To think innocent until proven guilty even at school?

[PurplePenguins]

There's 2 parts to my post really. Both annoy me but AIBU?

1. My DS3 is 15yo and very quiet and shy. A boy at his school was attacked in the playground (not badly so as to call the police). He accused my DS3 of the assault. I didn't believe him. It's not DS3 nature and the size difference would make it impossible (DS3 being a lot lighter and shorter). Anyway, DS3 was to spend the day in isolation while the school investigated. It took 3 days to watch the CCTV!!!! They discovered that it wasn't DS3 who attacked the boy in fact DS3 was the other side of the school grounds at the time so DS3 has spent 3 days in isolation for no reason. He has not even had an apology from anyone.
2. During his time in isolation, he has missed all breaks including lunch. DS3 wears braces (so no sugary foods or drinks) and is dairy intolerant. He has not been allowed a proper school dinner, but has been offered either a jam or cheese sandwich for which I have been charged £2.60 even though DS3 refused both. The school has a no packed lunch policy, saying they can cater for all dietary requirements. I wasn't told about the lunch arrangements when I was told about isolation. When I complained, the response was, in a nut shell all.students are treated equally and if DS3 doesn't want to eat that is up to him. AIBU to feel annoyed and feel as though they may have been treating him as though he was the one in the wrong?

(Sorry if I'm rambling)

I think an apology would be good but tbh the teachers are busy enough.

Sorry I missed a bit. The accusation was DS3 had punched the boy repeatedly in the stomach and then pinned him against the wall by his throat so that his feet left the floor. (DS3 is a lot lighter and a fair bit shorter)

Yanbu. I would complain loudly until they apologise.

I think 3 days to check the CCTV is very unreasonable and had I been the mother of the child who was attacked I would be pretty pissed off.

Your son does deserve an apology. Also why no proper lunch? Just because they're in isolation? That doesn't make sense.

You need to sort this asap, 3 days is not good enough. I would want an apology for my dc.

That’s pretty rubbish but you have to remember teachers are not investigators by trade.

Firstly, treated equally does not mean being treated the same.

Three days in isolation before looling at the cctv is appalling.

They offered your dairy intolerant son a cheese sandwich? And I know a lot of parents who don't give their kids jam due to the sugar content (just like they'd refuse chocolate spreads etc). Ask for the schools complaint procedure and go through it. Three days to investigate a violent attack in another pupil is not on, and wrongly punishing your child and giving him unhealthy meal options whilst doing so is really poor of the school. If their attitude afterwards had been different then maybe I would let it go, but they're acting really arrogantly about it all so you should push for them to realise and apologise to your son, and refund you the lunch charge!

I think isolation whilst they investigate an assault is fair enough really - but the investigation should be fast - half a day at most. 3 days in isolation, no food, no apology is unacceptable.

Can I ask why you waited 3 days before contacting the school? Were they not in contact with you throughout?

I would be expecting an apology to my and my son. I would also be demanding a refund. I know it’s not much money but it’s the principle.

I don’t give a shiny shit about how busy the teachers are in this case. We teach our children that’s it’s ok to make mistakes, it’s ok to be wrong, it’s how you handle yourself after those mistakes. We teach them that if they have done something wrong they apologise. Why shouldn’t the school or at least the people involved admit they were wrong.

I would not let this lie.

Couldn't you have given him a packed lunch

That’s really appalling. I’d be putting a complaint in writing to the head and asking how are they going to apologise to your ds.

If you are dairy intolerant any sandwich made w margarine is off the menu (I assume).

I have no idea why no proper lunch skittlesss. I know I'm primary but I take all the children who are not allowed out in the playground, into the dinner hall, get their lunches and they come back to the reflection room to eat. I don't see why DSs school can't do similar.

I would take that further. Totally unacceptable.

No scabbersley. There is a not packed lunch policy.

He avoids all butter and margarine when not at home Barbarian just in case. The school no this. They also know he can't have jam or similar at the minute because of his braces.

3 days to watch CCTV after a serious assault is ridiculous. Should have been the HT's top priority. And punishing your ds before finding out what had happened is also ridiculous - especially if he is generally a good kid with no history of fighting. The lunches is also crap.

I've just had an email. According to the head, DS3 "was offered a cheese, jam or tuna mayo sandwich, which he declined. Our policy is that all students who have been sent to the duty room do not mixed with the general population...Students are only permitted to eat in the dining hall so our policy food is not to leave the dining hall." 😠

That is appalling! I'd be furious!!!!!!!!

Yanbu. Complain to the head and governors.

DS3 has spent 3 days in isolation for no reason. He has not even had an apology from anyone
I think that's very bad

3 days is ridiculous, especially when it only took 2 hours to view CCTV when DS2 and friends set off fire extinguishers to skate down the corridor.

Email them back to say
“Thanks for your response. I will respond further following legal advice and discussion with ofsted.”

See what the fuckers say then.

That is shocking, yanbu.

What has happened to the boy who lied?