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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s pointless sending a birthday card after your birthday?

42 replies

MermaidTailUnicornHorn · 11/02/2018 18:20

So friend forgot my birthday. Made me feel a little shit tbh but didn’t say anything.

She’s now text to say sorry for forgetting and that she’s sending a card. I just don’t see the point?

OP posts:
dontbesillyhenry · 11/02/2018 18:21

Bloody hell are you 7?

Bananagrabber · 11/02/2018 18:24

What's worse is being wished 'happy belated birthday' - my birthday wasn't belated mate, it was the same day as every year

Original poster
MermaidTailUnicornHorn · 11/02/2018 18:54

How does that make me 7?

I never said anything, I can’t help that it made me feel shit.

I do think it’s rather pointless sending a card for anyone's birthday a week after the event.

OP posts:
TheQueenOfWands · 11/02/2018 18:56

Yes, I agree.

I had a friend who'd say stuff like, "It's XXXX's birthday today but they know I always send cards late."

Why? Don't bother.

falsepriest · 11/02/2018 18:57

At least she apologised, wished you well and is trying to make amends.

woollyheart · 11/02/2018 18:58

Having a birthday so close to Christmas that most people forget, I am always delighted to get a birthday card even if it is a week late!

Trills · 11/02/2018 18:59

If a friend forgot my birthday, and sent a card later, I'd be pleased to get the card.

If this bothers you so much, you might want to look into why you are so upset and maybe reassess your expectations of this friendship.

EastMidsMummy · 11/02/2018 18:59

I think you're being precious.

They remembered you. They thought about you. They decided to send you a card. So they got the date wrong...

InToMyHeart · 11/02/2018 19:02

Bit crap of them to forget but sometimes it happens - no one is perfect. To be honest, it's crapper of you to be ungrateful that she tried to make it up.
Unless she does this every year YABU.

cardibach · 11/02/2018 19:06

I think sending cards is pretty pointless anyway. Wishing you hOaoy birthday is the important thing. I’d rather that was any way other than by card, to be honest.

toolonglurking · 11/02/2018 19:14

To be honest, as an adult I could never get het up about a friend forgetting my birthday. They are an adult too (I assume) and probably have waaaaay more important shit going on than sitting around all year waiting for your special day to roll around.

WannaBeWonderWoman · 11/02/2018 19:14

I'm with you OP. I always used to have this with my family and the DCs birthdays. I'm of the view that when the day's over, its over. Its a day that the birthday person is supposed to be made feel special on, if you forget, then just don't bother.

Original poster
MermaidTailUnicornHorn · 11/02/2018 19:15

Wrong place to post, I forgot on MN that you’re not allowed to celebrate a birthday once over the age of 8.

OP posts:
DenPerry · 11/02/2018 19:19

You're being daft, I would never expect a friend to remember my birthday. There are enough dates to remember in life!

Dahlietta · 11/02/2018 19:21

I do see your point, OP, but nobody in my family would ever get a birthday card if we didn't send each other late cards!

Dahlietta · 11/02/2018 19:21

You do have to ring up on the day though, and make a grovelling apology about how it's in the post and then rush out and put in the post when you've hung up...

LoveB · 11/02/2018 19:23

Completely agree OP. A card is lovely to get if it's on time. If it's late, there's no point.

skippykips · 11/02/2018 19:25

I dont send then if I am late with them.
Im usually pretty good though.
However, my DSis and I are both crap with each other. I buy and write her card but I always forget to post it. Instead of posting it late, I send her a pic of it. Not so she knows I thought of her, just so she knows Im not as rubbish as her - she always forgets to even buy them for me!

InToMyHeart · 11/02/2018 19:27

Wrong place to post, I forgot on MN that you’re not allowed to celebrate a birthday once over the age of 8.

Don't be a dick!

PerfectlyPosed · 11/02/2018 19:30

I agree. I saw a friend yesterday who gave me a birthday card but my birthday was two weeks ago. It wasn't that she had forgotten but we didn't see each other at the time. Yesterday was a meet up completely unrelated to my birthday and whilst lovely that she went to the effort to write me a card, I've already taken my cards down and so hers went straight in the recycling.

Original poster
MermaidTailUnicornHorn · 11/02/2018 19:33

You're being daft, I would never expect a friend to remember my birthday. There are enough dates to remember in life!

That’s very sad. I’d assume a friend of well of 20 years could remember to send a text.

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 11/02/2018 19:36

People balance incredibly busy lives, I don’t think it’s fair to expect your birthday to be her number one priority. Who knows what else she’s juggling at the moment? She caught her mistake, apologised and the card is a nice gesture, I don’t think it’s fair to hold it against her.

Vitalogy · 11/02/2018 19:46

Sorry, no excuse these days for forgetting birthdays etc, now we have Smart phones to program these dates in to. Btw, I don't have a Smart phone, I have a calendar. Program the date in a week before so you have time to buy a card etc, plenty of time to send off, it ain't rocket science. Really gets my goat this does.

foodiefil · 11/02/2018 19:49

Are you upset about something else?

BackforGood · 11/02/2018 19:51

YABU.
If a card arrives late, then I just think - aw, that's nice, they remembered me around my birthday. It's not crucial that it is a particular day, it is just nice they've taken the time to get a card, get round to posting it, etc.

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