To feel guilty that I'm not taking kids on holiday this year

[Peachsnowpop]

We had a huge over the top holiday last year and we're still paying for that (£15k ish holiday). We go away every year abroad but this year we need to knuckle down and clear debt. We'll still have great days out but there's no 2 weeks away in an AI

Thanks toolazy

Hahaha artificial intelligence is all I could think of Bartholins

I'd be careful with the days out and what they end up costing.

My parents could never afford to take us abroad - which I know they felt guilty about but I don't remember bothering us kids (though not being able to do secondary school aboard trips did upset us at the time)- and some years they couldn't afford a UK holiday.

I don't really remember the years we didn't go away I do remember them getting upset as they often ended up doing more days out to compensate for no holiday but the costs would spiral and then they'd look at the figures and think perhaps they could have gone away.

I think there is a tendency to say we’ll we not doing big x so we’ll do some on smaller costing but more y instead – I think we made that mistake with our small wedding and before you know it costs have spiralled.

I used to feel so guilty that our pfb didn’t even see the sea or go on holiday till she was five and had done two years of hearing how her class mates in nursery and reception had been by the seaside and all the topic seaside work they did. She doesn’t remember that at all.

We now spend all year saving to do one weeks UK holiday and that seems to do them.

We're not planning any big trips this year, as last summer we went to Provence and Cornwall, and spent 5 weeks over Christmas in Australia. We're planning to go to Australia again next feb/March, so it's going to be a quiet 2018...

This has to be a joke.

If you’re insecure enough to feel guilty because you cannot take your precious DC to an AI this year then I question if you’re mature enough to be a parent.
Are you trying to be your DC’s best friend?
Are you trying to impress your friends with your wealth and “look at us!” lifestyle?
Are you scared you can’t keep up with the Jones’ on Facebook?

I despair. There are parents around the world who feel guilt because they cannot afford to FEED their children. Get some perspective.

Some people just prioritise holidays over everything else. Just because other posters don't it doesn't mean the OP is lying or exaggerating.

What is the actual purpose of a holiday abroad? Ibdoubt many people go toblearn about the country's history and traditions.

Exactly what Saska said.

Many of us take our children abroad and many of us don't go on AI beach holidays when we do so.

We were hiking up a glacier in Alaska last year and this year we're travelling up to the arctic circle and northern Norway to various different places in a motorhome.

Of course people go to learn about history and traditions.

Putting yourself in debt to do so is mind boggling though.

Your poor children. Never mind the holiday, imagine growing up knowing your security depends on someone with the financial sense of a chipmunk.

Wow a lot of unkind people on here today.
We love holidays in our family. We go away every year sometimes a week in the uk but my preference is abroad.
You chose to go into debt knowing you could afford to pay it it by sacrificing this years holiday, its no biggy not like you can't afford to pay it off.
Could get a picnic rusksack and take the kids to the beach in the uk for some days out. It's still nice chilling out with family wherever you are. Kids won't care a jot lol, it's you that might be stuck here for 6 weeks of rain, sure it was worth it though :)

I grew up with parents who got themselves into debts for holidays, they still do in fact. They used interest free credit cards and low interest loans and paid them off on time. They don't drink, smoke, have hobbies, buy expensive clothes etc. It's not affected them or me in the slightest. Other than I probably wouldn't get into quite as much debt as them.

In this day and age of budget airlines, and people renting out their own villas, there's really no need to spend big bucks for a foreign holiday in the sunshine. There are even travel bloggers (affordabroad, Sunshine Stacey etc) who'll do the legwork for you if you want a week in the sun for 4 for less than £1500 (often much less)

I think life would be pretty grim if we were only surviving. What's the point of getting up and going to work everyday if you can't afford a few holidays with your family? We all have a few years where finances are a big tight, but on the whole, I think holidays are important for a family.

Still not sure about going into debts when there are so many options. Brexit might put the prices up unfortunately, it might be worth for other countries to start charging us for tourist visas, who knows.

Plus it must be horrendously depressing to come back from a fantastic holiday and think you now have to pay for it.

I really value my holidays but 15k on one trip sounds like madness to me. I'd far rather have 5 x 3k holidays over 5 years.

I only went on holiday a couple of times before the age of 18. Didn’t feel like I was missing out at all.

