to think DS will be OK?

[waitingappt]

DS is 16 and we found out he's been smoking weed "only at parties" since he was 15 and a half. I am so anxious. I keep fast forwarding into the future and seeing heroin and a stoner and a ruined life.

He claims it's been 4 or 5 times. DH and I are not fools and are open, and understand that teens do all kinds of stuff and turn out OK.

However now it's happened, I've developed a tremendous anxiety that I never had before. I keep thinking he's going to end up down the wrong path. His friends are nice (apart from the weed), he definitely doesn't drink, is training for a half marathon. Just a typical lazy teen.

I am so worried now. He is going to be OK, isn't he?

Yes. It's weed not smack. He'll be fine! Very normal behaviour at his age. Have you sought any help for your anxiety?

tbh weed is no different than going to parties and getting smashed out your face on alcohol, probably less dangerous too and noone bats an eyelid at people drinking.

i dont know anyone who has smoked weed a couple of times then went for heroin

Yes.

Many people have smoked weed in their teens and gone on to be successful. Many people work full time jobs and smoke weed.

Very few people go from having a few joints at parties to heroin addicts.

I never had anxiety before last Friday night!

I just know do many stoners and people from my youth who either dropped out or never got it together because of their weed habit. Am I projecting?

People like to pretend weed is a harmless recreational drug, it isn't.

It is illegal, It may well lead to a criminal record. That will affect job opportunities if convicted. Have a read of the link with findings by the Royal College of Psychiatrists.

There is now sufficient evidence to show that those who use cannabis particularly at a younger age, such as around the age of 15, have a higher than average risk of developing a psychotic illness, such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

What is its legal status in the UK?

Cannabis was re-classified in January 2009 and is now a Class B drug under the Misuse of Drugs Act, 1971.

The maximum penalties are:

For possession: 5 years prison sentence or an unlimited fine, or both
For dealing/supplying:14 year prison sentence or an unlimited fine, or both.

Young people in possession of cannabis

A young person found to be in possession of cannabis will be:

Arrested
Taken to a police station
Given a reprimand, final warning or charge, depending on the offence.

After one reprimand, a further offence will lead to a final warning or charge.

After a final warning:

The young person must be referred to a Youth Offending Team to arrange a rehabilitation programme.
A further offence will lead to a criminal charge. 

www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/problemsanddisorders/cannabis.aspx

Exactly, Holly. This is worrying me a lot also.
I know he's not the first teen to do this, but I am seeing a ruined future.

Also the weed available to my generation is not the same, at least where I am. It's stronger and more synthetic. The mental health aspect really worries me.

I can understand why but I think it’s a bit of an overreaction. Although cannabis is illegal, it won’t screw him up mentally. Now if you said he was using a legal high or something like spice that is a very legitimate voiced concern and that can really mess up mental health.

Very very few people get prosecuted or even caught for cannabis use now unless they're distributing or growing, so no need to panic over a teenager smoking it a few times at a party!

If you're visibly anxious over this he'll feel unable to tell you things in the future so I recommend trying to be calm around him.

In your position I'd send him a link to a page about Spice so he knows to be careful and ensure what he's smoking is actually weed and not a 'synthetic cannabis' such as Spice which has little in common with weed and is a whole other dangerous ball park.

I agree with you and Holly regarding the dangers and mental health. It’s specifically bred and grown to have higher thc than the weed in the past.

Does he understand the risks?

It affects everyone differently:

• I smoked weed a few times as a teenager and am totally fine

• DH smoked weed as a teenager and is totally fine

• My sister smoked weed as a teenager and is still smoking 5+ joints a day aged 29, has no job and lives at home with my parents

• My cousin smoked weed as a teenager and it triggered schizophrenia and a decade in and out of institutions

Of course you are anxious... at the moment you don't know how it's going to impact your ds.

Cannabis was re-classified in January 2009 and is now a Class B drug under the Misuse of Drugs Act, 1971.

The maximum penalties are:

For possession: 5 years prison sentence or an unlimited fine, or both
For dealing/supplying:14 year prison sentence or an unlimited fine, or both.

