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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it’s pointless sending a birthday card after your birthday?

42 replies

MermaidTailUnicornHorn · 11/02/2018 18:20

So friend forgot my birthday. Made me feel a little shit tbh but didn’t say anything.

She’s now text to say sorry for forgetting and that she’s sending a card. I just don’t see the point?

OP posts:

echt · 11/02/2018 19:55

Well if you don't see the point just tell her so. Sorted.

Part of her apology is sending the late card is acknowledgment of the significance of your birthdays, that it's still worth remembering by her. But I suppose you can't see that, especially as you posted that "it made me feel a bit shit". No-one and no-thing makes anyone feel anything. Grow and own your own feelings.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 11/02/2018 20:28

You're so right! Drives me nuts when people text to say they'd forgotten and will put the card in the post tomorrow. Just save it for next year!

It needs to arrive at latest the day before my birthday so I can open it first thing on my actual birthday!!

CalcatrippticLego · 11/02/2018 20:29

I never get texts or messages on my birthday. I'm well aware that this is because I don't publicise my birthday on facebook. I don't care. My two oldest friends send oresents and vice versa. We count it as sent on time if it's sent within a month of the correct date! Else we apologise for being late. It's not always easy to get to a post office these days. Ours has shut recently and I need an hour and a half round trip to get to the closest one. That's half the morning gone. If I don't work, I don't get paid. Can't justify that for posting a parcel, even for my best friend.

I think YAB really quite U. At least she thought of you.

Vitalogy · 11/02/2018 20:42

It's not always easy to get to a post office these days. You don't need a Post Office, just s post box. You can buy books of stamps in loads of places.

CalcatrippticLego · 11/02/2018 20:50

Presents even. We send each other presents, not oresents , so need an actual post office.

Grammar · 11/02/2018 21:51

Well, I'll remember next time I spend £2.50 on a card and a 1st class stamp that it could be received with resentment and put straight in the recycling.
And I won't forget to slap myself hard on the wrist. Lest I forget.

Grammar · 11/02/2018 21:57

And I do hope you NEVER find yourself forgetting any of your friends' birthdays, but don't go wasting your money on a late card because you'll know how curmudgeonly they'll feel on receiving it.

dontbesillyhenry · 11/02/2018 22:06

Hark at the infant saying it needs to arrive latest the night before so I can open it on the morning...
Why will you scream and scream until you are sick?
Sorry but I never see my friends on their birthdays and vice Versa
We may mark it when we do get together after you know looking after our own family, house, working etc the things that are majorly important like?

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 11/02/2018 22:12

YANBU, it is rather pointless.

However I have previously sent cards late - it's usually because I have bought a lovely card, written it, addressed it, then realised I have no stamps (especially for abroad), then not made it to the post office...

Then after I've texted them happy birthday it seems a shame to bin the card, so I send it anyway.

Wonderwoman98 · 11/02/2018 22:24

A few times on my MIL's birthday I've asked FIL what he got for her, and he's replied "ah nothing yet, I'll get her something later on" !! It makes me so annoyed. Just get her something on her actual birthday, it's on the exact same day this year as it was last year and will be next year! He just can't be bothered to make an effort!

Redact · 12/02/2018 07:29

YABU it's a small mistake in the grand scheme of things and one that your friend has rectified.

CruCru · 12/02/2018 08:57

I find a few of the responses on here a bit unpleasant.

I wonder whether this is the latest in a long line of minor things this person has done to annoy the OP. Each may be too petty to raise or even think about but overall they may add up.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 12/02/2018 11:59

Ouch!

Bad day yesterday dontbesillyhenry?

DenPerry · 12/02/2018 17:13

Sad for you OP but not me.. I am content in the knowledge I don't have unreasonable expectations of people and am therefore never disappointed.

Abitlost2015 · 12/02/2018 17:16

What’s the point of sending a card? To say you think of someone, you value them enough to take the time to choose, buy, write and send. That still stands, doesn’t it?

Piffle11 · 12/02/2018 17:20

I usually get my birthday card and present from one of my closest friends up to 3 months late: she doesn't work, has no kids, so TBH I think it's a bit crap. Haven't had a Christmas present from her yet, but she swears she's got me one ...

Moonandstars84 · 12/02/2018 17:24

Ok are you my dsis? One year I was away with work on her birthday. I purchased card but forgot to post it.
I fessed up the day before her birthday and she told me not to bother as it's too late.
Well I may have made her feel crap but she did the same back.

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