess they are in-head want an NQT who they can pay £22,000 in a classroom, not someone on UPS3 who they have to pay £38,000 for doing exactly the same job in a class. The wealth of experience is overlooked and only the cheapness is valued when the budget is so limited.

A manufactured ‘Poor’ lesson observation (in someone’s opinion) will take place on this poor ‘elderly’ teacher= compulsory weekly observations = unexpected drop ins = weekly planning and book scrutinies = stressed teacher = more observations, often at 2.45 on a Friday afternoon just to make sure the kids aren’t focused = capability = competency proceedings = out on your ear.

This can all be done easily with half a term-I have seen it done several times in several different schools. There is no one in my last two schools under the age of 50. As we are all working to 68 now, I strongly disagree that it’s a job for life.

BossWitch · 25/02/2018 10:55

Not teaching. Not doctor or nurse.

I'd quite like it if dd went into engineering.

Nomad86 · 25/02/2018 11:06

Dd wants to be a ballerina but refuses ballet lessons. I'd like one to work for an airline so I can get free flights, the other to work for John Lewis, for their discount. They're free to decide amongst themselves who does which.

GetOutOfMYGarden · 25/02/2018 11:09

Whatever makes them happy. Whether thats fixing cars or doing something in finance. If they're being a benefit to society and are enjoying themselves, then great.

That said, I'd discourage them away from my own career. It's one that most mums would love them to go into, but the conditions aren't great and you truly have to love it to not burn out.

ByTheSea · 25/02/2018 11:18

I think DD1-18 would be happy in academia and DD2-15 will pursue a career in music. Right now she gets some local attention for her songwriting and performing and whilst I know it's very competitive, I actually think she has a shot at it; she seems to have a gift for creating great catchy tunes and lyrics.

n0ne · 25/02/2018 11:28

I'd love my girls to be professional musicians (classical or jazz rather than pop), scientists, engineers or some kind of humanities-based academia. But I'd be happy whatever they do as long as it was fulfilling and, selfishly, not dangerous! I'd be gutted in so many ways if they joined the armed forces.

Pengweng · 25/02/2018 11:32

One wants to be a maths teacher or a scientist the other one wants to be a princess or do colouring in Hmm

I'd like them to have a well paid secure job that they like.
Maybe an architect or engineer.

MrsDoyleFallingOutTheWindow · 25/02/2018 11:41

I'd be happy with them doing anything other than rozzer or armed forces. Not mad keen on university unless it's with a particular aim in mind and I would actively discourage an arts/humanities degree as generally they seem to mean £50 k in debt to work in admin.

gillybeanz · 25/02/2018 11:50

Happiness is more important than money, I'd never encourage mine into any job/career for the money, working conditions etc.
It only makes them unhappy and resentful of the parents.
I've known a few relationships flounder between parent and dc that were encouraged into certain professions, one or two were expected to be doctors or lawyers like their fathers Sad