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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Trying for baby after starting new job

59 replies

rosebud15 · 19/02/2018 11:59

Not sure if this is the right place to post but need some blunt opinions please?
Got a 3 year old and OH and I had decided that we would like another when DD is around 3. For various reasons (mainly work) we have put this off and had agreed that when I got offered a permanent contract I would come off the pill and we'd start trying.
I was offered a contract at the beginning of this year and now I feel like I would be letting the company down by getting pregnant.

I know that there are no guarantees I would fall pregnant straight away but it's kind of playing on my mind -on the one hand I'm not getting any younger and feel as a family we are ready for another baby, but I feel bad doing this to the company even though I would definitely be coming back full time afterwards.

So AIBU to come off my pill so soon after starting my this job?

OP posts:
mrsroboto · 20/02/2018 16:46

How is it different? What material difference does it make in terms of the work done etc? Surely the company draws up its mat pay policy as a reflection of what it feels reasonable (e.g. the length of time needed to be employed before eligible for enhanced mat pay)?

Layla8 · 20/02/2018 16:47

This is why women don’t get hired. An accident is one thing, but to do it deliberately seems cheeky. Next time, they’ll hire a man, no good squealing about it when they do.

bananamonkey · 20/02/2018 16:49

But why wouldn't you want to be in a secure position before getting pregnant? The way women are discriminated against when pregnant/returning to work after mat leave means they need to protect themselves, I don't see it as manipulation.

mrsroboto · 20/02/2018 16:51

layla8 and how do you determine which category your colleagues fall into? Do you quiz them about the circumstances of their baby's conception?

Dozer · 20/02/2018 18:52

Am glad lawmakers disagree with layla. Sexist tripe from the 70s.

polkadotpixie · 20/02/2018 19:10

I was trying for a year with no luck, gave up hoping and decided to finally leave a job that was making me unhappy, started my new job and got pregnant 15 days later!

I don't feel guilty, I will only take SMP as I'm planning on a career change after the baby arrives as it turns out I hate my new job more than the last one 😩

TotHappy · 20/02/2018 20:02

It's ridiculous to say you're 'manipulating' or 'deceiving' them. They offered you a package of rewards for working for them, one of which is pay, another is maternity benefits. You are taking what they offered. Fair deal.

rosebud15 · 20/02/2018 20:53

Again thank you for all your responses as this is why I posted - I wanted unbiased opinions although I do feel it is unfair to say I have manipulated them as I am struggling with the position I feel I am in (OH wanting another baby sooner rather than later) and I too feel it is cheeky. I didn't just go for this job for the maternity benefits it comes with there were several reasons I left my previous role but wanting to feel secure was a major part of that as we are also looking at buying our first house. I am anxious about leaving it too long before trying for another child due to my age (late 30's btw) but I am also a decent human being and I love working and I need to work - it's not in my nature to not work. Thank you all you have all given me what I need and I have some serious thinking / talking with OH to do.

OP posts:
rosebud15 · 20/02/2018 21:50

Just to clarify I haven't yet come off the pill and I won't do until I feel 100% comfortable with making that decision which at the moment I am not - which is why I posted.

OP posts:
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