My DH suffers from OCD with obsessive decluttering as a big part of it. I spend each day worried that he’s thrown away/given away/ebay’d something of mine or my DDs. When I can’t find something, he’ll deny all knowledge but then subsequently I’ll find it in a bag for a charity shop.
Jobs, like washing the dishes, don’t get done or finished because he’s obsessed with doing them ‘perfectly’. If I do them he’ll get annoyed that I’ve done it when he said he was going to (even when it’s been sat there for ages not done). He can literally take 2 hours to do a couple of plates and mugs. I think he’s just redoing them. He has a certain way of doing the clothes washing which takes ages too. I washed something of DDs the other day, went to get it & it had gone off the line. I found it back in the washing basket to be rewashed. When I asked him about it he said he’d put it in there ‘by accident’ which makes no sense at all.
If I say I’m going to do a job, he’ll quickly do it instead and then say he ‘forgot’ I said I was going to do it. But I know it’s because he thinks I’m not going to do it right. He’ll prioritise doing that over and above finishing what he’s started.
I just want a normal life where chores are done without drama or routines or methods. Where they are just finished in a reasonable amount of time. Where I’m trusted & respected to do the most basic of stuff. Where I can put something down & expect it to not go missing. Where I can buy my DD a present without feeling massively guilty that it’s going to upset DH because he’ll see it as more stuff. I’ve tried so so hard to support him but it’s causing me all manner of stress & upset. I don’t really know what I want from posting but I just need to get it out of my head. Sorry this is so long.