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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by people pretending to have allergies?

85 replies

crunchymint · 14/02/2018 11:36

It seems to be fairly common for people to pretend to have allergies when they just don't like something. Which just means that those who do have allergies get taken less seriously. My DP is allergic to walnuts. Luckily not life threatening, but he does come out within minutes of eating walnuts in a painful rash. A number of times he will order something that has other nuts in it, check there are no walnuts in it, and come out in a painful rash. When talking to the server, they always say - oh there were hardly any walnuts in it, so I thought you wouldn't be able to taste them. Aaarrgghh.

OP posts:
Ikanon · 14/02/2018 15:36

I agree people say 'allergic' when they mean 'intolerant' or 'dislike'.

My DH put mustard in the pasta bake sauce. I spat it out and he said 'it was only a little bit' Clearly not... but that was dislike. Allergic is if he'd put a little bit of peanut butter in it. Then I'd have had a swollen mouth. YANBU.

Exiguous · 14/02/2018 15:45

OP and Exigious, I do hope my post didn't give the impression I didn't believe you when you said your cases were mild, or that I think you should be unduly concerned or worry you shouldn't trust your own health professionals! I was asking for my own education.

Not at all - I think it's really good that people try to find out more about allergies. They're an increasingly big issue so it's good to be informed. Between DD and DH and I we have a range of allergies of varying severities, some of which have only appeared in the last 10 years, so I've learnt a lot about them over recent years.

Bambamber · 14/02/2018 15:53

When eating out I say I have a dairy allergy and I dont. But my DD does have confirmed CMPA and she reacts to even small traces in my breastmilk, so we have to minimise cross contamination with my food. If she reacts through my milk, it has to clear from my system completely before it can even begin to clear from hers. You try explaining that to people and people normal respond with 'well just give her formula then' or 'a little bit won't hurt her. Never mind the fact that she often shares my food.

I get it's frustrating and allergies shouldn't be minimised by people pretending they're allergic when they're not. But like in my case, protecting my daughter's health is more important

Thistlebelle · 14/02/2018 15:57

I presumed you submitted a formal complaint to the restaurant each time this has happened?

It’s very serious, they could really hurt someone.

FancyNewBeesly · 14/02/2018 15:59

I have anaphylaxis to nuts and seeds and this drives me mad too - I see the eye rolls when you mention an allergy and I totally blame all the people that claim to have an allergy when they just don’t like something. There’s no excuse for that.

FancyNewBeesly · 14/02/2018 16:00

If you are bfing a CMPA baby then that’s completely different - saying you’re allergic yourself is short hand, and easier than explaining it all.

mommybunny · 14/02/2018 16:07

May I ask, what does "CMPA" stand for?

FluffyWuffy100 · 14/02/2018 16:11

I don't know anybody with a pretend allergy.

I do.

One of my colleagues says he is allergic to fish. He isn't, he just thinks it is easier than saying he doesn't like it.

YreneTowers · 14/02/2018 16:26

Mommy bunny - cow's milk protein allergy. DS1 had CMPA until just before he started school.

We had problems when he was admitted to hospital with an asthma attack. A nurse refused to refer us to get a dairy free diet while he was on the ward, as he hadn't had a RAST test. His first reaction was so obviously an allergic reaction, the allergen easily identified (4 months old and just started solids) and witnessed by a GP as I got him to the surgery for an emergency appointment straight away, they hadn't bothered to order tests!

toomuchtooold · 14/02/2018 16:30

Yeah people like me are partly to blame for this I suspect. I've got oral allergy syndrome - it's not a "true" food allergy, it's like a cross reaction to fruits and nuts because of a pollen allergy, in my case birch pollen. I have a reaction (swollen mouth, sometimes an upset stomach) with loads of fruits, nuts and also things like coriander, but if they're cooked I'm fine. If I get a balti in an Indian restaurant and it comes out sizzling with fresh coriander on it, I can usually get away with stirring it in and letting the heat denature the offending proteins. I imagine a few goes of having a customer go "oh I'm allergic to coriander, can you leave it off", the chef putting it on anyway, and then the customer shrugging, stirring it in and eating it with no ill effects might make you question if it was all bullshit. But if I understand it correctly it's possible to be allergic to all these same things to the extent that you get anaphylaxis, so it's really dangerous.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 14/02/2018 16:49

People who cry wolf/lie re allergies make it seriously dangerous for people who are genuinely allergic...

I had no allergies... Until I suddenly developed a bad reaction to penicillin... Was lucky as I was at. GPs took first dose when on way home... Within a few mins... Eyes /skin tingling within 7 minutes my throat was closing and I couldn't see... Was horrible...

My sympathies to anyone dealing with genuine allergies

BalloonSlayer · 14/02/2018 17:05

OP, if this happens again report them to environmental health.
The rules have changed recently because of the deaths caused by other such slack attitudes.
EH will come down on them like a ton of bricks. I ended up feeling a bit sorry for the establishment I reported Grin

LittleCandle · 14/02/2018 17:15

XH was totally useless when it came to DD1's allergies. He always wanted to buy her Smarties for Christmas despite knowing that the colouring in them could kill her. "But its Christmas" he would protest. Yeah, dickhead and she could die just the same as she could on any other day of the year!

