Dog problems

[helloBuddy]

Hi,

I just wanted opinions really.

We got a dog in 2016 and had just recently had a baby. We've always had difficulties with the dog, he's reactive on the lead and had separation anxiety. We've coped with this until the new baby arrived, the first few days he was awful, howling, trying to get near the baby etc. He has calmed down now and we've introduced him to the baby in a controlled way, however he keeps trying to get to her when not invited and lick her. I never leave them alone together which is a task in itself constantly having to move one of them from one room to another.

The dog also hates being left alone, we try and limit this but inevitably he has to be left sometimes. I can hear him barking when I leave the house and return. The neighbour has commented about it as well but so far isn't complaining. I also feel an immense amount and of guilt when I'm going because I know he hates it. He evens barks when we go to bed at night but will settle after about 5mins.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I would like to rehome but my partner is very against this. I feel he needs more attention then we can currently give him and needs somewhere without a baby. He's only a small dog but I worry what he could potential do. Does anyone know how easy it is to get him into rehoming charity?

Thanks

He needs more exercise. Our JRT gets an hour morning and another hour later afternoon. Both sessions include off the lead play with a ball and running around with other dogs

@GreatDuckCookery because dogs do harm babies/children and I doubt the dogs owners expected them to and my dog has an aggressive nature.

I will give the Kong a try and looking into flyballing, I'm not sure what that is.

@joystir59 we can't let him off lead because of his reactive ness, I wish we could. We do take him to a secure field at weekends.

Also he is fine with other dogs in a controlled environment, he spent a week with a boarder and about eight other dogs big and small. I can't understand it at all.

I know that dogs can harm children but your dog isn't showing any signs of aggression towards your baby. And surely you knew that before buying him?

That is nowhere near enough exercise. Especially if most of it is onlead.
Why on earth is he getting so little?!

We have finally decided to get a professional trainer in. Should have done so ages ago. Perhaps you should think about this OP?

Ours is pretty good with other dogs, he is much more aggressive with people

That’s not much walking. I’d take him with the pram and start working on that first. What does he actually do when near the baby? Just sniff/lick her? Whenever I’ve introduced my babies to my dogs I’ve allowed them to do that a few times and never scold the dog for going too close to the baby (as long as I’m near) as I think it creates some jealously.

If he is only being walked on the lead he knows at least a solid hour of it plus mental exercise when back at home (we make him stay and hide his toy for him to find on the 'where is it command'

@GreatDuckCookery the baby came nearly 2years after the dog, why does no way grasp that life doesn't always work out to plan. We did not know when getting the dog we would have a baby further down the line.

He usually does get much more walks but that is worse case scenario.

Thanks for all the suggestions, I will see what we can do.

My dog is reactive too so I feel your pain, barks a lot, although that is part of her breed (not aggressive when she gets to her target), that and the seperation anxiety sounds like you have a very unconfident little dog, unsure of his place in the world or what he's supposed to do, how he's supposed to act. It's a scary world being unconfident and yet feeling like you have to protect as well. Especially if your owner is not very confident with you either. Mine is better with my DH, he is def pack leader, so she doesn't feel like she has to worry so much with him (because as a member of the pack, I clearly can't look after myself). I think you need to have a few sessions with a good trainer who can show you how to help guide him and give him the confidence that all is well with the world.

Do you actually like the dog and get any joy or pleasure from having him in your life?

The dog is not getting enough exercise. The walks should be for longer.

No life does not always work out to plan but the amount of people who get a cat or dog and then get rid once baby comes along makes me sick. If you thought there was any chance you would have a child you should not have got a dog. DOGS ARE FOR LIFE NOT UNTIL A BABY IS BORN

I would try and treat this as basically having two children. Both need your time and the one who is established needs to adjust to the new set up. I would seek professional help to see what input they can give. I can see why you might worry, esp with a JRT, but the dog is your responsibility and you need to find a way to help him adjust. It sounds like he’s very much been the baby rather than the dog, please give him the chance to adjust. Can you try baby wearing to help you keep them sepetate and maybe the dog will accept the baby as an extension of you

I know I will get flamed for this but if you are still reading this, I’d rehome. The safety of your baby needs to be your priority and what is currently happening isn’t fair on the dog either.

Yes you get flamed for that comment Everyone as there has been no mention of any threat of danger from the dog to the baby. You don't just get rid of a family pet because you have a baby and maybe finding it tough.

The OP is seems to be worried about her baby though and I’d say she knows the dog best. The dog may be fine, but from what’s been said neither the owner or the dog seem happy.

The OP hasn't said anything that jumps out that the dog is a threat. He was unsettled when baby came home but that soon stopped, he's also good with other children. To me this seems to be more like that a new mum is finding it hard to look after a dog and a baby and thinks it will be easier once the dog has gone.

I agree but she doesn’t seem to be enjoying the dog and the dog doesn’t seem happy either.

OP if DH is keen to keep the dog, can he do more exercise and training?

That isn't a reason to get rid of him though. When we buy a dog or any other animal there's a commitment to care for it forever. It's not fair to give up on them because our circumstances change unless there's a very good reason!

Sounds like a typical scenario. Dog is mums baby until a human baby comes along and then poor dog is neglected in favour of baby.

If your dog was 2 years old when baby can’t along and you only had dog to give your time and attention to how is it reactive?

You say it’s fine with children, dogs and people. In what way is it reactive?

Anyway it seems you no longer have time or enthusiasm for the dog. It would be best for dog to be rehomed with owners who have the time and inclination to meet its needs rather than be shut away from the rest of the family

Course I like the dog, he's great and such an adorable thing.

I feel so guilty leaving him at home, I've just had to come out for an appointment and he was shaking badly. I really feel bad for him. I left him treats but they usually go untouched, put his thunder shirt on and a put a plug in in.

Yes it is a struggle coping with both I'm not disputing that at all as both require attention.

If I wanted to just rehome him I would of done so rather than coming on him, I wanted advice and I want to see my dog happy.

OP can you afford to see a behaviourist? It sounds like whatever you've done so far isn't working and that you need some professional help to get to the root of his needs.

Could DH do more of the training and exercise?