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Original poster

Dog problems

114 replies

helloBuddy · 23/02/2018 09:01

Hi,

I just wanted opinions really.

We got a dog in 2016 and had just recently had a baby. We've always had difficulties with the dog, he's reactive on the lead and had separation anxiety. We've coped with this until the new baby arrived, the first few days he was awful, howling, trying to get near the baby etc. He has calmed down now and we've introduced him to the baby in a controlled way, however he keeps trying to get to her when not invited and lick her. I never leave them alone together which is a task in itself constantly having to move one of them from one room to another.

The dog also hates being left alone, we try and limit this but inevitably he has to be left sometimes. I can hear him barking when I leave the house and return. The neighbour has commented about it as well but so far isn't complaining. I also feel an immense amount and of guilt when I'm going because I know he hates it. He evens barks when we go to bed at night but will settle after about 5mins.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I would like to rehome but my partner is very against this. I feel he needs more attention then we can currently give him and needs somewhere without a baby. He's only a small dog but I worry what he could potential do. Does anyone know how easy it is to get him into rehoming charity?

Thanks

OP posts:
Shmithecat · 23/02/2018 11:16

OP, have you tried using a sling for your baby when walking the dog? No pram to deal with then.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 23/02/2018 11:21

So for instance with today's situation, how much exercise did he have before you left him today? And I don't think you've answered another sensible question of what are you feeding him. Apologies if I missed it.

bluetongue · 23/02/2018 11:25

I feel for you OP. My dog isn’t reactive but he does have separation anxiety. Part of the reason for me getting him was to improve my mental health but it’s done the opposite. He’s an adorable little guy but having a dog with behaviour issues when you have mental health struggles of your own. I’ve considered rehoming because my depression has got worse but I feel like it would be giving up in the dog version of myself Sad

I’ve ended up going to a vet for medication for him. It helps but it’s not a cure. The worst thing is everyone else seems to be out there enjoying their dogs and their lives are better because of them but for an unlucky few it’s a source of stress and unhappiness. It can feel like a really lonely place to be.

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic · 23/02/2018 11:26

Someone mentioned Flyball earlier. Do you think your DH would be willing to take him? There’s a link here Smile

Agree with trying a sling for your baby too.

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic · 23/02/2018 11:40

And if you and your DH do decide to rehome, here are the details for JRT rescue Smile

If he’s fine with other dogs, would doggy daycare help for now?

Doctordonowt · 23/02/2018 11:45

I have just got a terrier who is reactive. The things I have found success with are
An easy fit harness, which has a D ring under the Chest and another on the back. Although she can still jump she cannot go forward.

She never eats from a bowl, just the Kong bone.

To use up her energy I throw a ball up stairs constantly.

I don’t see anyway i could take her out with a pram. I need all my wits about me, I have to keep her on a short lead, wear a treat pouch and always wish I had another hand. I think that if your DH could train her to be more obedient and invest a lot of time in her you might have some success.

In the meantime you are living in a constant nightmare and unable to really enjoy your baby. In your case I would look to rehome her.

Original poster
helloBuddy · 23/02/2018 12:39

He is fed a mix of pedigree wet and dry food.

He went out for 30mins this morning.

We've enquired about doggy daycare but they wouldn't take him 😩

I've considered the baby carrier to take him out so I don't have to deal with the pram and going to try it out first time tomorrow with my partner to see how we get on. Fingers crossed. I'd loved to be taking him out with the baby daily for both our mental healths.

OP posts:
Original poster
helloBuddy · 23/02/2018 12:39

What's the easy fit harness @Doctordonowt ?

I'm also going to look at a behaviourist in the area.

OP posts:
PutYourSlippersOn · 23/02/2018 12:48

Don't think about rehoming him at this stage. Try Kong toys as someone has mentioned. I use dog biscuits/broken up chews, a bit of cheese and peanut butter to seal the end. Or any long-lasting chews will keep him busy. There are also dog 'games' you can buy where the dog has to find treats in different compartments. These things will keep your dog busy and hopefully after he'll be tired/full and want to lie down. Has he got lots of toys and a nice comfy bed? Make sure you're showing him lots of love but being firm with the fact he has to be on his own for short periods sometimes.

Regarding the fact you think he may hurt your baby. If he's never shown any signs of aggression, don't tar him with this brush. No dog should be left alone with a baby and a baby and a dog shouldn't be in each other's faces (in case the dog does feel threatened or the baby pulls at or hurts the dog).

PutYourSlippersOn · 23/02/2018 12:49

Over time, as your dog gets more used to the baby, he should be able to lie down and relax in the same room. Be patient.

teaiseverything · 23/02/2018 12:57

The food is where the issue starts. Crap food = hyperactive. I suggest meeting again with a behaviourist and going over everything from start to finish. Check their credentials as, if you met with one previously and they didn't mention the food you're giving him, I don't think they could have been any good at all. Unfortunately, we never know what we sign ourselves up for when we get a pet, much as we can't know what personality and temprament our kids will have as they grow. But, we get the cards we're dealt. The dog doesn't sound aggressive to me, just hyperactive due to food and lack of mental and physical stimulation. Search for a behaviourist and be prepared to put in hard work.

For what it's worth, I have a leash reactive, anxious JRT/Collie cross. She's almost 7 and though she's 100 times better than when she was a pup, we still have issues and about 3 times a year I get a behaviourist back to work with us for a refresher. It's an investment both time and money wise and you must be prepared to do this. Trust me, the dog isn't having any fun in his own mind as things stand and probably has what human's would refer to as crippling anxiety and it's manifesting in his behaviour.

teaiseverything · 23/02/2018 12:57

I also second flyball and agility.

Kitsharrington · 23/02/2018 12:58

Feeding a dog pedigree is like feeding a toddler nothing but sugar and then wondering why it goes nuts.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 23/02/2018 12:59

OP you could look into changing him from pedigree chum as there's some that believe this can make some dogs hyper. A good quality dog food might help him calm down somewhat along with the other suggestions posters have given you.

Best of luck OP.

EatTheChocolateTeapot · 23/02/2018 13:00

How old is your baby? i would wait it out as in a year or 2 they will have great fun together and likely be best friends.
I understand about feeling guilty but your are doing your best in the circumstances and your dog cannot always come first now that you have a baby, that doesn't mean he has to loose his family either but he has to be more flexible. Have you tried taking the dog with you and leaving him in the car? It is not hot at the moment and that way the dog will spend less time alone.
Good idea about the baby carrier.
About being agrressive with other dogs, it doesn't transfer IME to being aggressive with humans.

teaiseverything · 23/02/2018 13:04

Agree with your last sentence @EatTheChocolateTeapot

My dog is leash reactive with other dogs but an utterly slobbery lemon of a lump with people. She just wants to lick behind your ears and sniff your crotch

BiteyShark · 23/02/2018 13:16

Why did doggy daycare refuse to take him?

Get a camera set up (they are really cheap) so you can watch him when you leave the house. Honestly everyone would say mine had separation anxiety when being left as he barked for ages. When I got a camera I could tell he was afraid of his own reflection in the glass so we covered that up, then he barked when he heard noises outside so we put a radio on. He no longer barks and just sleeps when we leave him.

You are not stimulating the dog enough. If it's lead walks only then he's probably still full of energy so you are going to have to make him work for things in the house or garden to tire his mind out as well. Can you hire a dog walker?

To those saying rehome, there is nothing to indicate any issues here other than the OP has less time for him now the baby is here. But there are lots of things that can be done to improve the situation without adding to the high numbers of dogs needing rehoming.

bluebells1 · 23/02/2018 13:26

Please stop the crap food! Let me tell you what happened to a dog we know. He was on really good quality, clean food and then the owner could not find that brand. He picked up pedigree as a stop gap food- 2days. The dog went mad. He ran around in circles, growled, drooled, and finally ran away. He was brought home, food switched and he is normal. It is so so important. Please start with good food.

Exercise is the next thing. You must walk/run the dog more. And he needs to meet more people and dogs. He seems to be alright at the boarder so he is picking up the uncertainity from you.

fudgiebutt · 23/02/2018 13:32

Please please please change his diet from pedigree. I have a jrt and a baby same situation as you in that my dog is 2.5 and was here long before baby. She was very unsettled when baby arrived and started playing up on walks, also kept licking the baby etc. I changed her diet to a higher meat content one and honestly she's a different dog. On pedigree it was like giving a kid McDonald's and skittles all the time!
Also try not to shut the dog away too much when you are home with the baby otherwise jealousy issues will arise. I let my dog have a quick lick of baby and then she's happy and wanders off, doesn't get jealous. Then I just wipe the baby down where she was licked.

I know how hard it is I have been in your situation of some sorts and honestly a few months ago was ready to get rid of the dog, but the diet change and I think time of getting used to baby has worked a treat and I hope it does for you too

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic · 23/02/2018 13:36

To those saying rehome, there is nothing to indicate any issues here other than the OP has less time for him now the baby is here. But there are lots of things that can be done to improve the situation without adding to the high numbers of dogs needing rehoming. It all depends though whether or not the DH is prepared to do those things. I think if her DH is saying he wants to keep the dog but isn’t putting in much time or effort the OP shouldn’t be made to feel too guilty.

BiteyShark · 23/02/2018 13:40

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic it's down to both OP and her DH to do more. They both have a responsibility towards the dog and baby. DH could do more with the baby whilst OP does more with the dog etc.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 23/02/2018 13:40

It doesn't say anywhere that the OH isn't putting in the time and effort in with the dog! I presume he's out at work all day which is why the OP is left to look after him.

Original poster
helloBuddy · 23/02/2018 13:43

Hi,

What food would you recommend? Thanks for all the advice. I think I'm just hormonal and finding giving the attention to the dog as well as the baby difficult atm.

We want to get him into doggy daycare when I return to work so would like to work on his behaviours to have more chance of this going well.

The dog isn't shut away when the baby is around, he is often in the same room as him but is kept away. At times he is allowed and sniff when we control it.

OP posts:
Original poster
helloBuddy · 23/02/2018 13:46

My OH has put in a lot of time into the dog but can often be out at work early and back late. He is the one who takes him out in the morning and night, hence sometimes the walks are not long enough depending on how much time he has. At the weekends he gets really long walks.

OP posts:
teaiseverything · 23/02/2018 13:47

This might be useful to you dogbasics.co.uk/articles/food.html

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