To fantasise about being laid up for six weeks with a broken leg?

[JockTamsonsBairns]

I'm only half joking.
I'm mid-40's and, I guess like so many others this age, am into that juggling stage of young children, elderly parents, career, trying to run a household, etc etc.
I've got 3 DC's, 19, 10 & 8. 19yo away at uni, reasonably self sufficient these days. 10 and 8 year olds in the usual whirl of homework projects, extra curricular clubs, battles about screens, squabbling with each other fairly constantly. My mum is 80, recently had a four month stay in hospital but is now back home. She's quite possibly not fit enough to be home, but she wasn't ill enough to stay in hospital and refused point blank a nursing home placement. DF died many years ago, so she lives alone, and requires a lot of support. I'm 350 miles away though, so can't help much practically on a daily basis. I have four older DB's, but they're much too fucking Busy and Important to concern themselves with any of that (that's a whole new thread, and not really relevant to this one).
On top of this, I'm trying to maintain some semblance of a career. I work full time, but not senior enough to dictate my own working diary or anything. To be fair, my employer was fantastic when my DM was in intensive care for five weeks - I was given plenty of leeway for time off to go and visit. But, now she's home, I've had to get refocused on my job. Which is fair enough of course.
I do have a DH, works long (ish) hours - he's out of the house 7am-7pm, with the odd bit of travel thrown in. He does do his fair share of grudge work, but could probably do more of the "thinking" work iykwim? For eg, I very much doubt he knows what day the DC's have PE, so wouldn't take it upon himself to organise their kit. Similarly, I seriously doubt he's been spending any time on ebay lately, trying to cobble together a couple of costumes for World Book Day. So, yes, he could do more. But, we're both struggling with zero family help, so I don't want to be too harsh on him.

AIBU to dream about breaking my leg or suchlike? To wish I could just lay back on the sofa for six weeks in recovery, read a few novels, watch all the stuff on the Sky Planner which has been filling up for months, and just be brought things? Tea and snacks on a tray maybe? I'm not asking for much!

I read a book recently (the four pillars of health) that talked about this exact problem of being caught in a relentless cycle of just keeping the plates spinning. It really made me think about what DH and I can do to take some time for ourselves and improve our quality of life. I’d recommend it, lots of good ideas of small changes related to relaxation and sleep that can help.

I'm currently 'working from home' with a broken foot. 6 weeks and counting! Absolute BLISS!

Going to work hurts when you need to lie down for a week and watch Cagney and Lacey.

I'm still having physio after a broken leg with complications last autumn. MN was wonderful, but I was generally so bored in the end. I don't actually watch much television, and I ran out of books I wanted to read. Most of all I missed driving. This is a rural area with awful public transport and even though friends were lovely and came round often I felt so trapped.

I did get lent a roadworthy mobility scooter after a couple of weeks, this helped a lot. Just getting out the house into the sunshine or round to the shops so I could choose my own food.

But I do get why some of us dream about an enforced 'holiday' that no one can question!

I can say, hand on heart, that the 7 weeks i had off after a hysterectomy (dc were 6, 16 and 18) were some of the best days i have had for years.

You need this book OP www.amazon.co.uk/Woman-who-Went-Bed-Year/dp/0141399643?tag=mumsnetforum-21

YANBU.

Isn't it normal to fantasize about throwing yourself under a bus, or down the stairs or driving into a wall, etc?

4 weeks complete bed rest in a morphine haze sounds idyllic to me. Not sure anyone would notice I was fine, but that's a different story.

I find threads like this quite upsetting and they do crop up quite a lot

Honestly if I had to go through anything like injury and recovery again I think I'll just take all the pills

And that's not a joke.

It then makes me think that if people think their life is that bad they'd want a major injury....WTAF.

AJP yy, I look back on my post hysterectomy recovery as a mini holiday. My home paperwork even got filed away properly .

I had 3 months off work following major surgery. It wasn't nearly as much of a rest as it could have been - I still did most of the child organisation and I got bored very quickly and was desperate to go back to work.

I also didn't get on well with morphine...it just made me feel sick and I was still in pain.

Maybe stick to the fantasy of a brief prison stay instead

I spent most of 1986 in plaster, after G-d sent a black cab to break my left leg outside the Abbey. Not at all fun, although the compensation came in handy.

When I had my second baby she got admitted to the post natal ward for phototherapy because she was a bit jaundiced. I had to stay with her during her 48 hr admission. It was amazing - midwives brought my food and painkillers at regular intervals, I had really good 3G reception and unlimited data, husband looked after the 20 month old and lovingly brought me snacks because I was doing so well being in hospital and the baby was very sleepy due her jaundice so just hung out sleeping under her blue light requiring the occasional feed! It was so restful- I dream of those days. (Also baby was totally fine and never in danger health wise)

YANBU!

This post just goes to show how mentally exhausted we all are from the constant juggling of everyday life to have these thoughts. Without being sexist women are always thinking, I believe it's called the "third space" in our brain where those lists live. When you feel like a break sit down. So what if kitchen is messy overnight. You reading/watching telly/ whatever you do, will do more good than unloading dishwasher again.

I must admit I did used to wish I could have a spell in hospital (or something similar,) many years ago when my kids were little, because I used to do EVERYthing, and I was always the one called and expected to step up if one of the kids was ill at school or the childminders. And I worked too. AND looked after elderly parents..... DH rarely helped as he had a physical factory job, (and did shift work,) and was 'always tired....'

In addition, it was always expected that I should book leave from work, not DH, if the kids were off and the childminder was unavailable etc etc.

