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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go on a family holiday

72 replies

ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 16/02/2018 15:33

Every year for several years we have gone on a winter holiday with friends. I don't like the activity the holiday involves. I have tried and tried but I can't get on with it. WIBU to not go again. I don't want to stop the others going but do you think it will be ok to not go next time. My kids will be 11 and 14 then. DH scared of traveling without me.

OP posts:
rothbury · 16/02/2018 17:02

Having read your updates OP, I would be booking myself a holiday with my friends. Then you can actually relax/enjoy yourself instead of running around after this apparent manchild Flowers

upsideup · 16/02/2018 17:03

Wow, lets mock a man for having fears. I have a phobia of flying, repeated panic attacks, being being unable to get on flights I have paid for, since being with DH and having my DC I have managed to deal with it and with DH's support can get on a plane to go on family holidays, the thought of flying with the kids and not DH does actually scare me and I dont think I would manage it. Nice to know thats funny on mumsnet.

rothbury · 16/02/2018 17:07

You have misread the thread upside. OP has been asked if DH has a fear of flying, but that isn't the problem here. He has a fear of adulting/being responsible for himself and the DC.

AnyFucker · 16/02/2018 17:08

Folk really should RTFT

Original poster
ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 16/02/2018 17:12

He loves flying, to be clear

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 16/02/2018 17:13

' Holidays are always a bit of a nightmare of me being the only responsible adult. I do all organising (which i would still do), if there's driving involved i do it etc etc'

Time for that to come to an end. I'd just book the kids a group/school package trip. It's time for them to start packing and unpacking for themselves, too. My 12-year-old can now do this competently as we camp, she goes on trips and we travel long-haul once a year. Am teaching my 9-year-old who has Asperger's how to pack for himself.

lazymum99 · 16/02/2018 17:14

He's not really travelling on his own with the kids if they go with friends. I understand that panicky feeling that travelling can have. If he is with other people he would find it easier to cope with.

Original poster
ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 16/02/2018 17:14

I expect his post would read "Have been having a great group holiday for last few years. Wife wants to ruin it because she's scared of skiing and gets really grumpy."

OP posts:
rookiemere · 16/02/2018 17:16

He can still do the group holiday though, just without you. Most ski resorts have buses that you can get from the airport if he doesn't want to fly.

AnyFucker · 16/02/2018 17:18

So ?

"Wife" has autonomy over her own life.

Right ?

Original poster
ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 16/02/2018 17:18

We all make our own way to the resort so he would be traveling alone with the kids.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 16/02/2018 17:20

'I expect his post would read "Have been having a great group holiday for last few years. Wife wants to ruin it because she's scared of skiing and gets really grumpy."'

To which most people would reply, 'Why do you want to drag someone along who doesn't like skiing?' I just would never want to do that to someone I love, drag him

Original poster
ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 16/02/2018 17:21

Right - I do have autonomy (repeat until convinced)

OP posts:
Hithere1981 · 16/02/2018 17:21

OP

Call his bluff.

I know the children love it, but really there should be no expectation of a skin holiday every year.

So in response to DH, just shrug “shame, because the children love it, but probably good that they appreciate it more if they have the opportunity to go again. Fingers crossed for a school trip!”

It’ll piss him off and he may just back track

expatinscotland · 16/02/2018 17:21

'We all make our own way to the resort so he would be traveling alone with the kids.'

Again, not exactly climbing Mt Everest, particularly given their ages and that he travels for work.

rookiemere · 16/02/2018 17:22

Sorry I meant to say most resorts have buses that you can get from the airport if you don't want to drive Blush. Failing that there's usually a taxi bus, or he could pay the difference with the other family to hire a bigger car.

I hate driving abroad and refuse to do it except in Canada where they all drive really slowly - DH is happy with this arrangement Wink - but I wouldn't let it stop me. When I was over in the US last year for a family wedding, I was hoping to get lifts some of the way, but had also researched local transport and priced up ubers if it hadn't been convenient for people.

MsHarry · 16/02/2018 17:22

You've tried it and decided against. Either he goes without you or you all go somewhere else.

lazymum99 · 16/02/2018 17:24

Mark Warner - don't have to think. Just turn up at airport, get on correct plane, be met at other end and put on coach. Skis, boots and passes all sorted. Kids ski lessons and yours sorted. Meals sorted. A moron (and a nervous one) could manage it.

Leeds2 · 16/02/2018 17:25

Do NOT back down, OP! If he wants to take the DC skiing, it is perfectly open for him to do so. But, given that he now thinks skiing is boring, I would book the DC on the next school ski trip asap.

JaneEyre70 · 16/02/2018 17:32

If you don't enjoy it, don't go. Up to your DH to decide if he will take kids or not. Let him sort that out. I book and organise our family holidays, therefore we do what I want. I've offered to hand the job over to DH but he goes a funny colour and says no thanks. So everyone is happy Grin

BewareOfDragons · 16/02/2018 17:39

They're not toddlers or young children. He's being ridiculous since he knows that you know he actually likes skiing. What a jerk.

Tell him to suck it up and take his kids skiing if they want to go skiing. You can save your holiday time for other family things that need to be covered time-wise.

KarmaStar · 16/02/2018 17:43

It's definitely time to choose a holiday of your choice OP.and then make it a regular thing,maybe alternate each year so one year you all go somewhere you enjoy and the following year they go skiing and you have a peaceful time at home😊

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