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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO TAKE DS TO MCDONALDS OFTEN?

125 replies

BLUESEAPARADISE · 10/02/2018 10:44

AIBU to take my son to McDonalds often?

DS is 9 and has a wide range of health issues and also autism ( he is developmentally 9-18 months) and only eats a handful of things ( Custard, Chicken fillets from the butchers, chicken nuggets ( not from McDonald's) , Completely plain burger buns from McDonald's and walkers salt and vinegar crisps) That is his full diet... we have a dietitian.
( before has gone for days without eating because his " safe" food wasn't available as we were trying to encourage him to try new things )

For a while he has been refusing food and as a result we are all extremely worried as he has lost a lot of weight and we are at the point may have to take him into hospital and there is talk of a possibly feeding tube ( which he won't keep in / cope with well at all)

However today He has shown some interest in eating some burger buns .. AIBU to take him to McDonald's and just buy him a few burger buns to simply try and get him to put weight on and eat something?Sad I feel awful as I know he doesn't have the best diet and burger buns are far from the best but I really don't want him to loose any more weight( he hasn't had anything to eat since Thursday morning) and end up in hospital but I feel bad giving him just a plate of buns!

Please help .. I want to do what's best for him but feel absolutely awful which ever way I do it SadSad

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 10/02/2018 16:44

You are in a difficult situation, and you need to do what you can. Take him to MacDonald's and don't feel bad.

Original poster
BLUESEAPARADISE · 10/02/2018 16:56

Thankyou so much everyone for all your support and advice.. it's lovely and heart warming to know there are lots and lots of lovely and wonderful people out there!

We did go to McDonald's and he ate two burger buns.. which is amazing! I am just praying he doesn't suddenly stop eating them as he has stopped eating all of his other food itemsSad

Unfortunately buying buns from the supermarket doesn't work.. I have tried every single type of bun in all the supermarkets .. I have also tried preparing them the same way McDonald's would do it and even wrap it up like McDonald's but it didn't work... he knew straight away! He also likes going to McDonald's to collect his burger buns as he loves the traffic lights .. for to his routine we have to cross the same traffic lights four times ( so I am sorry if you ever get stopped at the traffic lights repeatedly by a child juggle plain burger buns.. that will be us Blush) it is also a good social situation .. which is reason why I am reluctant to buy in bulk .. Thankyou so much for all your ideas and support though! I truly truly mean it ThanksThanks

OP posts:
NorthernLurker · 10/02/2018 16:58

Can people stop suggesting the op tries to substitute the buns for something else 'healthier' or adds a lovely side of green veg Hmm. The ops child won't eat buns from anywhere else, he will only eat the food she describes and not much of that. His medical condition means he is at real risk of starving himself. A total lack of calories is the most unhealthy thing possible.

Go for it op and best of luck.

CodLiverOil556 · 10/02/2018 17:00

@BLUESEAPARADISE do you want Salt & Vinegar crisps? My DH has done the shopping for a few weeks and insists on buying multi pack crisps with S&V in and no bugger eats them here. Happy to post them.

AJPTaylor · 10/02/2018 17:02

Do it.
I met a lady at cineworld one afternoon. One of the few things her ds would eat (he was 12) was cineworld popcorn. He had learning disabilities. Better popcorn than nothing. Dont judge yourself dont let anyone judge you.

nancyclancy123 · 10/02/2018 17:15

Do whatever you need to do. I have a dd with ASD and she goes through phases of not eating much. During these phases I let her eat whatever she wants to, just so that she eats something.

All those suggesting this lady substitutes the McDonald's rolls, it will not work!!!

Likeindie · 10/02/2018 17:29

YANBU, my son is on the autistic spectrum also and his eating is poor, he eats about 5 things if that.
One of his approved foods is chicken nuggets from McDonald’s he has them frequently because this time last year the dietitian said if he lost anymore weight he would be at the stage of them having to think about tube feeding him because he had lost so much weight. He is lucky that he was prescribed the ensure plus drinks( last chance for him and his weight) on prescription and has two of them a day,they are full of vitamins and minerals and also keep him from losing any more weight. 💐 for you it’s very hard when they don’t eat. Just feed him what he will eat.

Qvar · 10/02/2018 17:33

Dude just get the calories in. I know I am a staunch advocate of "provide the meal, it's the child's job to eat" but when it comes to intake resistant autism, you let them intake whatever they will tolerate. Burger buns will do no harm if the alternative is nothing. Burger buns have some protein, plenty of starch and some vitamins from the fortified flour.

