To be annoyed by people pretending to have allergies?

[crunchymint]

It seems to be fairly common for people to pretend to have allergies when they just don't like something. Which just means that those who do have allergies get taken less seriously. My DP is allergic to walnuts. Luckily not life threatening, but he does come out within minutes of eating walnuts in a painful rash. A number of times he will order something that has other nuts in it, check there are no walnuts in it, and come out in a painful rash. When talking to the server, they always say - oh there were hardly any walnuts in it, so I thought you wouldn't be able to taste them. Aaarrgghh.

Yes Im not sure why a cafe should take it upon themselves to police people's allergies. Someone says they're allergic to x or y and all they have to do is tell them what's on the menu that's safe for them to eat, with maybe a quick note down to the kitchen to prevent cross contamination. Its not like they're expected to create a whole new menu for that person.

My son has food allergies, he was offered a biscuit in a shop once, I said to the lady I would have to refuse as she didn't know the ingredients and my son was allergic, her response..?

"Oh yes, I know how hard it can be, I tried to give up gluten once."

Also a friend who is upset the GP won't refer her child for allergy tests and has asked her to do a food diary first, the GP clearly knows nothing and is just trying to fob her off...

[nothing bloody wrong with the child apart from a drama queen mother, we've caught her pretending herself to have food allergies before!]

I have a nut allergy and people don't take me seriously all the time. I've noticed that other countries don't seem to have the same level of profile for allergies as we do here and I have real problems when having Indian, Thai or eating abroad.

Quite often people will immediately say 'yeah there's no nuts in that' without checking or taking it remotely seriously. Generally I've found that fancy restaurants take it really seriously.

I'm not all that surprised about the cafe incident - there was a conversation on here recently about allergies and one poster refused to believe people can have life threatening allergies to anything other than nuts.

Some people are just really thick and shouldn't be in jobs that involve food.

The cafe is massively unreasonable

I went to Wagamama’s recently and asked for my food without one of the vegetables. They asked if it was due to allergy or just preference, I said just preference. There was no issue with doing what I requested, I think if it was an allergy they would take care about cross contamination but for a preference they don’t need to be as careful.

In theory I think all food places should ask if it’s just preference or an allergy/intolerance... it would save them being over cautious if someone just doesn’t like something, and would ensure they took extra care of it was an allergy. But I can imagine some people would object to being asked, some customers would lie anyway (why???) and some wait staff would be rude.

I agree with Dreamy My son has a cows milk protein intolerance. He has the type he will grow out of, that doesn't cause anaphylaxis. He's slowly growing out of it; he's gone from not being able to tolerate my breast milk, to being able to have everything but for raw cows milk, cream, large amounts of cheese and certain mayos (there are some brands which contain milk proteins. Not so much now, as there are so few things he can't have, but I used to just say he had a milk allergy, as it was easier than explaining CMPI when I was trying to get me and the baby sorted with food and drink. I also probably looked like I was making it up, but sometimes you say what you need to to make life simpler, even if it's not strictly accurate. (NOT justifying people describing dislikes as allergies, just to clarify)

This is why I try to avoid eating out if I can avoid it. I am coeliac and have reacted several times to restuarant food that I have been told is gluten free. I assume it is mostly that it has been cross-contaminated. Not much consolation when I am in the loo for 12 hours and can't get out of bed the next day because my joints hurt too much. I have never complained about it though, but I dread eating out more and more now.

My mum has coeliac disease & we once ate in a big chain restaurant who told us afterwards that the wheat free menu "only contained a little wheat". Yeah, thanks for that

I sympathise op.

I assume you mean that because people say they are allergic, instead of saying they don't like it, the staff assumed that a small amount wouldn't be tasted and would be OK.

I ended up in an argument with a customer in a coffee shop when i asked him not to use the tongs from the gluten free cake to pick up a normal cake.
I was polite enough in explaining why they needed to remain with the gluten free cake, but he thought I was making a fuss, and didn't believe me when I said if someone with a gluten allergy used them after him it could make them seriously ill.

The staff didn't say anything at the time, I think because they were surprised by his reaction. They did take the tongs away and replace them though.
The manager was on her break at the time, but heard from a distance and apologised to me for his reaction.

I think with some people there is the thought that if it doesn't cause them a problem then others must be making it up.

I have a family member who has decided they are allergic to lactose. No idea why, never been to the GP, never had it diagnosed, just decided. Same as someone else I know who must be intolerant to gluten because they get a bit bloated. I despair. Why would you want to be allergic to something? One of my DC had a CMPA as a baby and it was hard work. Getting diagnosed, being fobbed off by GPs, multiple hospital trips, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Any restaurant that denied ingredients or cross contaminated food by mishandling, I’d report to local council.

This is very serious and people have died from restaurants claiming to be nut free.

All staff should be trained. All main allergen ingredients be flagged.

I think the fault is with the restaurant. It is reasonable to ask the person how serious the allergy is and I might expect them to do that. I think there is a misunderstanding about how many things one can be seriously allergic to. My sister has a life threatening (she carries an epi-pen) allergy to dill.

I would expect your husband to make it clear to staff that his allergy can be serious but not life threatening. My sister makes it very clear what would happen if someone mistakenly included dill in her meal!

I used to work in a cafe. The amount of people allergic to onions and gluten is unbelievable. Literally.