I have been caught in possession a few times and always been let off. Just a "get yourself home with that" and off I trotted.
In fact I don't know anyone who has had anything more than that said to them.
Most police officers know that stoners are no trouble. They just want to chill out! No one is starting fights and puking in the street with their mini skirt stuck in their knickers. Just want some munchies and a giggle at south park!

I used to work in mental health services - cannabis induced psychosis was very much a "thing" among younger patients - almost exclusively male.

Obviously it's not as simple as early and heavy cannabis use = mental illness. Lots of young people hammer cannabis at a young age and don't end up sectioned on a psychiatric ward. But some do, and the medical notes clearly say "this is a cannabis induced psychosis".

It isn't necessarily a harmless drug. Neither is alcohol of course. But alcohol is legal, cannabis isn't.

It depends is the honest answer.

Weed is similar to alcohol I think, some are ok and some people can appear to be fine and coping but their loved ones know if they really aren’t.

My brother is a wreck after years of religiously smoking weed, he works full time but is mentally unstable. He has two very different personalities now and his ‘normal’ personality only shows when he has had a smoke.

When he hasn’t had one for a while he transforms into a very angry and nasty man.

He wouldn’t be going to any more parties if he was my ds.
My dd, 16, was taken to hospital last night drunk, not for the first time. (Adopted, lots of issues). I worry myself sick about her so I totally understand your anxiety.
Wish I had some answers.

When I met up with old friends at a school reunion I was really offended that they said I was the worst of the potheads in our group. The following day I went to see my best friend since we were 14 ( we went to different schools) and told her how they saw me, I did not remember being so bad. I smoked weed 4-5 times, that's it. She burst out laughing and said that we smoked it everyday for years. She said that from14-19 I was the Cheech to her Chong. So Pot smoked in great amounts deffo causes memory loss......I am also bipolar but I think I may have always been bipolar and I used the weed to self medicate ( I also used lots of booze and cocaine until I was in my early 20s.

BUT. I have a degree, I am doing an MA. I am a good person and haven't messed my kids up too much. I may have gone a little bit down the wrong path but I have always sorted myself out.

I think you need to address your anxiety, I think the weed is a red herring and what you are actually freaking out about is the sudden realisation that your little boy is almost an adult and can make his own choices ( good or bad). I went through this with my eldest as she reached 15ish and just had to step back, let them get on with it and then help out if things went wrong. We all learn from our own mistakes, not from cautionary tales passed down from our parents.

although cannabis is illegal, it won't screw him up mentally

You actually don't know that. I do know of a young lad who's future was utterly ruined by mental illness directly related to his use of cannabis. It is not a harmless drug.

I don't think you are over reacting. I know people who's kids mental health has been wrecked by smoking cannabis. I would be anxious too. It may be 'normal' , it doesn't mean it's harmless. I jut don't get people playing down the risk.

I wish I had been more anxious and worried when I found out my son was smoking weed. It took serious mental illness and a few spells in rehab for him to come out the other side. He just about copes with life now at 26 but remains vulnerable with very fragile mental health.

No, you don't know he'll be OK. None of us do. The week as certainly added a layer of worry though and another chance that he may go down the wrong paths. Hence you feeling anxious.

I don't know what to advise OP because we both know that if he wants to smoke, he will

Weed not week

I have seen first hand the effects of weed on the wrong people. It devastates lives not just of those taking it but those around them. I know this because I see what years of smoking weed has done to my ex and in turn myself and our children. I hate him for his actions.
I understand lots of people think its recreational and no different to alcohol, lets face it alcohol in the wrong hands is also dangerous to health, but physical illness is 'easier' to heal with medicine than the mental illness weed can cause.
Weed is illegal. It can cause mental illness and I honestly believe if a child is told drugs are bad then try something 'light' like weed and think its fine, there's no adverse effects (that they see) they are more likely to then try something more, like acid or pills so you are right to be concerned.

My only advice is to focus on the long term affects on both his mental health and career opportunities if he is found in possession.

I went very quickly from weed to other drugs. Once one feels safe it's very easy to just go up a level. I don't know what you should do but just be aware.

He might be ok but he might not be. In all honesty though, it would be the same as him going out and getting drunk as he might go on to develop a drinking problem but he might not.