Please read if you use Facebook

[RoloAddict]

So this week we had a new IT manager start in our department at work. Met him for the first time yesterday.. Today was called into a meeting with him along with other staff. He then proceeded to reveal that he'd taken a look at each of our Facebook profiles the previous evening. What he revealed about mine was shocking . By using my Facebook profile and nothing else but good old Google (he proved this by showing us how he did it) he had managed to find out..

My full address including house number!
My DHs full name
My maiden name
Our wedding date
My Dd's names, dates of birth and the sports club they attend.
My stepdaughters name and the school she attended
That I have a stepson.

Needless to say I was horrified. This man was a virtual stranger. We had no mutual friends and I'd never met him until yesterday. I've obviously changed my privacy settings entirely since then. Before I just assumed they were set so that only friends could view them. Can I PLEASE remind and encourage all of you (plus family and friends) to check your settings throughly. We were lucky this time that the person in question didn't mean us harm but it's been a huge wake up call.

Sounds like you had a totally public profile. No privacy settings locked down at all.

Go through all of your settings and change each of them to the most private possible.

Also, review your settings every so often. I have known major FB updates seem to amend things occasionally. Always worth a look.

What you mention about your manager being able to retrieve (from Facebook or elsewhere) your maiden name etc. is interesting but not entirely surprising, but it does mean you can't use those "security questions" that sites use, of the type "Mother's maiden name" etc. as they were initially intended. It was good that your manager showed you the flaw, and that you did not learn about it from an online hacker perhaps impersonating one or more of your friends, luring you into sending them money or maybe luring you into clicking on a link sending a cryptolocker virus (ransomware) onto your computer.

It takes very little to identify a person. I've so far posted just three or four posts on mumsnet under this username and those few posts, together with perhaps my next post, will probably be enough for someone knowledgeable to ID me here on mumsnet.

He could have done most of that using public records, it's not just a facebook thing.

Birth, marriage and death records are on line. If he knows your name he can find your marriage details and your birth. And the births of any children and any previous marriages.

You are on the electoral roll, unless you ticked the privacy box - he can get your address from that. Or if you are in the phone book.

Local newspapers online have search features - if he put in your name he could get details from that.

Don't worry about facebook when everything is already out there.

IT security is a significant focus of attention with GDPR coming in, only 100 days to go. The only thing I would say re your IT manager was he missed the opportunity to talk about it in the context of GDPR. It's amazing how little the average person understands about the new legislation and how it affects every living person, family, friends, dependents.

OP all credit to you for taking it seriously but don't think you're doing people a favour on here by highlighting it. The people who "get it" already have good internet security. Those who think the IT manager is a dick don't understand all the implications of these tiny fragments of information which could have a real impact on their life opportunities. They'll be the losers for not thanking you for discussing it.

Don't worry about facebook when everything is already out there

I completely disagree! Facebook can easily add extra layers of data to what is available through official records

If you value your privacy, take every social media platform very seriously.

Well done to him for showing you how much information you share with the world.

The maiden name thing is a complete red herring as lots of people never changed it in the first place. And yes I’m surprised you’re surprised. My FB is totally locked down and I never put personal info on Twitter or Instagram which are arguably more open, but I still don’t kid myself that my info is private.

There was a quote in a TV show a couple of years ago (Grace and frankie if you’re interested!)

I’m an amateur sleuth with limited self control and a computer

That totally sums me up and lots of others too. I’m harmless, some others aren’t. So while I use social media extensively and accept that the info is out there, I always have a mind to it.

No, they want my mother's maiden name, not mine.

Do you have children? How old are they and when will they be using internet banking?

One of the reasons I don't do Facebook. I work in public service and I don't want to upset people by not being their friend which I don't feel is appropriate.

However, a few years ago I phoned my sister to tell her I was really unhappy with our niece . Despite not having an account I could see her account, her house and she had actually put the name of the town. Her children's photos including some half naked ones ( obviously a hot day) and some bath time ones when little. I said to her if anyone thinking about snatching a child or a pedophile could use the photo or look for those children as the area is quite identifying. My sister denied that my IT savvy niece had been that stupid until I said go have a look and ring me back. I had a very apologetic phone call back and she was off around there. She now has a private account. I had typed niece's name in as she had won a competition and that is how I found out.

I would hope most people know this already. That info didn't all come from Facebook though. Anyone can get your address etc from the electoral roll but so what?

So if I had a public profile and bandied around my maiden name

You don't have to 'bandy it around' though do you? You just have to have got married since you started your FB account (some of which people have had for many years). The date you changed your name will be on your profile.

I can't believe anybody would assume it's all private and you opt out of your profile being private.

Bowerbird5 ahahahaahaha find me one example where someone has identified a child from a pic of them in the bath and snatched them...Just one. In return I'll send you 50 examples of a parent abusing a child!

There was a great thing on TV (cant remember which show) where they had a pretend coffee shop, got people to like them on FB to get a free coffee, and by the time they served the coffee 2 mins later, they wrote all the stuff they'd managed to find out about them online on the cup. People were pretty shocked.

