to be upset about DH spending £500 on a stag do when I can hardly afford to feed us all

[oopset]

Grrr. I am really upset about this, although I can see where DH is coming from. DH is being best man at his bf's wedding in August. His bf announced yesterday that they were going to London for a stag weekend, Friday to Monday, that's 3 nights in a hotel, plus spending money. DH bless him said he could travel down on the Saturday and go back on the Sunday because he couldn't get time off work. He even asked if I wanted to come and stay in the hotle while he went out to the lapdancing place. Now this really upset me. I have 3 young children including a small baby, I feel vulnerable right now and the last thing I want to do is be holed up in a hotel with 3 under 4 1/2, breastfeeding and entertaining while he goes out on the razzle.
We are not having a family holiday this year because we can't afford. We are really strapped for cash and I am cleaning/ebaying and doin what I can to scrape together money for extras such as shorts for kids etc.

DH says he HAS to go because it is his best friend and he is best man, I do understand this. FWIW I haven't been asked about a hen do.

I am crying about this now, this has upset me so much. Is this unreasonable? I really don't know what to say to DH.

I thought stag nights were meant to be organised by the best man. So your dh's bf shouldn't be dictating what happens anyway.

If bf really wants him there, he could pay for him to go. After all he doesn't have children so probably has far more disposable income than your dh.

Your dh should tell him bf (who would understand if he is truly a friend) that shelling out £500 means that his children won't be able to eat for the next 5 weeks. If his bf is OK with that, he isn't a friend at all.

Alternatively, your dh could resign from his role as best man.

Yes, in theory the best man traditionally orgnaises all the details of a grooms stag night and the groom should not know any real details of it until the night.

Ask you DH why it wasn't him doing the organising, then tell him that he should do the decent thing and not go.

My dh is going to be a best man next year. he is going to help organise the stag do but not do it all himself. This is because the groom has set ideas about what he wants. It would be awful if dh slaved away organising something the groom didn't like.

but that's the whole point:

a stag do is where the groom's mates surprise him for his last night of ahem 'freedom'.

it's supposed to be a surprise - not a planned weekend away!

i think your hubby should do the honorable thing and either step down or say i'll come out with you for a drink, but there's no way i'm burning £500 in london on shite!