To not let him visit me in hospital

[Needsleepnow87]

Bored as baby asleep next to me. I gave birth yesterday via emergency c section. Have catheter in and trying to breastfeed.

My mum wants to come visit me in hospital tomorrow and wants to bring her DP (I’m not particularly keen on him). He also wants to meet the baby.

I told my mum she could come but not her DP.

1. I would like my own DP to meet my baby before him.

1. I’m a complete mess and will probably need to get my boobs out during the visit.

He’s apparently thrown a huge tantrum to the point where my mum and him have fallen out. He’s acting like a child.

AIBU?

I have always found it weird that people expect to visit you in the hospital after childbirth.

I have 3 DCs and each time have had to stay in for a few nights. I have never had anyone other than DH in the hospital.

You are in your nightclothes, getting the hand of breastfeeding which is never very elegant, plus you are wearing a glorified nappy and bleeding quite profusely.

Couldn't think of anything I would like to do less than make small talk!

If you want people to visit then of course you should have them but coming in when you are vulnerable is not a right anyone has.

I can’t believe he’s being such an idiot. You are so not being unreasonable. Congratulations on the birth of your baby 💐💐💐

You are doing your mother a favour by refusing to allow her partner to visit. he has learned something about him that she didn't know before.
Congratulations on your baby.

I hate how selfish people are after you have a baby! I've recently gave birth and find people don't really care about the mum just about them wanting to see the nice baby. Yanbu!!!! You've just had surgery, I doubt he would be so desperate to come down if you had another type of surgery. I don't blame you not wanting him there, giving birth is undignified enough without feeling forced to see people. Just ignore him and tell your mum you don't want to know anymore about what he thinks

Congratulations

Tell the ward staff not to let him in.

Right now, you need your Mum.

What an inconsiderate prick. I don't know any man who would be that desperate to go and see a new baby apart from the dad, grandad, uncle. My friend just had a baby and my DH is glad all is well but he'll see her when he sees her. He's using this as an excuse to have a strop with your mum. I hope she gets well rid.
Congrats on your newborn. Don't give in and take time to get settled with your baby

Is he upset that he cant see you, or is he upset that your mum will be going somewhere and talking to someone without him there to oversee?

It's not your fault your mum is with a weird manchild. This is the last thing you need!
YaNbu.

Please don't waste time feeling guilty about his unreasonable reaction.
He's a tantruming man, and hopefully this will have him realise that acting like a silky toddler doesn't have the required effect.