My DHs twat of an ex used one of my profile pics in an online slander campaign. Needless to say she had the police knocking at her door. Facebook were crap (even when the police contacted them) so be aware they probably won't help if someone uses your details.

My profile is well locked down but didn't prevent this. Hasn't stopped me using FB though but I do see a lot of people splurging on it without thinking.

My Facebook profile is completely locked down and nothing goes out on any social media platform that I wouldn’t want people to know. I also review settings regularly because they can change.

But I think it’s a bit off that an IT person rifled through people’s history without their permission. I think people should have been given the choice to opt out of it. That’s not what work is for. Unless you work in IT security.

I am well aware of parents abusing children. I have been trained years ago and have read some quite shocking things.
I am not talking about the bath photos regarding snatching there was photos outside the house hence the " ( obviously a hot day) " they were out playing. The area was very identifying. There had been an attempted snatch in that area a few months previously. To me it is still something people should consider when posting photos of children.
Never say never as parents of snatched children would agree. Shame you find it so funny!

Few things - an IT manager at work has no business AT ALL to be snooping through people's personal social media accounts and it's not his job at all to be a cyber warrior telling people to tighten their security on facebook. He needs to concentrate on his actual work and mind his own fucking business - I would be very cross if someone pulled this trick on me - how DARE he??

Anyway. There's lots about me online and it's easy to find as my first name plus surname combination is unique. I'm on the electoral role, and I'm well aware that birth/marriage/death records are publically accessible if you know where to look - easy to find out DH's name and when/where we got married.

To be perfectly honest I couldn't care less if people see bits and pieces about me online. I know about internet security, I know about scams and I understand about privacy settings.

I think the problem with Facebook - and possibly what has done for the op rather than privacy settings - is it actively encourages you to share this stuff. Op could have put all that info on in her profile using the significant moments in history or by adding her husband as a friend and putting what relationship he is to her. She could have decent privacy settings but all this info will be available to whoever looks her up. I notice they even prompt you with questions now about your likes and dislikes and things you're interested in - again appearing under your profile picture even if people can't access your actual profile.

It's a bit like on here when people start a thread asking about identifying info - how many kids does everyone have? Where in the UK are you all? People unthinkingly go on and chat on those threads when they'd probably never just start a thread telling everyone all their personal info!

I just find it easier not to have any information posted online. That way nobody can do anything, even if they should want to. I periodically pay for a scan of the internet, and thus far, the only thing that comes up is a name, street name and age bracket (this doesn't worry me, as I have a ridiculously common name, I hate it most of the time, but for security purposes it's useful) that pops up on that 192.com or whatever it's called. My Facebook is locked down, only two photos are visible (my current profile and cover photos, both non-identifying), I'm not part of any groups specific to my local area, or any parenting groups. I don't have any other social media profiles, I do the bare minimum of bill paying, shopping etc online, and I never give photo consent for DS, so no unexpected images crop up on public pages from places we go.
I have to be careful, I have a dodgy ex who periodically decides to try and track me down again, I'm doing everything within my power to stay away from him, and shield the fact that I now have a son from him. Thus far, as far as I can tell, I've been successful.

*Classic, well known security question for banks and great for scammers to know

No, they want my mother's maiden name, not mine.
Bookmark*

Maiden names are easily found from searching birth records. I’ve never used my mother’s actual maiden name as a security answer..I just picked a name that I liked at random and use that (going back at least 30 years). One of the security questions on my bank stuff was “name of your primary school”...obviously most of the people I know would know the answer to that so I use the name of a different school..simple.

Name, address, children, DH all easily findable from public records...no need for social media to find that information and if you're sensible that info is no danger to you.

If your name is Smith and you post on Facebook "Happy Birthday to my Granny Mary Jones" or "RIP my dear Uncle Bob Jackson" there's a good chance you have just revealed your mother's maiden name. That's the most common security question.

Facebook makes you put in your birthday - I have a fake one and NOT ONE PERSON I know doesn't think I am mad. Another security question.

It encourages you to put in all the schools you went to. Yet another security question.

Not to mention all the "What's your porn star name? Just use the name of your first pet and the name of the first street you lived in" little jokes that go round. Another 2 common security questions right there.

I reckon you could get all the answers to my internet banking security questions from Facebook - that is if I were stupid enough to put in all the details that just about everyone else I know puts on.

And what would someone do with the date of your marriage? :s meh. My profile is private.

To be honest if you had set your security settings appropriately he wouldn't have been able to get any of that. I would hope most people are a little more clued up about Facebook, but maybe not! I always find it amazing when people have hundreds of 'friends' on there who are people they don't even know.

Why are you using your real name on Facebook?

I use an alias, a fake birthday, interestingly fabricated job title and a photograph of shrubbery for my profile picture.

GRO will give maiden name, approximate birth dates for dc etc- they are public records

Never ever use your real name or usual email address for Facebook

I made the mistake of giving Facebook my phone number and now I occasionally receive calls for my alias name... which when I point out ( think Scott Edge) the cold callers hang up 🤪

I use fb but very rarely post and if i do it is mainly just to check in somewhere after i have been or tag friends in silly memes. Never actually write out a post or have any info/photos on there. My name and thats about it.