To not take them out for any more meals?

[SplishSplashSplat]

Last night we ordered pizzas for the kids. I didn't order from the older two kids favourite place because they take ages to deliver and it was late. But I said I was sure we could order from there at some other point in the half term. DSS and DSD decided they hated the pizza, ate one slice each and binned the rest. DH hasn't gotten a pizza himself as we are trying to save money and said he'd have left overs that were in the fridge and nick a slice or two if they were going spare. DH ran out to get something from the corner shop when the pizza binning happened. I was upstairs putting the littlest to bed. When I came down they were both happily munching through the snacks I'd bought for the week. Both stepkids have form for not being happy and throwing a massive strop if things don't go their way. AIBU to say we aren't getting any more takeaways etc over this half term because of their behaviour? I'm so fed up of them binning food.

I would take £30 minus the amount for a slice each from their pocket money to make a very strong point.

Also not take them out for the rest of half term.

Maybe also next time they start eating, particularly if it's something they like, take it away from them and use it to start a conversation about how they threw their father's meal into the bin without a second thought.

And have some bread and butter in so if they kick off about what you offer them, say it's bread, cheese and an apple, no snacks or treats, or the meal. Then keep their meal for leftovers another day...

Wow absolutely yanbu.

I'd be putting a blanket ban on all and any treats from this moment forward until they learn to respect the idea that we don't chuck perfectly edible and good food in the bin.

That's actually disgraceful really.

Lay the rules down.
No more take always
No more helping themselves food

I think you being angry with them is no bad thing.
Very rude behaviour on their part.
You say they are often selfish and picky around food. Rather than strop back at them, I'd suggest you and your DH have a conversation with them and calmly talk this through. Ask what food they do like and maybe try and meet each other in the middle.
If they are doing this to deliberately get at you personally, then I'd hand cooking over to your DH when they're with you.

My mum would’ve murdered me for that.

I’d be v angry even with DP for binning perfectly good pizza!

I know AnneLoves Gilbert, I was suggesting OP's DH needs to look at what's wrong, not OP, especially as it was his dinner they destroyed and him who went to the shop to get something else.

We aren't short a bob but things are tighter as I was made redundant while on maternity leave and haven't found a new job yet. DHs ex works part time and is paid spousal and child maintenance. He feels a huge weight of responsibility to keep everyone afloat and is always looking for ways to cut down the budget which is fair enough. I suggested pizza as a nice way to start of the half term and because we were stuck in traffic and figured this would make everyone happy and fed the fastest. I took everyone's order in the car including which toppings etc and when I got to DH he said no it's fine we need to save money where we can I'll have left overs and any extra slices that are going. They certainly heard him as they were sitting right there. DH is a human dustbin as is DS so there was never any doubt that others would have eaten any leftover pizza. They are 14 and 12 so not young kids.

I don't know what to do about the pickiness. We have asked them explicitly umpteen times what mess they'd like. We eat pasta pesto and spag bol on repeat when they are here. DSS will eat some sausages but certainly not all. DSD will not eat any sausages. So occasionally I do sausages for everyone but it means coming up with a different meal for DSD. DSD won't eat reheated leftovers which is tricky. If anyone has any bright ideas I'd love to hear them.

I've been around since they were 3/5. I love them loads and they love me. I've worked reallly hard to have as good a relationship as I can with them and I think we've succeeded for the most part but the food issue is a giant nightmare that seems to be getting worse not better.

Their mum and DH don't really coparent and there will be no help forthcoming on that front!

"My mum would’ve murdered me for that."

Mine too! Then probably revived me and killed me again!!

She won’t eat reheated leftovers?! Why on earth not? You’ve got the patience of a saint. If she was under my roof she’d be eating a lot of fucking sandwiches.

Sounds like it’s time they started to cook the odd family meals.

The only solution to that sort of pickiness in older children is that once they've told you what food they want, there are no alternatives.

It's the waste that bothers me, I don't see why they should have to eat food they don't like, but if they choose food and then chuck it away, they obviously aren't hungry.

YANBU.

Were they individual pizzas or family sized? It's not acceptable to throw away either size of course, but it'd take some gall to think they have the right to throw away almost an entire family pizza just because they didn't like it. How bratty and arrogant!

Definitely no more pizza or treats for the foreseeable future.

I'd also stop pandering to their food fussiness. They can either eat what the rest of the family does, or make themselves some plain toast.

I didn't think spousal maintenance still happened. Shocked by that as well as the pizza binning.

Ha! Yes it certainly does tea.