to not post picture of baby play date

[Pokemonlovepower]

So my baby had a playdate with a couple of babies last week and I took some really cute photos of the afternoon. I sent them to the other mums who were the delighted at the photos!
So yesterday I was casually hanging out with friend and was cropping the other babies out of a photo to post on Instagram ( so only my baby would be in the picture, showing off her cute new outfit). My friend couldn't understand why I was doing this and thought I was being paranoid /OTT to not include the other babies. In my mind it's not my place to post photos of other peoples children on a social network platform. Was I being unreasonable ?? X

YANBU, I don't want pictures of my dc on social media. I don't put them on, I don't want anyone else to do it either. I wouldn't dream of putting pictures of else's dc on fb.

Yanbu.
I haven’t had my baby yet but we won’t be sharing any pictures online and I would be annoyed if someone else did.
I haven’t shared my pregnancy online either. Each to their own but I like my life private.

YANBU I actually barely use SM now for photos of my own DD and I do not post photo's of others peoples children without first getting their express permission. One mum posts all the time and never asks, I don't like it and have changed my FB settings so she can't even tag me in these photos without my permission - she also posts photos of all the school things they do despite school having a very strict SM ban - somehow she gets away with it though - no idea how

I don't put any picture of my children on SM. Somebody put a picture up of my child (and tagged me) once and was quite snarky when I asked her to remove it. I have my reasons for not wanting pictures of my children posted and that is my choice to make regardless of whether others agree.

I honestly don't get why so many people feel the need to post so much of their daily lives on SM, one of my friends even posts pictures of her dinner sometimes!

she also posts photos of all the school things they do despite school having a very strict SM ban

I would report this to the school. She could unwittingly be placing a child in danger. At my child's school there is a pupil that has to be removed before even school take a class photo.

I’d be really grateful if you had thought ahead to do this to be honest. I’m a childminder and so many of my friends struggle to understand that I cannot allow them to take photos of my mindees when we are on days out or having play dates. I don’t understand why there has to be ‘proof’ of something happening in order to have had a good time. Photos are great to look back on, but why do you need to share pictures on your Facebook of children who no one knows?

You are right.

Yanbu

If you think the other mums wouldn't like it then of course you were reasonable.

I have posted pictures of my kids and their friends, but only if their mothers are close friends of mine and post pictures of their kids to sm anyway.

Someone I know put every photo that her son took at scout camp on her facebook page... including bunkhouse shots with the boys getting changed. I was like WTF? (Mind you, she also got naked feather boa and necklace shots of her DD taken when she was a toddler - ewww - so I don't think she has the same boundaries as other people.)

The pictures lasted about 24 hours and were then taken down followed by radio silence for weeks. I think she had probably had a thorough telling off by all the boys' parents.

correctpiece I really,really hope I have understood what you said about the feather boas and toddler wrong because that really seems beyond wrong if it's the way I read it.

You know of literally nobody who would mind a picture of their sweet baby on SM? I am very open about DS being adopted and luckily my friends, nursery and family are intelligent enough to understand that if they posted a picture of my baby, especially with any form of location marker, he could be in grave danger.

Yes, I know nobody. I have been sitting here thinking of every child I know who I might conceivably post a picture of on SM (because they have attended a birthday party for my child or similar) and every child I can think of has parents who happily post images of their kids on their SM accounts. Maybe we are all just really, really relaxed people with a lot of relatives and friends living overseas (actually, this is a standard stereotype of people from my country.)

As for adoptions, the laws must be extremely different where you are, as in my country, you cannot adopt a child without the full agreement of the birth parents. The adopted people I know all know who at least their birth mother is and most of them have some form of ongoing relationship with their birth parents. I have never heard of a post-adoption snatching. Frankly it seems like an alarming system that allows children to be adopted without the apparent agreement of the birth parents. Fostering, certainly, I can understand that, but adoption? I don't really understand how that's legal.

Obviously I understand (as noted in my first post) that some people don't want their children on social media. However Mumsnet is the only place I have seen this. In real life I don't know anyone paranoid enough to think that Eastern European paedophiles may be trolling their Facebook page to steal photos of schoolchildren with a cake and silly hats on to use as wank fodder.

I crop or ask permission and my DD is 16!

As PP have said, you don’t know what the family situation is so it’s far better to be aafe than sorry.

SchoolMoney It was (quite a few years ago now) a fad to get professional baby pictures, the boys in top hats and bowties, the girls in feather boas, jewellery, but wearing nothing else. The resulting pictures were awful imo. No genitals were shown but they were so, well, just nasty.

Y WNBU.

Wow, didn't know paedophiles were all Eastern European.

Re adoption. I don't know what country you are from, but surely there must be situations where children are removed by the authorities because they have been abused or there are issues with substance abuse for example?

YANBU. I never put pictures of my dd on any sm. I would not be happy if others posted pics of her either. I never post pics of my nieces and nephews even though their parents do. It's their place to pick what ends up on the internet (until their children are much older to choose themselves!).

shameless some children are removed from the parents due to unsafe situations. Those children have to stay anonymous.

ShamelesslyPlacemarking it's not just about paedoparanoia. Haven't you ever heard anyone warn others to be careful what they post online, how those university party pictures could come back to haunt them when they apply for a job 10 years later, etc.? Well imagine what it will be like for this generation when they apply for a job and have 20 years of pictures from their entire life online published by their parents, their parents' friends, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.

I'm very, very relaxed and I live in a different to all my old friends and family. I share pictures with them on whatsapp, so that there's no permanent record. I'll let my kids decide for themselves what to put online when they're older and better informed. It's not a big deal, I just don't see the need to put them on social media, and who knows what the future may bring. What if my son becomes prime minister (heaven forbid)? He may not want journos going through pictures of him in a nappy with yoghurt in his hair!

Re adoption. I don't know what country you are from, but surely there must be situations where children are removed by the authorities because they have been abused or there are issues with substance abuse for example?

Yes, that's a fostering or temporary care situation. If the parents still want their children (which most people do, bad parents are not usually bad people, just people making bad choices or struggling) then social services work with them long-term to the point where their children can be safely returned to them. In extreme cases, the children may be placed with extended family or friends. It never happens that children are taken from parents who still want them and given permanently to strangers without the parents' consent. If I were in your country, obviously I wouldn't post photos of adopted children.

imagine what it will be like for this generation when they apply for a job and have 20 years of pictures from their entire life online published by their parents, their parents' friends, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.

What if my son becomes prime minister (heaven forbid)? He may not want journos going through pictures of him in a nappy with yoghurt in his hair!

As an employer, I will have a look at potential employees' current social media accounts to see if they have posted anything alarming in recent history. I have no time or interest in trawling through their friends or parents' friends (?!) social media accounts from the last 20 years to see if I can find something vaguely incriminating.

I also doubt that journos are going to bother going back through 30-40 years of someone's mum's social media posts to see if they can find a nappy-and-yoghurt shot of a future prime-minister, but if you really believe that's possible, you could just lock down your social media account.

I'm obviously not saying that people HAVE to post photos of their children. If you want to let your kids decide, fine. I just think the "What if" scenarios that are usually put forward to shame parents who do post SM photos of their kids are wildly improbable.

correctpiece Wow....I like my sheltered existence sometimes...

Shameless I think every adopted child I know has been adopted against the birth families' wishes (and I know a fair few, being an adopted mum and involved with children in care in a professional capacity too). Yes, the authorities do give birth families support and 'chances' but when that still fails to stop the parents from putting their needs before their children's, then they have to be removed. My son was 'lucky' as he was placed in care before he could be harmed (none of the extended family were allowed to have him due to their own lifestyle choices and criminal records); sadly the same cant be said for his siblings.

I know our son's both family are not a million miles away and they would have no hesitation in coming to 'find' him if they had a clue where he was. They are incredibly dangerous people. That's why we have had to alter his name. I have friends whose adopted children are at risk because birth families have managed to get people looking even when they themselves are behind bars!

*birth

YANBU at all, I don't post pictures of my children on SM for safety reasons, I have no wish to discuss our personal situation with anyone or be gossiped about in the school playground so unless people have to know they don't. It's general common sense and courtesy not to put pictures of other children on SM, no matter how well you think you know the family.

It depends. If you don't know that the other parents wouldn't mind then it's sensible to crop it. I've never known anyone in rl in my circle mind though and we tag each other in photos of our kids all the time.