KickAssAngel · 10/02/2018 17:34

DD (now 14) used to only drink one brand of milk, and not from the little cartons used at school. I tried other brands, but she could tell. Even when I kept an extra plastic carton back, decanted a different brand into it, and then poured it in front of her, she knew just from one mouthful.

The good news is that at age 14 she eats several different foods, has about 5 or 6 'meals' she cooks herself, and will help out with cooking food like casseroles, even if she won't eat it.

We learnt the hard way that trying to force her to try new things just did not work. So, we ate our normal food, served her up her favorites, and after about 5 years of no-pressure (and hitting puberty) she started being more confident and adventurous.

On one school camping trip she she discovered the 'joy' of turkey, onion, and jam sandwiches (yes, all in one sandwich). So, it can get better eventually. Until then, whatever keeps them eating.

Qvar · 10/02/2018 17:36

here's some horror for the pearl clutchers - my autistic 15 year old will currently only drink coffee with milk and two sugars. He WON'T drink water when he's thirsty, although he will take a tablet with water. He'd rather faint than drink a cup of water for "no reason". I'm considering homeopathic remedies simply to get him to swallow tablets with water eight times a day.

There you go, enjoy that information.

hazeyjane · 10/02/2018 17:36

I'm glad your ds has eaten his buns.

I'm also glad this thread has been supportive. It is horrible to be worrying so much about your child, and looking over your shoulder worrying what people will think.

Ds has a restricted diet (not as restricted as your ds), and only eats tiny amounts, because of gastro issues. He hasn't grown for a year, so he has a fortified juice, which we manage to mix with orange juice. I am terrified of a day when he possibly won't drink this (he rejected all the other samples if fortified food). If he has to have a tube then so be it, but I really hope we can avoid this.

Good luck and Flowers

ItsAllABitStrangeReally · 10/02/2018 17:37

Is it the burger buns he likes or the fact it's Mcdonalds op ??

Just thinking it could be worth seeing if he'd eat some of the other foods on his list in there. I'm sure the staff won't mind. Flowers

TheFirstMrsDV · 10/02/2018 17:37

Its fine OP
Battling with food will increase his anxieties.
Try and keep it relaxed (Lol, yeah I know).

My DD had cancer and wouldn't eat. I used to go out at midnight to get her McDonalds. I used to have the calorie count of all their food memorised.

My DS is autistic. He ate when he was little. Now his diet is awful (by other's standards). He doesn't eat with us. He doesn't have set meals.
Better that than what we were dealing with when we tried to insist he ate with the family

Qvar · 10/02/2018 17:37

Kick-ass angel, my son likes a baguette stuffed with smoked salmon and stilton cheese, thickly sliced.

It's rather nauseating to watch but he likes it.

SluttyButty · 10/02/2018 17:38

My DS is ASD, I’m thinking of buying shares in Aldi pizzas because he eats so many of them. Parents of children with issues should do what they need to do to survive with no judgement from anyone.

Jux · 10/02/2018 17:38

Is he drinking?

Whatever he eats, give him, of course. No guilt.

zzzzz · 10/02/2018 17:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotMeNoNo · 10/02/2018 22:27

I can't believe there are so many of us with the same food battles - are there any other discussions? Most of the fussy eater advice seems to be aimed at toddlers not older children with underlying issues.

zzzzz · 10/02/2018 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wolfiefan · 10/02/2018 23:55

Your child needs to eat. This isn't an ordinary case of "leave it long enough and they will eat the incredibly healthy meal you have slaved over!"
Do what's needed. Judgy pants be damned!

Fruitbat1980 · 10/02/2018 23:56

Christ on a bicycle you are doing an awesome job. Give the boy whatever ha fancies. At this point all goodness is goodness. You are dealing with a tricky situation. Do not let anyone tell you it’s bad.

TathitiPete · 10/02/2018 23:59

Sounds like you already have a really good handle on what your son needs. Trust your instincts, it sounds like you're doing brilliantly Flowers

Wolfiefan · 11/02/2018 00:01

And Qvar? I am the judgiest of judgy pants! Nope. Coffee and salmon and Stilton. Can't judge.
Actually sounds rather good! This isn't young people being fussy. If you're getting liquid and calories and any kind of nutrition down them then you're doing an awesome job in difficult conditions.

Leeds2 · 11/02/2018 01:06

You are doing a really good job, OP.

SilverBirchTree · 11/02/2018 05:46

OP you are a wonderful mum and your son is so lucky to have you Flowers

Do what you’ve got to do, and don’t beat yourself up over it.

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