Child maintenance.

[bbell22]

First time posting....ok so me and hubby separated back in Nov, we've got 3 kids. I stayed in home as had nowhere to go, 3 weeks ago finally moved into rental property. 2 youngest have come with me, eldest has stayed with him. I wasn't on the mortgage, but am aware "legally" I would be entitled to some equity from our marital home.

We've spoken tonight about maintenance payments. He's come up with a figure of £200 per month for the 2 kids. I've worked out that i should pay him £7 a week for my eldest as she's with him. He's self employed and so it's hard to work out what he should be paying as he doesn't have set income coming in each week. I work part time.

Any help, advice or comments would be appreciated. Especially if the £200 sounds a reasonable figure.....he says he doesn't want the £7 for eldest.

When we were still together he got a car on finance for 3 years and this cost £150 per month, he's said he'll let me keep this car and pay that for now as I'm driving the kids about.

TIA

Do you have any idea of his earnings at all?
I think that's a bit on the low side but with him being self employed I'd be tempted to not rock the boat as CMS or whatever they're called now are a bit useless when it comes to undeclared income.
My sisters ex was declaring income of £750 a month despite the fact she had proof he was paying £2000 a month in rent plus an expensive car loan on top and he got away with it (She also reported him to hmrc who did nothing).

Surely it depends on how much your kids cost you? For example, my son costs more than that just in extracurricular activities so £200 wouldn't be anywhere near enough for just one child?

Unfortunately domino CM is based on the fathers income, not what the kids cost. So if this is worked out accurately to his income (which it may be) there's nothing op can do even if it barely scratches the surface

Why did you leave the house? Get back in it

How old are all the dc?

And why did you leave/move out of home?

I think if he is paying all the costs of 1 child and paying towards the other 2 then it sounds reasonable provided that it is proportionate to his income

My ex paid me £160 per month for 2 children based on his minimum wage full time job

I'm assuming you know what he earns roughly -so do you think it's reasonable?

From what I've seen on here if you have an amicable agreement and are receiving money then take it- CMS may be lower, if he is self employed he can cook his books, disagreements may cost more in legal fees and will be better for the children to have parents that get on

Ok the not nice bit now why I left (I already feel bad so please don't be harsh). I was unhappy in the marriage and instead of doing the right thing and leave, i had an affair and he found out. So I had already told him over the years that I was unhappy, but nothing changed and because I didn't work then, I felt pretty trapped as to how to leave or move forward. Yes I know what I did wasn't going to help and I can't change that now. His take on it was I did this, I ended the marriage, why should he go anywhere.

His earnings are higher than what he's saying, I have copies of his past end of year accounts. But I don't want to rock the boat too much.

when he actually pays me DD gets £200 a month from her father based on him earning around 1400 pm. This is an informal arrangement though. £200 for 2 kids is too low IMO.

Affair aside for a minute, how old are the dc?

Having an affair ain’t great... but that’s between you and him. The maintenance is to pay for his children... he shouldn’t withhold money for them to punish you. Nor should you let him. Guilt aside do you really believe this is enough?

Oh and I think you’re entitled to half of the marital assets?

An affair has no bearing on how your assets are split after a divorce.

If he has one of the kids, and you have 2 then he needs to pay 21.5% of his income to you for those kids. (This assumes that they stay with him less than 1 night a week.) Therefore if he earns more than £1000 a month gross - i.e. £12,000 a year then he is underpaying at £200.
Independent of reasons for divorce 50% of marital assets are yours too - including equity in house and value of car less it's loan.

do you know roughyl at all what he brings in a year?

200 does sound low but hes paying for car aswell so that bumps it up a bit

Thanks everyone....kids are 14 (living with him) then 9 and 6.

Why did 14yr old decide to stay with him?

And have you got yourself a lawyer? Don't try to 'wing it'. It all sounds rather precarious.

The Ex H is still keeping a roof over one childs head.

Independent of reasons for divorce 50% of marital assets are yours too - including equity in house and value of car less it's loan. This is not necessarily what a judge would decide - please get legal advice. And whilst a property has a mortgage on it, the lender has an interest in the property also

Why did 14yr old decide to stay with him?

Is that relevant to the OPs questions? 14yo's are able to choose.

£200 is not reasonable at all. Your dc will be growing and changing schools and whatever else. £200 wouldn't even cover their food let alone anything else. I hope to hell you have a lawyer.

And for example this:

When we were still together he got a car on finance for 3 years and this cost £150 per month, he's said he'll let me keep this car and pay that for now as I'm driving the kids about.

It sounds like he thinks he is doing you a favour. Nope. You shouldn't have had an affair and it sounds like the marriage should have ended a long time ago but here you are.

Depends what he earns!

So £200 + £150 = £350 a month for 2 children, if you were looking after all 3 that would be the equivalent of £525 a month. I think that sounds a reasonable amount for an amicable split which he will hopefully pay rather than an angry split where he could probably cook the books and get it down to a lot less.

You really need a solicitor.The affair you had has no bearing on your share of finances etc.so you need impartial input otherwise you will sell you and your children short.

Thank you all....no I don't have solicitor. That's my next step....appreciate everyone's input.

You do know you will have to pay him maintenance too right?

£7 a week is nothing please get a job and support your child properly, yes he might be needing to pay you more but what you are paying is a insult if you are on benefits which is the only reason for payments to be so get yourself a job and pay proper maintenance if you were a dad you would be called a deadbeat.

I am sorry that you are getting all high and mighty saying he should be paying you money to look after two thirds of your children while you pay nearly nothing for the other third.

Yes get a solicitor as they can tell you what you are entitled to and what you soon to be ex is (your share can be reduced to top up the puny maintenance payments you are paying ). While i can say exactly what you will get with him having a child full time i doubt you will get more then 50% off the assists.