To ask you all to tell my DSD she is crazy?

[K1092902]

Been with her boyfriend 2 weeks and has asked her to come off the pill so they can have a baby. Hes 15 years older and has 2 adult children

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

I would be incredibly concerned about things like an odd impregnating fetish to him knowing she’s about to find out something nasty about him and is trying to tie her before she does

[HomeHand]

Haven't rtft but please google limmerance.

DSd don't do it!

[mari652]

2 weeks ! No, no, no.

[AnnieAnoniMouse]

I am totally confused about which DSD has done what now. They certainly get into a lot of ‘interesting’ situations. I’d be in a padded cell by now if I was living your life.

[phoenixtherabbit]

dolphin wtf?? They must have a good relationship if she's open with op about this. Wind your neck in.

I dont think She's asking anyone. I think op means bf is asking dsd to come off the pill.

[WheresTheHooferDoofer]

OP's DSD, I'd go further than some of these people - dump him and run, big time. This has all the signs of being an unmitigated disaster for you.

No-one who is emotionally healthy would be planning a baby after just two weeks of dating.

[MrsZippyLake]

That's a car crash waiting to happen. How very sad for the unborn child.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

I bet he has left pregnant women all over the country - he has children by his ex-wife - why would a sensible man* be so keen to impregnate a woman he has known for a fortnight? Does he not think he is paying enough to support his present children?

I suspect he is one of these idiots who think getting women pregnant with their precious seed is the greatest gift they could give them. A wonderful reminder of the love they shared, after he has buggered off in the search for his next victim.

I hope she listens to you and take things slowly. She sounds emotionally vulnerable, though.

*ie one you would want your child to have a relationship with

[AngeloMysterioso]

What the fuck?! That’s bonkers.

[April229]

I think if she is considering this she really underestimates the impact of the risks of this decision.

Ask her to spend some time on this site looking at the impact on your life of being a single parent - career limitations, financial problems and uncertainty, not having money for nice things, struggling with money for relative basics, no time for yourself and the things you like doing.

Suggest she reads some of the checklists that help couples decide if they are ready for a baby - they include a stable relationship, safe secure shared home, financial security and agreement on lots of aspects of a future together - how will the tasks of looking after the baby be shared? Will he be providing financial support while you are on mat leave - including paying your personal outgoings like credit car / car insurance etc? If you break up before the baby is born will you have it adopted or keep it? Considering both your work patterns how much will your monthly child care cost be and how are you splitting the costs?

If she can’t answer these questions easily then there is a lot more talking needs to happen before a baby is considered. And for the record they also lead to the kind of aguements that break a relationship up so get them out of the way while you can still leave easily.

[austounding]

Hi @k1092902

I remember your username from several threads. Trying to piece together the backstory over the past 6 months

• you live with your H and teenaged DSD2. DSD1 lives separately
  
• DSD2 got pregnant and your H got really mad, you ended up going to your mum's with DSD2, and the police were involved
  
• Then after making up with your H, your DSis was getting married and cancelled the invitation for DSD2 to be bridesmaid because of the pregnancy
  
• Then DSD1 came to stay for a little while and your H was being super controlling about lending her money and holding it against her
  
• Then your H was going through DSD1's car and invading her privacy because she was staying out too late (at the age of 25)
  
• Then DSD2s estranged/NC grandparents got in touch wanting to renew a relationship because she was pregnant
  
• Now DSD1 (25) who is unemployed and has MH issues is trying to get pregnant with a bf of 2 weeks?
  

Did I miss anything?

Also I can't help but recognise your username. It is very identifying to anyone who is associated with that university and could look you up on the ac.uk email. If you are a current affiliate I'd change it...

[infinitewisdom]

Why is she crazy?

He asked, what did she say?

[Blackteadrinker77]

Get her to make a list of pros and cons.

Can't see the pro list being very long.

[ifIwasinvisiblewaitIalreadyam]

I can't say a thing. I met my partner and we fell hard for each other and said "if it happens it happens" and didn't wanna prevent it. And two/three weeks after we met I got pregnant with our son. Looking back we could have waited and grew as a couple, but 4 years later we have a 3 (soon to be four) year old and we have a 2 (soon to be 3) year old. It worked for us. It's been damn hard but we work hard and do love each other. I'm definitely not saying it works for everyone and definitely wouldn't recommend it at all. It worked out for us but not without torturous times. She should think long and hard about what she intends to do and what happens if he doesn't turn out to be who she thinks he is. She should ask him what the rush is? Some of my family were concerned my partner was in trouble visa wise but that definitely wasn't the case at all. Your concern is valid and she should try and work out why he wants her to come off birth control so early and if they can wait and get to know each other. X

[Troels]

She'd be completly mad to even consider this. He sounds unhinged too.

[yolofish]

oh I got deleted, for questioning veracity... it just seems the most unlikely circumstance to me, but I guess there are people that live like this. I'd be suggesting she ups the contraception rather than come off the pill after a fortnight.

[trojanpony]

Utter Insanity...

[Oswin]

I can almost guarantee this man will be abusive. This is what they do. In a few months he will have her isolated and making her think its them two against the world. But you know why she's vulnerable to this donr you. She wants to get away from your dickhead husband.