It wasn't restricted to his fuckwittery either. She is allergic to wool and when on a farm trip, the class teacher allowed her to stroke a lamb and then wondered why she broke out in massive hives all over her hands and then her face, where she had touched. A lot of people, unless they have direct experience of allergies, really don't get it at all.

OutyMcOutface · 14/02/2018 17:17

Have you been reporting these places? If this happened to my DS (also allergic to walnuts) I would be livid.

KC225 · 14/02/2018 17:19

My SIL claims her 10 year old is allergic to gluten and lactose. Its always a massive drama around food. Some heavy duty questioning revealed he has NEVER been tested for any intolerance or allergies. She is attempting control his recently diagnosed ADHD by taking these items from his diet. Her 12 year daughter has been complaining about tummy aches. The school has suggested stress, possibly due to her brother's violent outbursts but no - last visit, the 12 year old daughter is now allergic to gluten and lactose.

The 'fakers' get on my nerves and definitely detract from those dealing with debilitating and life threatening allergies.

Pittcuecothecookbook · 14/02/2018 17:19

I have to say I'm allergic to dairy as I'm vegan and what I order will end up having cheese in it somewhere otherwise. My issue with this is the restaurant not taking it seriously, for you or me, rather than people having to lie about it.

CaptainCallisto · 14/02/2018 17:25

I'm allergic to chilli; thankfully it's only mild, though the last time I inadvertently had some my reaction was worse than previously so it seems to be building.

You'd be amazed the number of people who tell me to just stir some natural yoghurt into things... They seem to think I just don't like spicy food.

My ex-boss (who is a bloody pharmacist and should know better!) brought in some things for her birthday last year that she swore blind didn't have chilli in them. When I came out in a rash and started struggling to breathe she said she'd thought that because she'd used sweet chilli sauce mixed in yoghurt for the marinade and blended it so there were no flakes it would be fine.

And people seem to be putting chilli into everything these days! Things that three or four years ago I could have eaten with no worries. After the second time I ordered a burger in a pub/restaurant and discovered a few bites in that there was chilli in the beef (not on the menu!) and the time my hot chocolate at a cafe was made with that Whittards chilli chocolate (again not on the menu!) I check every single item with the servers and often ask that they confirm it with the chef. It's probably really annoying but I'm not going to risk it anymore.

MumW · 14/02/2018 17:31

I'm with you. Some people say allergic when they mean intolerant or even just don't like.

In your situation, my DD would have ended up in A&E having left by ambulance.

mommybunny · 14/02/2018 17:34

At the moment we are trying to keep DS12 away from chocolate - he's had a couple of episodes of vomiting shortly after eating it and leaving his bedsheets looking someone was murdered in them and I've read that chocolate can be a trigger for chronic vomiting syndrome (yes, it's a thing). It wouldn't occur to me to tell people he's allergic to it though!

BlackeyedSusan · 14/02/2018 17:34

you can have a local allergic reaction: allergic rhinitis for example. (hayfever)

dd is allergic to eggs. (diagnosed by hospital) they called it unpleasant but not life threatening.

she is also allergic to some nuts, and requires an epipen.

we suspect she is also allergic to milk and have been advised to avoid it by the GP, she certainly has similar reaction to milk as egg, so it is entirely possible.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 14/02/2018 17:35

Did you not request to see the allergen list? Every food restaurant has to provide there allergy list for every meal produced!

This is by law which came out in 2016/17!

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 14/02/2018 17:37

It was actually 2014 Shock

www.food.gov.uk/science/allergy-intolerance/label

Skiiltan · 14/02/2018 17:44

It might sometimes be a way of simplifying something that is a bit more complicated.

I can't eat prawns. I've no idea why, but they always make me sick. I know it isn't an allergy because I used to work in a department that routinely did allergy tests so I got myself tested: I was positive for all the things I know I'm allergic to (house dust mite, guinea-pig dander, grass pollen) but not prawns. If I'm at an event with a fixed menu that includes prawns I'm not going to explain all this. I'll just tell the waiter/waitress that I'm allergic to prawns and I'm happy to skip the starter/spring rolls/whatever.

SaskaTchewan · 14/02/2018 17:46

YANBU!

it does mean people with genuine conditions are not taken seriously, and it's very dangerous. This is exactly why more and more schools are now requesting doctor certificate to confirm genuine allergies (or food intolerance).

On the plus side, the "fashionable" side of allergies make it more profitable for manufacturers to sell xxx-free food, so it can give more choices for genuine sufferers.

It still is very annoying.

cjferg · 14/02/2018 17:51

Yes, every food serving place has to have a list of all food with details of all of the main allergens list in it. Everywhere I've worked has taken it seriously because you can get into big trouble if you don't. Staff are also supposed to be given training along with general health and safety training (although this doesn't often happen)