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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Relative taunted my son

64 replies

gottherage · 12/02/2018 14:13

I know I am not BU to be annoyed. A relative, who has grown up children of her own so should know better, taunted my son.

She stole his snacks. When he asked her not to, she distracted him and then stole some more. We don't take people's food in this house. I gave relative a packet of alphabet biscuits of her own but no, she wanted to steal my toddlers until he cried. I told her she was bring mean and to stop it. She made a "pffft" noise but did stop it.

I gave my son a letters game and nipped to the loo. When I went back in the living room, relative had taken game off him and was doing it herself and son had her coffee mug (partially full) in his hands. He tipped it, luckily away from himself, just as I walked in. Relative shouted at him and made him cry.

Told relative that son needed a nap, so they had to go. They did but on the way out grabbed son's softie toy and said she was going to take it with her. Stood there taunting him with it. He cried. I tried to grab it and she snatched it away. I had to manhandle her to get it back and then shut the door on her.

Who the fuck does that to a child?

OP posts:
DriggleDraggle · 12/02/2018 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FooFighter99 · 12/02/2018 14:33

My oldest brother is just like your Auntie. DD calls him "Teasey insert uncles name here"

He is so mean to both my DD and his DS... sometimes he takes it too far and they end up crying.

TBF our Granddad used to do the same to us when we were kids! But DB does get told off by me, his wife and our DM - he honestly thinks he's being funny though Hmm

Inertia · 12/02/2018 14:33

Wouldn't be welcome in my house until she'd grown up. I'd expect a 5 year old child to be mature enough to know better than to deliberately wind up a toddler.

Your relative sounds deranged. Who the fuck deliberately tries to upset a toddler three different ways?

LemonBreeland · 12/02/2018 14:33

I wouldn't let her back in my house and I would tell her why. She sounds fucking awful!

Original poster
gottherage · 12/02/2018 14:35

We usually only see her in a family (group) situation but she was in town to see her son and popped in. I don't know what she was like with her own children (who are all very nice people) because we didn't see much of them.

She's not coming again.

OP posts:
Beeziekn33ze · 12/02/2018 14:35

Horrible behaviour to a toddler, and to you, disrespecting you in your own home. Whatever the reason don't invite her round again and avoid her at family gatherings.

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/02/2018 14:36

That’s awful @Chugalug

A child has a need and a right to feel safe in their home. If they don’t how on earth do you expect them to grow up with healthy boundaries and form functional relationships in their life? Your 8 year old is learning that his parents choose not to protect him from harm and abuse and that’s irresponsible and dangerous. He’s a little boy. He’s learning about behaviour and what’s okay and what’s not. If you wouldn’t be happy with someone at school or in the street picking on him, how can you let it happen in his own home?

HollyBayTree · 12/02/2018 14:37

I had an uncle that was 'a tease - now Im all grown up I realise he was a nasty sadistic bully.

I never say 'go NC' but this relative is so far removed, you really dont ahve to bother with her do you? Cut the relationship.

Eatalot · 12/02/2018 14:41

She is batshit.

MissionItsPossible · 12/02/2018 14:43

Late 50s!? I thought you were going to reveal that she was 5!

floriad · 12/02/2018 14:45

Huh. late 50ies? Absolutely unacceptable.

Don't let her near your child. Or inside your house.

Original poster
gottherage · 12/02/2018 14:49

could well be early Alzheimers. Her mother, now dead, died with that (don't know if it was from it but she was certainly diagnosed and in a home as she couldn't look after herself).

OP posts:
Original poster
gottherage · 12/02/2018 14:49

Or maybe she's always been a cow.

OP posts:
IWillSurviveHeyHey · 12/02/2018 14:50

What a cow
Definitely wouldn't let that psycho anywhere near my son ever again
Your poor little boy...

CuboidalSlipshoddy · 12/02/2018 14:51

He is so mean to both my DD and his DS... sometimes he takes it too far and they end up crying

AIBU to think that parents who calmly allow their children to be reduced to tears by bullying relatives are a bit rubbish at being parents?

littlemisscomper · 12/02/2018 14:54

It could be early dementia. Whatever the cause though, the result should be the same - don't let her near your child again.

grannytomine · 12/02/2018 14:54

Well I wouldn't be letting her through the door again. What a sick twisted way to behave. I hope the little one is happy again now she's gone.

Original poster
gottherage · 12/02/2018 14:59

Language and behaviour are different in different families. One uncle used to "steal our noses" when we were small and my sister was petrified of it, no other child cared though.

A BIL of mine is a bit odd in that he will put his coat on inside out for a laugh or tell kids that socks should be worn on their hands and gloves on their feet. This has caused some trouble because some of the children then insist on doing these things and it can be a pain for the parents... but he is doing from a good place, he's just clueless.

There is sometimes a fine line with "humour"...

OP posts:
Ellie56 · 12/02/2018 15:02

What a weird and awful relative. Hmm .

She wouldn't be coming to my house again.

Original poster
gottherage · 12/02/2018 15:04

Yes granny son is fine now thanks. I've told him that it is wrong for people to take his food and toys and to tell mummy if it happens. He's happily playing now.

OP posts:
Original poster
gottherage · 12/02/2018 15:06

Calming down now.

First time my mama tiger has really come out!

OP posts:
Clutterbugsmum · 12/02/2018 15:15

There is a big difference between your BIL being 'silly' with the children and this 'aunt' you is just plain nasty.

I would be telling her and other relatives that under no circumstances will she be welcome in your home again due to her nasty behaviour. Any one you suggest 'oh it's just Auntie XxX way then they can follow her lead and not be invited as well.

We don't accept nasty bullying behaviour from strangers we don't accept from family either.

Red2017 · 12/02/2018 15:38

That really is such nasty behaviour.. I'm gobsmacked that someone would do that

Aeroflotgirl · 12/02/2018 16:14

My goodness has she got learning disabilities, if she hasn't, that is not right for an adult without sn. I would totally avoid her.

DistanceCall · 12/02/2018 16:45

Some people are real, genuine sadists who enjoy inflicting suffering on others (particularly if they are helpless, like little children).

Sounds like your relative is one. Don't let her near your child ever again, and tell other people why. Despicable.

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