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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Relative taunted my son

64 replies

gottherage · 12/02/2018 14:13

I know I am not BU to be annoyed. A relative, who has grown up children of her own so should know better, taunted my son.

She stole his snacks. When he asked her not to, she distracted him and then stole some more. We don't take people's food in this house. I gave relative a packet of alphabet biscuits of her own but no, she wanted to steal my toddlers until he cried. I told her she was bring mean and to stop it. She made a "pffft" noise but did stop it.

I gave my son a letters game and nipped to the loo. When I went back in the living room, relative had taken game off him and was doing it herself and son had her coffee mug (partially full) in his hands. He tipped it, luckily away from himself, just as I walked in. Relative shouted at him and made him cry.

Told relative that son needed a nap, so they had to go. They did but on the way out grabbed son's softie toy and said she was going to take it with her. Stood there taunting him with it. He cried. I tried to grab it and she snatched it away. I had to manhandle her to get it back and then shut the door on her.

Who the fuck does that to a child?

OP posts:
gottherage · 14/02/2018 16:37

Spoke to my mum about nasty auntie. She said she always went too far with things but she thinks she is bitter that she hasn't got grandchildren and just about everyone in the family of her generation does.

So she taunts my baby.

And why the hell did she come to visit in the first place, just to be nasty?

OP posts:
MadRainbow · 14/02/2018 16:46

That is pure spite and I definitely wouldn't allow her back in my house let alone near my child.

but this is a new low, possible early Alzheimers?

^ This. My nan has always been a torment and the last time I took my DD(4yo) she had deteriorated to the point I've had to stop contact as it got to this level

MadRainbow · 14/02/2018 16:50

Just read your update - having an explanation doesn't excuse such spiteful behaviour. If you don't see her often and she calls round again call her out on it.

"You were very spiteful last time you were here with DS and I don't feel it's appropriate for you to see him"

My mum made sure my Nan's spiteful streak never affected us and she controlled it for years until the Alzheimer's took that away

gottherage · 14/02/2018 16:56

How did your mum do that MadRainbow?

OP posts:
LucyAutumn · 14/02/2018 17:32

Wow this is vile. I will never understand how people can bully those who are younger/ more vulnerable than themselves so easily.

Well done OP for turfing her out.

ModreB · 14/02/2018 17:58

I think I probably would have punched her. Very hard, and then said "Oh, are you crying, I'm so sorry" But, then I can be a bit bolshy.

I do have form for this. I had an aunt who bullied my DS's mercilessly for years, until I broke, told her off, she physically attacked me and I retaliated. And broke her nose. As she had mine at 12yo.

She never troubled them again.

pimlicolife · 14/02/2018 18:21

Don't let her visit again!

GetOffTheTableMabel · 14/02/2018 18:30

I agree with all those who advise not letting her near your child again. If she asks to visit, I think you should be honest. ‘No, I do not want you to visit dc again. You were not kind last time. You may say that you were only joking but it was not funny and it was not kind and I will not have it happen again”.

MadRainbow · 14/02/2018 18:31

gottherage my DM saw what my DGM did to my cousins and told her outright - "if you treat my kids the same way you treated DSis kids you will not see DGC" at first she needed a bit of supervision but my DGM isn't a nasty person and did actively work on her spiteful sense of humour. My DM made sure she stuck to her guns though. You have to have an iron will to come up against these people and said person needs to have some will to change - my DGM really wanted to see us so she made the effort. I'd like to hope nasty Auntie is the same...

Sadly as the Alzheimer's has worsened all those years of discipline has faded and she's reverted back. Which is one of the reasons I agreed with PP about it being a possibility. If it is then She's unlikely to change her behaviour no matter how early into the illness

littletinyme1 · 14/02/2018 18:35

Its not taunting, its bullying! Send her a text explaining that her silly behaviour had upset you and sets a bad example of how to behave. Tell her not to visit again.

goose1964 · 14/02/2018 18:42

I really have that people get their kicks from bullying a child. Teasing is making a big show of stealing their snack, obviously pretending to eat the snacks and the making a big show of giving them back, not taking them surreptitiously and actually eating.How can any adult not understand the difference?

HildaZelda · 14/02/2018 20:30

She sounds horrible, winding up a small child. I wouldn't be letting her back in the house again.

Tistheseason17 · 14/02/2018 20:36

She would not be welcome back.
YANBU

Mlb123 · 14/02/2018 23:09

Imagine being such a pathetic person that they derive enjoyment from bullying a small child. Its beyond disgusting to use that poor child to achieve some kind of power trip. It beggars belief that they would think this is acceptable or any kind of achievement and normal people would not think taunting a toddler is anything to be proud of or satisfying in anyway. I think she may have been enjoying upsetting you op, perhaps her jealousy runs far deeper than ever expected.

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