I think it’s a bit tragic that these days people think it’s a hardship not to have a holiday abroad every year tbh.

And I have to agree with others that getting into debt to pay for a £15k holiday doesn’t seem very sensible...

Anyway, basically I would say don’t worry about it at all!

I think dc should have a holiday every year if it is in every way affordable. When my eldest was little we went to Pontins . It was awful , dirty, noisy run down etc , my dd had an amazing time she loved the tacky entertainment and playing with other dc. It was also very cheap and all I could afford.
I think you were very selfish getting into debt last year and now you cannot afford to take your dc away.

I did one all inclusive holiday before we had children and I loved it. Did bugger all apart from eat, drink, swim, knit and read. We can't stretch to it at the moment and with a 3 year old and 1 year old it doesn't seem worth it so we do a week in good old Butlins.

We are gradually saving for big holidays and think we can probably afford 3 big holidays while our children grow up (big meaning 10k or more). Unless I win those premium bonds!!

By the way, by saying no holiday this year you are doing your children much more of a favour letting them know the value of money/that they can’t have everything they want/that you have to work hard for things than you would be by taking them away again this year.

Don’t listen to any PPs saying you’re selfish not taking them away - that is ridiculous. Holidays are luxuries and should not be expected.

I don't think the op should take them away this year , that would be irresponsible Wellington.
The op previous choice was selfish.
Holidays are not luxuries for dc. They can be a few days at a friends or relatives house. Obviously some parents cannot afford to take their dc away and that's a rubbish situation to be in.

Wow lots of replies ! Some nice comments, some nasty, some rude, some flaming me and some questioning even my parenting lol

Have you thought about crowdfunding?

Seriously though, we're planning for this summer and DS's main concern is whether there will be woods at the campsite? Will there be a play area? Will there be other children? And please could we have longer stops at each site as that time we hired a campervan we moved around too much and he didn't have as much time to make friends.

In DS's ideal world we would always go to the same campsite near Loch Lomond and we'd only leave the campsite to go to the pub for dinner. Or possibly to a sweet shop, but essentially the days are for disappearing into the woods with a bunch of kids he just met.

My DD2 and I did 2 months round the USA and Canada this summer for less that that !
However prior to that my kids have had the grand total of 2 holidays abroad, and none seem to have suffered...and thye are all 20 + now.

For a cheap break, go camping... honestly! We do a week every year and the now adult kids join us.. borrow a tent and kit and make it a novel experience for the kids (ours always made loads of friends and we barely saw them all week). If you want sun with it, do eurocamp France and have a ready set up tent... still pretty cheap and added novelty of trying to ask for stuff in french!

I love holidays, but I love my bank balance being in the black more, time to step back and start saving and clearing the debt I reckon!

I really couldn’t justify spending 15k on one holiday. I know it must be harder with 3 children as venues seem to cater mainly for families of 4. However, I’d still much rather have 3 holidays for 5k than one for 3x the price. And I say that knowing we have the cash and wouldn’t need to go into debt for either scenario. I don’t think my dd has missed out from not having stayed in a 5* in Dubai or some such. Neither had I at dds age. Dh and I had those sort of holidays before we had dd.

I think it's very easy to fall into the trap of feeling that holidays are a necessary part of what a good parent provides. I think it's great to go on holiday, and when I finally could afford it, I was thrilled. But it doesn't ruin your children's lives if you don't go on holiday by any means. It's far more important to ensure that they have a healthy diet, that you spend time with them, that they get lots of fresh air and exercise etc.

My DC are 10 and 13, and this half term break we didn't go anywhere. They did not complain. They have enjoyed relaxing at home, reading, doing crafts, cooking, going to the park. They just enjoy the break from school.

They are going on 2 x holidays this summer as me and their dad have just separated. I think the thought makes them a little stressed, tbh. And I suspect their dad is getting into debt to take them (I'm not, as my holiday with them is very low key and inexpensive). He has definitely fallen into that trap I mention above.

How would you feel if your parents had gotten themselves into debt to take you on holiday when you were a child? I would be mortified and a bit concerned about their priorities.

I love holidays too. So much so that I budget to have several short holidays all year round, none costing very much at all. Had an absolutely glorious short break camping in idyllic countryside during a heatwave last summer. Probably cost under £100.