To hate being alone

[Hueandcry]

Yet another weekend spent alone. I hate it. Aibu?

I’m also rural, luckily I drive and enjoy walking.

I've tried old but found it full of liars & cheats. If they didn't get what they wanted on the 1st date (they didnt) I was ghosted. Didnt really help my already low self esteem. I'm not even sure it's a relationship I want, just company. Someone to talk to & bounce ideas off. I do have a dog. He doesn't answer back & gets me out of the house but it's no substitute for human company. I felt like this when my dcs were babies too. Just devoid of interaction with other adults, except my husband back then

I am another who can sympathise with you. However you do still have dc around and even though they are becoming more independent at least you have some of the hustle and bustle of family life. Both mine left home for uni at the same time 3 years ago and I have been single now for 7 years. I try to keep busy and not dwell on things. But go through periods of feeling very lonely and have a longing for someone special in my life. This weekend has been particularly quiet and I have been wishing the hours away. I have recently had to sell my house, just been given my notice at work as a friend employs me and can no longer afford to keep me on. I have had car trouble this week which is still not resolved, my mobile wont charge and I have been having problems with my laptop. No wonder I am feeling sorry for myself too.

lovelurgy... , no, dear, just like solitude.
Can't stand needy people who don't know what to do with themselves when there's no-one around to bleat to. However, you clearly wouldn't understand.

As you were.

Threads like this crop up quite regularly and there's always a steady flow of people saying, "Oh, it's bliss to spend a day with just the children," or "I love having a few hours' break from my hubby!" etc. No, that is not being alone!! Being alone means being by yourself, without company, on your own. It is a completely different experience, especially over a prolonged period, to having a short break from your immediate family, and I wish people would try to be mindful of that.

I used to feel like you op when I was single and lived alone. I lived in wonderful places - Hong Kong, London, Barcelona - but if I had too much time alone I did feel lonely and down. I'm married with young dc and lors of friends so I do not feel that any more but I do remember. I'm an extrovert and get my energy from being around other people. It's not the thing to be seen to be needy, so it's hard to say. For Me, I was in the wrong situation. There's been some good advice - hope you can get your life back on track.

YANBU

I love my own company and quite enjoy it when DH is away as I potter around during the day but at night I hate getting into bed alone.

It sounds like you're having a tougg time. If it still feels really crap, it might be worth speaking to a dr.

I've been on my own since mine were 14 and 16. You're at a difficult stage because they're almost independent but not one hundred percent so you're not totally free.

What makes you happy?

I joined Meetup and met a couple of people in similar circumstances through a walking group. We now go to the cinema, pub gigs and have started a book group. I've also done a few evening classes ant travelled a lot on my own and realised I love it. I can cope much better with my humdrum life if I plan escapes every so often.

Thing with meetups - if you don’t find what your looking for you can set it up. Our local book club meets once a month and charges attendees £2 each to cover the costs of meetups.

I took myself out today. A long walk with my dog at the beach. It was lovely & I feel better for the fresh air but I was still alone. I guess I'm just lonely and that's all there is to it. I have Friends so do I need/want more Friends? Maybe, but I now think what I want most is a significant other...

You have friends, then why aren’t you walking on the beach with them? I thought you said the friends were busy at the weekend?

TBH I think you need to get out socialising as then you will make friends and whilst socialising May meet someone

Because they are busy with their families/children/husbands??

So as you said - you have friends do you need want more friends... you only seem to have Monday to Friday friends, so I’d say yes you do need more friends that can actually be friends on a Saturday & Sunday and aren’t restricted to weekday which is surely why you’re in the situation you’re in now - lonely at the weekend as your friends are all busy

Do you have aNationalTrust property near you you could volunteer at on the weekends. You needn't do every weekend, but acting as a room steward or helping with gardening projects is what a lot of volunteers do with them. What about seeing if the local Help the GED or similar organisation needs someone as a befriender on a weekend so you can talk to other people who also lives their own.
These are just ideas, I am not in the position you are but know it can be very lonely living by yourself, or with your dc's out all the time.

I understand your friends are with their family but why not occasionly invite a couple of families over for an afternoon for a gathering.

We realised quite a few years ago that we had more or less isolated ourselves so decided to change things.
Maybe once every6 weeks or so we invited people roundfor Saturday afternoon and just put on a few sandwiches and things. It was nice and got the ball rolling with weekend friendships.

I meet up with friends at weekends, even if it's just for a quick swim before they go back to family stuff.ive found that friends don't necessarily spend every single minute with each other.

Do you going on walks? Every weekend there are mountain walking/ hill walking rambling groups going out. They maybe worth a look at. They are usually very welcoming of new comers and I've made friends through these groups.

What other things do you like doing?

I can sympathise with the weekend friends thing. Nearly eight years after we split, only one couple has ever had me round for dinner. I still see the female half of all the couples we mixed with but it's a Wednesday dog walk or Friday coffee type of thing.

The only answer is to find new friends. I gave up on OLD but I've met both sexes at Meetup activities and evening classes.