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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go on a family holiday

72 replies

ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 16/02/2018 15:33

Every year for several years we have gone on a winter holiday with friends. I don't like the activity the holiday involves. I have tried and tried but I can't get on with it. WIBU to not go again. I don't want to stop the others going but do you think it will be ok to not go next time. My kids will be 11 and 14 then. DH scared of traveling without me.

OP posts:
BendydickCuminsnatch · 16/02/2018 16:39

YANBU at all, life is tooooooo short.

C8H10N4O2 · 16/02/2018 16:41

Would you all jump on her and ask how on earth she can not be capable of taking the kids on holiday on her own?

My response would be exactly the same.

She could either buck up and learn to do it or she doesn't get to require her DH to spend money doing something they don't enjoy simply so that she has childcare, packing and organising on tap.

expatinscotland · 16/02/2018 16:41

'Imagine if the OP posted the other way round and said she didn't feel happy taking the kids on her own but her DH didn't want to come again. Would you all jump on her and ask how on earth she can not be capable of taking the kids on holiday on her own?'

Why, yes, people would! Because surprise, surprise! Here's a little grain of thought for you: it has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with being an adult. An adult with tween and teen children. And travel to a ski resort, not exactly asking one to perform neurosurgery. Hmm

FluffyWuffy100 · 16/02/2018 16:41

Imagine if the OP posted the other way round and said she didn't feel happy taking the kids on her own but her DH didn't want to come again. Would you all jump on her and ask how on earth she can not be capable of taking the kids on holiday on her own? You know, we are actually allowed to have some failings (if you even want to call them that) - both men and women.

Yes.

If the OP really wanted to do something on holiday her DP hated, but she was 'too scared' to take them on her own I would think she was pathetic. Yes.

It is 2 children and a ski trip. Of which the man has been on plenty and knows how to navigate the airport and the ski slopes. Hardly a new experience for him, nor an Everest attempt.

crackerjacket · 16/02/2018 16:43

LTB

FluffyWuffy100 · 16/02/2018 16:43

I sent dh and ds off on a ClubMed ski holiday alone and it was fab and less to go wrong.

That is a really good idea actually.

Club med holidays are amazing and there is nothing to organise. Book, pay, turn up at the UK airport of your choice. Everything else from ski hire, transfers and food and lessons are taken care of. Pricey tho.

NewYearNiki · 16/02/2018 16:44

All i can is you must have money to burn if you repeatedly pay for the same holiday every year that you hate.

You only get one life.

If you can afford to travel then go and see different things and places.

Original poster
ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 16/02/2018 16:44

Well I'm annoyed now with "lovely" DH. Apparently, he doesn't even want to go skiing anyone either. He's utterly bored with it. This is just blackmail because he knows how much the kids love it and is expecting me to give in so they don't miss out. Not gonna happen. My respect for him is at an all time low.

OP posts:
Exiguous · 16/02/2018 16:44

Imagine if the OP posted the other way round and said she didn't feel happy taking the kids on her own but her DH didn't want to come again. Would you all jump on her and ask how on earth she can not be capable of taking the kids on holiday on her own?

Blimey, defensive much?

My reply would be exactly the same.

lazymum99 · 16/02/2018 16:46

I gave up skiing a few years ago. I was getting more nervous of hurting myself and slowing everyone down. However, I'm quite happy to go on these holidays but DH and I research the resort and hotel to ensure it is good for non skiers. The hotel needs to have a lounge (to sit and read/snooze in), and preferable a spa (not essential). i need to be in walking distance of the village and there are always lovely walking trails. I meet them for lunch often if there is access to pedestrians on the lift up the mountain. All in all it has been successful like this. If they want an extreme ski holiday somewhere useless for non skiers then he goes on his own.

AnyFucker · 16/02/2018 16:47

People live like this ? Confused

Zaphodsotherhead · 16/02/2018 16:49

It won't be long before the kids can go on their own, OP. School trips? Our local schools go skiing every year for the older ones. Or could the friends you holiday with take the kids?

Otherwise, teach the kids to love scuba or snorkelling - they'll soon love that as much as skiing and you can have a decent holiday.

rookiemere · 16/02/2018 16:49

YANBU. Going on a ski holiday at half term is not a cheap holiday even if you aren't actually skiing.

Call his bluff. Find out if there are any ski trips from their school - if so then sign them up to them. Win-Win. DCs enjoy a ski trip , you don't have to go, nor does H if he apparently hates it so much.

Why can't he travel on his own? Is it more he doesn't want to have to travel whilst looking after the DCs on his own?

Original poster
ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 16/02/2018 16:49

I live like this yes.

OP posts:
SendintheArdwolves · 16/02/2018 16:50

he doesn't even want to go skiing anyone either. He's utterly bored with it

Great - so skiing is off the table, right? You can go on a different family holiday this year Grin

This is just blackmail because he knows how much the kids love it and is expecting me to give in so they don't miss out. Not gonna happen

Precisely - why should fifty percent of the family have to go on a holiday they won't enjoy? And it's not like the kids will never be allowed to go skiing again - once they're mid teens they can start going with school/groups for young people/their m/their own mates. Your husband need never do boring old miserable skiing ever again :)

expatinscotland · 16/02/2018 16:52

'Apparently, he doesn't even want to go skiing anyone either. He's utterly bored with it. This is just blackmail because he knows how much the kids love it and is expecting me to give in so they don't miss out. Not gonna happen. My respect for him is at an all time low.'

Don't give in. WTAF? That's fucking pathetic. I'd tell the kids they're not going because he is unwilling to take them. At their age I'd actually look at package/tours for kids that age, book one and send them on their own with a group.

LolitaLempicka · 16/02/2018 16:54

Your DH is a big sulky twat. You really don’t have to live like this.

rookiemere · 16/02/2018 16:54

Actually if the DCs love skiing, they'd probably love a Neilson summer holiday where they get to go sailing and do other exciting stuff, whilst you do what you want basically. My friend has been and says its ace. Sadly slightly out of our holiday budget as two weeks in summer would cost roughly the same as the New Zealand trip I'm planning for 2019 for us, but if you've got money to burn on ski holidays, may be worth considering.

Original poster
ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 16/02/2018 16:55

I will let the kids go on the school trip or he can go on a package deal with the kids. I don't know what he's scared of. Holidays are always a bit of a nightmare of me being the only responsible adult. I do all organising (which i would still do), if there's driving involved i do it etc etc

OP posts:
lazymum99 · 16/02/2018 16:56

Just read your last post. If neither of you enjoy skiing but the kids love it they can go on school ski trip. No one need miss out.

AnyFucker · 16/02/2018 16:56

You don't have to.

lazymum99 · 16/02/2018 16:56

X-post!!

SilverySurfer · 16/02/2018 16:58

Definitely don't go next year and as far as your DH being too incompetent to travel (!!), it's rather pathetic and I would hazard a guess that he is not incompetent or scared of travelling but rather it's from choice and he doesn't want to make the effort of travelling with and caring for your children.

rothbury · 16/02/2018 17:00

Well I am quite sure we can all think of something the DC would like to do that you would also be happy with OP,so just go for that.

Tell him that is great, you will come up with a plan.

witch what does the DH have to be competent in especially to take the DC skiing without OP? Considering she doesn't ski - holding the passports? Of course the comments would be the same if it were a woman claiming they were "scared" of travelling somewhere they had been multiple times before, without their partner.

Original poster
ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 16/02/2018 17:00

I think you're right as he manages to travel for work ok although he does get a bit panicky over it.

OP posts: