Firstly apologies for any typos, I am on my phone and shaking with anger. I’ll try to keep it short.
DPs mother is pretty much a liability. Never around, never calling to see how he is and extremely self cantered. Tbh I think she is a bit unwell so I have so tried to be reasonable and offer her help. She is obsessed with having a man in her life and when she has one DP won’t hear from her for weeks on end, until she is too much for whatever man she is with and he blocks her and she goes into a mental state and needs my DP to “help her” crying and begging him to contact the man in question for “answers”. She has been known to beg my DP and call him 30+ times to come over while he is at work.
We are expecting our first child his mother never calls to ask how we are getting on and has absolutely 0 interest in her upcoming grandson.
My mum has kindly given us £10,000 to see us though our first year rent etc I will pay her back. DP Mum however has constantly asked him for money. She never pays him back. It’ his wage but IMO the priority should be to give my mum a gesture ? Maybe I am wrong ?
Anyway, this morning DPs mother has called and said she needs money now and if he doesn’t give it to her don’t bother speaking to her again. I am in shock and very upset for DP. She has even gone so far to say that it’s his fault she needs the money because he moved out and she can’t pay rent. AIBU to message her this:
“I have just heard from (DP) about the situation of money. As you know we are expecting a baby and my mum is putting up thousands of pounds to secure us rent for the year I am not working. we simply have no spare money. To say you won’t speak to your son if he doesn’t give you more money is ridiculous and I am honestly shocked that you would treat him like this. It is not his fault you need to make rent, he is an adult and entitled to move out. Rent your spare room out, my Mum had to do it when she fell on hard times. DP and me need to pay my mum back some for the £10,000 my mum has kindly given us to take the stress of DP's wage and that’s the priority here, as welll as our forthcoming child. Contact citizens advice for help. I am sorry if you find my message rude but I simply can’t understand your logic and am devastated for (DP) in this situation so had to say something. I understand you can’t help us with our baby but to ask (threaten in this case) for more is terrible in my opinion”
To be clear, I am not suggesting she feel bad that my mum is in the position to help (to be honest my mum isn’t actually made of money I will just make sure to pay her back every penny).
What would you do?
- [NB: Posted edited by MNHQ to remove DP's name]