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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cannot bloody believe this!!

42 replies

Notavictimbutasurvivor · 23/02/2018 16:37

Background.
Three children, ex of 19 years moves in with a prostitute he met at a brothel and her child. She's now pregnant. Only paid maintenance when he felt like because he has a new family and his current partner doesn't like him giving me money. so I went to csa. He's not happy about that at all but hey ho.

My daughter asked him the other day for £10 pocket money and he gave it to her. Today I checked my bank to see if he had put the children's maintenance in and he had taken the £10 off. Seriously?!

OP posts:
KarmaStar · 23/02/2018 16:39

What a lovely man!you must really might him OP

KarmaStar · 23/02/2018 16:39

Miss him😊

Inertia · 23/02/2018 16:41

Can you not arrange for the CSA to deduct the money direct from his income?

Trinity66 · 23/02/2018 16:41

He's in violation of his court order then isn't he? Report the fucker

Twocatsonebaby · 23/02/2018 16:42

Some men are just driven by the woman they're with. My dad was exactly the same an hesitant to pay with csa were involved.

Original poster
Notavictimbutasurvivor · 23/02/2018 16:43

It didn't go through court just the child maintenance people.
I'm going to have to start the process off again aren't I? Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Notavictimbutasurvivor · 23/02/2018 16:45

@karma I miss him everyday Grin

Seriously though, it's just control all over again but this time financially.
Since the csa put the order in place he has been doing loads of overtime so he'll be stung I hope

OP posts:
Trinity66 · 23/02/2018 16:46

It didn't go through court just the child maintenance people.
I'm going to have to start the process off again aren't I?

Yeah get it all done properly so he can't do things like that. What an asshole, sounds like you are well rid, be happy about that atleast Flowers

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/02/2018 16:49

It's so maddening it's laughable.

Original poster
Notavictimbutasurvivor · 23/02/2018 16:49

Every week that no mark causes drama in my household. He's gone from being a father in my kids lives to seeing them for 30 minutes at a pub he's sat in with his mates on a Friday.

He's told the kids to let me know that when the baby is born the money will go down. I can do more hours at work but then the kids home life suffers. I don't think he cares that this is effecting the kids more than me.

He needs castrating

OP posts:
Rubies12345 · 23/02/2018 16:52

Are the CMS not just taking it directly out of his wages?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/02/2018 16:53

Why should your kids suffer monetary wise because he can't keep it in his trousers or to quote Jezza put something on the end of it.
He's that much of a shit house. He's getting his kids to pass on messages.

Trinity66 · 23/02/2018 16:53

He's told the kids to let me know that when the baby is born the money will go down

Get it all done through court and get them to get if off him aswell. I hate when parents get their kids involved in money issues like that, so classless

Original poster
Notavictimbutasurvivor · 23/02/2018 16:53

No I asked for that to happen but they said at first we need to try and do it between ourselves. I can't even get in touch with him because I have restraining orders against him.

Think I'll be giving csa a call on Monday. I just needed to vent Angry

OP posts:
strathmorewater · 23/02/2018 16:55

What an arsetwat

strathmorewater · 23/02/2018 16:56

When he has another child, the money will differ insignificantly if at all. Children that live with him don't effect the maintenance he pays for children that don't live with him.

Healthywealthyandwise · 23/02/2018 16:57

Unfortunately the csa will take the baby into account when it arrives. You sound well rid of him though OP.

Original poster
Notavictimbutasurvivor · 23/02/2018 16:58

He gets £550 working on a bad week, makes money from selling class A and she's an escort and they're being cheap over £10 Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Notavictimbutasurvivor · 23/02/2018 17:00

I am well rid but I don't think it's fair that he can produce as many children as he would like and abandon all responsibilities towards his first children.

The system is a joke

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 23/02/2018 17:01

Utter madness.

dotdotdotmustdash · 23/02/2018 17:17

Seriously, I would do all I could to let his part in your children's lives slide into nothing - no money, no contact - nothing. You all sound like you would be better without him around.

Backingvocals · 23/02/2018 17:42

Some men are just driven by the woman they're with

Yes, it's her fault Hmm

MammaTJ · 23/02/2018 17:45

makes money from selling class A and she's an escort and they're being cheap over £10

I would really not want money for my children that was made in these ways. I feel it taints them a little, if you see what I mean! The £550 wages however, are yours or the taking, or whatever portion of that the CMS see fit.

Do get them to take the money directly from him in future, then he cannot play these games!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/02/2018 17:56

Well the fault does lie with her as well. After all shes the one pissing and moaning about him sending money to his children. Would she accept that for her own child.
Some women in the future moaning about payments going to him/her.

Birthdaycards · 23/02/2018 17:58

Hi. Phone the CSA/Child Maintenance Service today, they’re open till about 7pm and open on Saturday too. If the CSA have given you an amount and a schedule then that is what he is supposed to abide by. He’s not allowed to deduct £10 whenever he feels like it.

And unfortunately your child maintenance will be reduced when this new baby arrives.

If his income has changed recently - you said he was doing loads of overtime - you can ask CSA to look at his wages again.