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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is she taking the piss?

71 replies

DankAShan · 15/02/2018 21:18

I've befriended a mum at school who is going through a very rough time. She seems really nice and I've had her DS round for tea on a couple of occasions and picked him up from school to help her out - not a problem.

When her DS was at my house a couple of weeks ago he had an accident so I changed him into my DS's clothes and gave the mum his dirty clothes. A week later I receive my DS clothes bag in a carrier bag - unwashed and skid marks in the pants.

She then asked if she could borrow a school uniform from me as she had left her DS uniform at home and was staying with her mum that night. 5 days passed and I hadn't received it back, when I asked her about it she said she didn't understand what the rush was as "most people have more than one set of uniform"

The last incident was, I let her borrow something of mine and specifically asked for it back on a certain day as I needed it. When she gave it back (albeit on time) it was missing pieces. When I asked her about it she said she doesn't know what I'm talking about as all the pieces were there when she gave it me back.

She's a nice woman and we get on well. She's going through a tough time but my DH thinks she's taking the piss abit and now I'm starting to agree with him. AIBU?

OP posts:
Strongmummy · 15/02/2018 21:21

No I don’t think you are being unreasonable. You’ve been kind, but maybe don’t lend her anything else.

Stompythedinosaur · 15/02/2018 21:21

If you like her then remain friends, but don't lend to her again.

If she is a cf (as I suspect) she will not want to be friends if she isn't getting something from you.

HolyMountain · 15/02/2018 21:22

I’d be wary of her and not pursue a closer friendship but I’m easily irritated by nature.

FissionChips · 15/02/2018 21:23

She’s a cheeky fucker.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 15/02/2018 21:25

Skids Envy (not envy), she is a complete piss taker and a dirty bitch to boot, text her again for the uniform and don't give her so much as a chocolate digestive in future

Original poster
DankAShan · 15/02/2018 21:25

I am also easily irritated which is why I wondered if I was being harsh on her

OP posts:
Emmageddon · 15/02/2018 21:26

Be lenient with her if she's having a tough time. However, returning clothes unwashed and soiled is a bit grim, and returning an item with bits missing is discourteous. I would continue to be friendly with her, but don't lend her anything else.

Halie · 15/02/2018 21:26

I wouldn't bother with someone like that. To return the clothes dirty is just disgusting and rude - regardless of whatever she's going through. Most people would find that embarrassing to do that - she obviously has no shame. Once you've got your stuff back, don't lend her anything again and don't go out of your way for her with anything - she'll probably disappear, she sounds like someone who uses people for her own needs.

HildaZelda · 15/02/2018 21:27

She's absolutely taking the piss. I'd be distancing myself from her OP.

Nikephorus · 15/02/2018 21:28

That's gross! Definitely avoid lending anything again - either make excuses or go with the MN favourite of 'sorry that doesn't work for me'!

ddrmum · 15/02/2018 21:32

OP we all go through tough times. I cannot ever imagine returning borrowed clothes unwashed or items incomplete. As for school uniform, no excuse not to return it. She's taking advantage of your good nature. I'd stop lending things to her.

Snowydaysarehere · 15/02/2018 21:35

Imo /e some people just like borrowing stuff!!
My neighbour asked to borrow some pj's. Thought maybe her washer was on the blink so lent her some black satin ones I didn't wear . She sent them back washed /folded - no issue..
Then she asked again for them as apparently her bf liked her wearing them while they had sex!! Told her she was welcome to keep them!! Shock.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 15/02/2018 21:35

I would bet good money that she's gone through life like this, losing friends right, left and centre because she's befriended, borrowed and then taken the piss.

Original poster
DankAShan · 15/02/2018 21:36

At first my DH stuck up for her - saying she probably didn't wash the clothes because she may not have a washing machine, she probably asked to borrow the uniform because she has no uniform for her son. He stopped making excuses for her when she came to collect her DS one night and asked if my DH who works long shifts and only had the weekend with us - to help her paint her new place.

OP posts:
Tistheseason17 · 15/02/2018 21:38

Don't lend what you can't afford to lose.
Sorry, but it's advice my Nan gave me and I stick to it. For money and clothes/things.

Original poster
DankAShan · 15/02/2018 21:40

season it wouldn't have mattered if she had kept my DS clothes as they were old and if she was desperate for the uniform I'm sure I could have given her something. It's just the principle.

OP posts:
Mulch · 15/02/2018 21:45

Some people have no shame

troodiedoo · 15/02/2018 21:45

CF alert! Cease and desist friendship. At the very least downgrade to passing aquaintance and no more lending

MyKingdomForBrie · 15/02/2018 21:47

Yeah I don’t think she’s very nice. Back off and don’t lend again.

Giving dirty clothes back with no explanation.. Lying to you about your item.. not ok.

halfwitpicker · 15/02/2018 21:47

Piss taking.

halfwitpicker · 15/02/2018 21:49

My neighbour asked to borrow some pj's. Thought maybe her washer was on the blink so lent her some black satin ones I didn't wear . She sent them back washed /folded - no issue..
Then she asked again for them as apparently her bf liked her wearing them while they had sex!!

^
Seriously some people have no shame whatsoever

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 15/02/2018 21:50

She's a CF.

PutUpWithRain · 15/02/2018 21:51

It is the principle. If you borrow something and can't return it in the same state you received it in, you either offer to replace (if you can) or apologise & explain. Not necessarily with your full life story, but just say 'things are a bit tricky right now' or whatever. Acknowledge that someone has helped you out, and you appreciate it.

Snowydaysarehere · 15/02/2018 21:53

She was an odd neighbour - she had canaries but only because her kitchen was yellow! She knocked every week for me to clean them out as she was scared of them!! Cf or what??

Gemini69 · 15/02/2018 21:58

she sounds like a pain in the arse.. I'd distance myself FAST Flowers