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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not post picture of baby play date

79 replies

Pokemonlovepower · 20/02/2018 08:40

So my baby had a playdate with a couple of babies last week and I took some really cute photos of the afternoon. I sent them to the other mums who were the delighted at the photos!
So yesterday I was casually hanging out with friend and was cropping the other babies out of a photo to post on Instagram ( so only my baby would be in the picture, showing off her cute new outfit). My friend couldn't understand why I was doing this and thought I was being paranoid /OTT to not include the other babies. In my mind it's not my place to post photos of other peoples children on a social network platform. Was I being unreasonable ?? X

OP posts:
lookingforthecorkscrew · 20/02/2018 09:31

I always crop other people's' kids out of social media pics, or I ask permission to post. My Instagram and FB are both protected too.

MadMags · 20/02/2018 09:32

I am not sure why people feel the need to post pictures of their Dcs on SM at all, why not just email/text to friends/ GPs who would appreciate them.

Why would you have anyone other than friends/family on your SM accounts?

I have a work SM account and nothing about my dc goes on there.

My personal one is for sharing things with family and friends who live in other countries etc.

rachrach2 · 20/02/2018 09:32

I normally just ask the other parents first, especially if they rarely post themselves. I have no problem with my friends posting photos of them. You definitely weren't doing anything wrong cropping the photos though.

Queenofthestress · 20/02/2018 09:34

I crop out other people's kids too, and every one else crops out my ds and dd unless their profile is in lockdown, purely because my ex-dps mother is batshit. Only my family are allowed to post pictures of the kids and they've all got her and her friends blocked

Aworldofmyown · 20/02/2018 09:35

YANBU. I wouldn't have a problem with my friends posting pictures on Instagram or Facebook. But some people do so its always best to err on the side of caution!

LittleLionMansMummy · 20/02/2018 09:36

It wouldn't bother me if someone i knew well posted pics of my dc in the same photo as theirs, but I'd appreciate the sentiment of being asked first. I think what you did was entirely appropriate and reasonable and I would always either do the same or ask their permission first.

I do get annoyed when pics I've shared on my own timeline then get shared by others, when I don't know their friends and haven't been asked permission. My aunt and sister's mil have done this, even though they weren't in the photos. I guess there must be a way of changing my settings though so they can't do this any more.

Rufus27 · 20/02/2018 09:37

ShamelesslyPacemarking
You know of literally nobody who would mind a picture of their sweet baby on SM? I am very open about DS being adopted and luckily my friends, nursery and family are intelligent enough to understand that if they posted a picture of my baby, especially with any form of location marker, he could be in grave danger. However, many mums of adopted children (or mums fleeing from DA) are less open - your picture of their sweet baby on SM could have terrible implications. This was really drummed into us on adoption training courses and I know, as a teacher, there are children in all schools who would be in danger if their picture was placed on social media.

I know of two families where pictures of their adopted children on SM (taken and posted by people other than the family) have lead to birth families (dangerous members of birth families) being able to track them down - both families have had to relocate.

OP thank you for being considerate. YWNBU.

PeggySueOooOo · 20/02/2018 09:37

I asked permission of the parents of my DC play fellows before posting on social media. Most said yes, some said no - and it wasn't obvious before hand who would be who. I would never post a photo of someone else's child without the parents permission.

NewImprovedNinja · 20/02/2018 09:38

I never post pictures of my DC on social media and would go ape if someone else did so without asking me first.
I'd actually drop the friendship if they did that.

Clandestino · 20/02/2018 09:48

I know of literally nobody who would get upset about having a sweet picture of their baby on a play date posted on SM by a friend.

I'd be pissed off. I even check with my DD who is 8 if it's OK to post a picture of her on FB. I have never posted photos from her birthday parties for example because there were at least ten other kids there and I don't know if their parent want them on FB or not. And I'm not going to be running around with a waiver. I respect everybody's privacy and the right to decide where their pictures will be posted.

wintermonster · 20/02/2018 09:50

I don't ever post pictures of other people's children if I happen to be posting a picture up.

It probably looks like I go to soft play alone and just sit there alone with my baby Grin

Soubriquet · 20/02/2018 09:54

I ask now before I take photos/go to post them.

I've been asked by other parents too so it's always worth asking.

Obviously if it's a no, then I would crop photos, or make sure the other child isn't in the picture

Steeley113 · 20/02/2018 09:57

I always just ask. I’ve never had anyone say no though!

Shutupanddance1 · 20/02/2018 09:57

I stopped going to a certain play center because they posted a picture of my DD every single time she went there, not ok.

I don’t have pictures of my DD on Facebook, I don’t have snapchat and I only put pictures of my DD on Instagram but not of her face, just her back, feet etc.

APontypandyPioneer · 20/02/2018 09:58

YANBU at all, quite the opposite. It is refreshing that some people understand that not everyone wants to have photos of their DCs on social media.

MissDuke · 20/02/2018 10:00

YANBU op, you did good!

Original poster
Pokemonlovepower · 20/02/2018 10:01

SilverBirchTree
Seriously....??? I was asked by the mums to take a photo

OP posts:
bluemoonchances · 20/02/2018 10:02

YANBU if anything good on you for being considerate of the fact that the other mums may not want pics of theirs on social media. I think it shows that you are considerate.

demirose87 · 20/02/2018 10:05

Yanbu, I'd rather someone thought I was being extreme by cropping them out than have another mum have a go at me for putting their child online
It's not my place to put other people's children on social media. Even when I'm out with my kids and taking a pic where there's other kids, I try not to capture any in the background.

wisterialanes · 20/02/2018 10:09

I don't post pics of my own dc on SM so I certainly wouldn't feel right posting ones that weren't mine...

Since when have babies had play dates? Surely is it not a coffee morning type thing for the mums?

Rainatnight · 20/02/2018 10:12

YANBU at all. Wish more people thought like you.

I'm in the same position as Rufus, with an adopted DD (waves to Rufus) and I keep having to remind people on play dates, classes etc. It's very tedious.

WhoAmIReally99 · 20/02/2018 10:13

I've done this, or if its impossible to crop the others out completely I will cover the other faces with a "sticker" so they cannot be recognised.... I have had people (my mil!!!!) make me out to be paranoid and what not.... but its not for me to post other peoples children on fb.

To the people asking why people post photos on social media....My fb is pretty closed down, with family mainly around the world who dont get to see my children often. So that is why I post photos so they can keep in touch and see them growing.

shetookshelter · 20/02/2018 10:17

You were doing the right thing. I don't like people posting pictures of my kids on facebook and if they did I'd ask them to take them down.

Wintertime4 · 20/02/2018 10:31

I do post pictures of mine and other kids on SM. It’s a nice way for family and friends to see them. I only do this if I know their parents post pictures of the kids too, but I don’t ask permission.

However I have settings that mean it’s only my friends who see them, and my profile is not public. So it’s the same as putting them in a dropbox. I think we all need to check our settings on SM. Also be very careful with identifying data like school uniforms.

AliceWhiting · 20/02/2018 10:34

I think you did the right thing, OP. I wouldn't put photos of other people's children (or of other people generally) on SM, and I would be very peeved if they did it to me or mine.