No-one ever expected DH to do it, and he always came up with the crock of bollocks that he can't get time off at short notice like I could.

When our kids were infant age, life was really stressful, with little family help or support, and not much surplus income. We both worked, and there was never a reprieve. As much as we loved the kids, there was no break.

There never seemed to be any down time, or time to relax, or any money to do so, as we were always forking out for something; usually house repairs, or car repairs, or something the kids needed, etc.. And it was more stressful for me, because - as I said - I did pretty much everything; housework, childcare, the works...

Then when the kids were around 7-8 y.o, DH had a weird kind of severe pain in his heart, and started clutching his chest, crying out loudly........ He told me to call 999, and so I did. They took him into hospital where he stayed for 10 days, as he claimed he had a bad heart.

He had test after test and they found nothing wrong.

I spent almost 2 weeks run ragged, doing everything, (although I pretty much did anyway!) while he lounged around in hospital being waited on hand and foot. I swear down, to this day, that there was nothing wrong with him, and he was laying it on to get a rest in hospital......... In addition, he was written off sick for a MONTH after that, and did FUCK-ALL for that whole month except get under my feet and dominate the tv!

Now, 15 years later, we are 50, and I took early retirement from my civil service job last year, after 33 years, and have a decent income from it. DH has hopped from job to job (5-10 years in each,) and doesn't have the luxury of early retirement. He is actually royally fucked off and incensed that he cannot retire til 60 at the earliest. He doesn't resent ME having finished work, he is just annoyed that he can't finish as well.

Well after 33 years of work, looking after elderly parents (they passed a few years ago now,) and looking after kids, and pretty much doing 95% of the childcare and everything in the home, and rarely getting a lie in; I now have a life of reading, writing stories, surfing the net, watching netflix, lying in til 10am, going for long walks and bike rides, having coffee and lunch with friends - or one of the kids - going horseriding, going to the cinema, going out taking photographs, crafting, tending to the garden, and doing whatever the fuck I want.

I deserve it too, after being everyone's handmaid for so many years. DH has to keep working another 10 years at least. And the kids are just starting their work lives and careers. It's now my time to relax and enjoy life, and my GOD I am enjoying it.

All good things to those who wait.

I mean, I enjoyed life raising the kids and love them to bits, and would never change anything if I could go back in time, but I was sometimes quite stressed and frazzled, and never had a minute to myself. I think most mums will relate.

I am loving having so much time to myself now, and see my adult children (who have left home now) a couple of times a week.

I shattered my patella(knee cap) a year ago.
6 months off work, 10 of those sealed in a really itchy full leg brace...... couldn't even rest on the sofa cause I couldn't get up 😂
Oddly I found myself really twitchy and just meh. And couldn't wait to get back to the little chores and stuff. Plus I had to pee in a jug cause I couldn't sit on a toilet! Poo had to wait till I had help to get up!

But yeah, I get the idea. Maybe you just need a couple of weeks with an unidentified illness that's not threatening but enough to give you a break.

I remember a story about a mother a few years ago, whose teenage children refused to go to school and the mother got a 5 day prison sentence as a result. She said it was the best, most relaxed 5 days of her life. I often think of her!

I broke my leg in November & damaged nerves in my foot. I'm still off work, can't drive & have no end date for my nerves recovering.

It was really difficult & I was in a lot of pain. When I got home, I couldn't get up & down the stairs. Couldn't wash & dress myself.

My poor dh was run ragged trying to get kids sorted & help me. Trying to get Christmas organised was a nightmare.

It's only been in the last few weeks that I've been able to look after myself again

The only good thing was being able to catch up on tv & Netflix !

I used to but then I did something as simple as ripping my big toenail off and suddenly realised that while I indeed got a 2 week break from housework, school run etc I instead spent the 2 weeks ranging from in mild pain (after pain killers) to absolute 'I'd rather give birth' pain everytime the duvet touched my toe. Dh had to get creative with 1 of dd's blocks and some tape as a sort of protection cup for my toe 😂😂 even now 2 years later it still hurts if u put too much pressure on it (like wen dd 'accidentally' stands on it)

I had D&V on Christmas Eve a few years ago. We were due to go to PILs but had to delay until Christmas morning so I could travel & when we got there I quarantined myself in our room away from elderly relatives. I felt dreadful but spent most of Christmas day in bed, was brought small portions of MIL's amazing food & watched DVDs. Genuinely my best Christmas ever, aside from the stomach cramps & missing out on socialising with the family!

@zeezee3

Wonderful story with an great ending. Glad your enjoying early retirement.

Well after posting this yesterday I had to go to the doctor for a weird rash and was diagnosed with shingles. I think I brought it on myself :(

I broke my ankle last year. I was lying in A&E with my foot hanging off the end of my leg, feeling such a sense of relief that I would now be off work for a while. I hadn't felt so calm and relaxed for ages. And that was without any painkillers.

I get it too. But be careful, I broke my foot when DS1 was a baby and it was a nightmare. Wait till the kids are at school is my advice.

So...I have had a broken ankle, whilst pregnant and with a toddler. It did provide more rest than I would have otherwise had, but I think you need to choose your ailment more carefully! The five days I had in hospital with a transverse lie baby were far more favourable!! Seriously though, never, ever suggest this thought to anyone in real life! I totally, totally agree with you, but would look daggers at you if you suggested it in real life! I do sometimes wonder whether, if it weren’t for the bits to come, whether I wouldn’t just keep having babies. People expect so much less of you when you have a newborn, as long as you can cope with everything being dictated by a non sleeping, milk extracting, human!