I would always advise them it might be best to eat elsewhere as we couldn't guarantee there'd be no cross contamination. Suddenly, their allergy would go from life threatening to 'Oh, no, as long as there's no big lumps of onion, I'll be fine'

YANBU to think these people crying wolf are making it harder for people like your husband to be taken seriously but the cafe were also unreasonable and irresponsible.

NB: I always took nut allergies seriously and would ask the kitchen manager to come and talk with them as he had access to the full lists of ingredients.

I once had friends round, one of whom was ‘gluten free’. It was a buffet and she ate something which had gluten in it - she knew what the product was. When I asked her what happens if she eats it and said ‘you do know this has some wheat in’, she said she did, but a little bit is ok !! I thought ‘wtf’ and was just relieved she didn’t come out in a rash or worse.

YANBU. I am very lucky that neither I nor any of my close family have such food allergies but I do understand that consequences of unwittingly consuming even a microscopic amount of an allergen can be catastrophic to some sufferers. Anything that makes food servers think "they're crying wolf" in concealing the presence of an allergen is completely reprehensible.

Just wondering OP, you say your DH's reaction to walnuts is "mild". What makes him/his doctors think this will always be the case? Forgive me if this is an ignorant question, but I was under the impression that just because a reaction is mild once doesn't mean it will always be. I had a mild rash once to penicillin and was told never to take it again because the next dose could kill me. Now whenever I'm in hospital I have a large plastic bracelet on my wrist and a huge note on the front of my files saying I'm allergic. No one will risk even the smallest dose with me.

Wagamama are very good with allergies.
Dh is allergic to something rare in ‘English’ food but common in Japanese/Chinese food. When he mentions it to them the manager comes to take the order and checks with the chief.

It is a simply a slightly painful rash. He is late 50s and had it all his life. I know in theory it could get worse, but it hasn't so far. And he has never been affected unless he eats actual walnuts, cross contamination has never affected him.

DD seems to have general allergies, and last time she saw the GP he decided to arrange for a blood test to check for them. She received a letter back yesterday, and on it he had written "the levels of these proteins towards cat hair was off the scale"

It was a lovely and friendly letter, but all it did was confirm what we already knew. At least when people pooh pooh the idea that she is actually allergic to cats we have a GP letter to prove it.

I am intolerant to gluten and dairy. It’s not an allergy, but I feel awful for several days after cross contamination (as in, can’t leave my bed, and told by doctor to completely avoid). It’s not an allergy because no anaphylaxis but it’s not something I can switch on and off either. However, nearly everyone I meet seems to have an opinion about whether or not I should be eating these things and whether or not it’s a “true” allergy. Just because something doesn’t require an epipen doesn’t mean it can’t do a lot of harm to some bodies.

I'm allergic to cows milk & sulphite preservatives, sulphited sugar syrups, sulphited veg, things made from them like citric acid, the bleach in teabags, gelatin, beers unless made under German purity laws, pectin, caramel colouring in whisky/brandy, cornflour, maltodextrin, malt extract. I react to it under 10ppm.

I've had family members put milk in my coffee because their too busy talking then say "ooh I didn't think you'd notice, it's only a bit you'll be ok with that", because after so many years without milk it all tastes sour to me they've grudgingly made me another.

I've had the rolled eyes from restaurants too.

It's horrible having allergies & makes me miserable if I'm honest. Anyone making them up needs to get a fucking life in my opinion.

I have a "relative" who is veggie when she's out but eats bacon & chicken at home, turkey at Christmas, duck and beef at my wedding. But, go to a restaurant & she's veggie 🙄. No one gives a shit either way.

I get the same with Celery. I won't die if I eat it, but I do get pretty sick. If I ask, I often get a patronising 'really?' But if I don't ask, it'll be there. And the number of times restaurants just take it out of the salad or off the plate...

Just wondering OP, you say your DH's reaction to walnuts is "mild". What makes him/his doctors think this will always be the case

I'm mildly allergic to lots of things - raw hazelnuts, raw almonds, most raw fruits, some raw veg. My symptoms are itchy mouth, nausea, rash and I cough a lot. My allergist is not worried about me eating them - if I do I take an antihistamine and they go away.

Much as I understand your frustration (And been in a restaurant that takes these things VERY seriously) I think I am probably "one of those people" atm. I have never had any food allergies but as my pregnancy has progressed I have started to experience IBS symptoms when exposed to gluten. Took some time to work that out and it hasn't been in every instance; though the further along I get the worse it's becoming.

I am not going to get diagnosed because of my pregnancy and tbh I hope it goes away when I give birth, but for now I just say no bread or pasta or choose no bread or pasta. I understand it's made things awkward for people and I definitely don't have a diagnosis but I have tried to be as dramallama-less as possible about it.

You most definitely should complain about your DHs experience but people are always gonna make dietary choices. Education around allergies needs a little more priority by the looks of things.

My allergist is not worried about me eating them - if I do I take an antihistamine and they go away.

OP and Exigious, I do hope my post didn't give the impression I didn't believe you when you said your cases were mild, or that I think you should be unduly concerned or worry you shouldn't trust your own health professionals! I was asking for my own education.

But you don't have to say you have an allergy. DP also has those kind of symptoms with certain foods, he just says they disagree with him. No need to pretend to have an allergy. And no need to avoid cross contamination.