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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To fantasise about being laid up for six weeks with a broken leg?

103 replies

JockTamsonsBairns · 08/02/2018 23:25

I'm only half joking.
I'm mid-40's and, I guess like so many others this age, am into that juggling stage of young children, elderly parents, career, trying to run a household, etc etc.
I've got 3 DC's, 19, 10 & 8. 19yo away at uni, reasonably self sufficient these days. 10 and 8 year olds in the usual whirl of homework projects, extra curricular clubs, battles about screens, squabbling with each other fairly constantly. My mum is 80, recently had a four month stay in hospital but is now back home. She's quite possibly not fit enough to be home, but she wasn't ill enough to stay in hospital and refused point blank a nursing home placement. DF died many years ago, so she lives alone, and requires a lot of support. I'm 350 miles away though, so can't help much practically on a daily basis. I have four older DB's, but they're much too fucking Busy and Important to concern themselves with any of that (that's a whole new thread, and not really relevant to this one).
On top of this, I'm trying to maintain some semblance of a career. I work full time, but not senior enough to dictate my own working diary or anything. To be fair, my employer was fantastic when my DM was in intensive care for five weeks - I was given plenty of leeway for time off to go and visit. But, now she's home, I've had to get refocused on my job. Which is fair enough of course.
I do have a DH, works long (ish) hours - he's out of the house 7am-7pm, with the odd bit of travel thrown in. He does do his fair share of grudge work, but could probably do more of the "thinking" work iykwim? For eg, I very much doubt he knows what day the DC's have PE, so wouldn't take it upon himself to organise their kit. Similarly, I seriously doubt he's been spending any time on ebay lately, trying to cobble together a couple of costumes for World Book Day. So, yes, he could do more. But, we're both struggling with zero family help, so I don't want to be too harsh on him.

AIBU to dream about breaking my leg or suchlike? To wish I could just lay back on the sofa for six weeks in recovery, read a few novels, watch all the stuff on the Sky Planner which has been filling up for months, and just be brought things? Tea and snacks on a tray maybe? I'm not asking for much!

OP posts:

PurplePirate · 09/02/2018 06:50

I feel for you. I'm an introvert so I go crazy with constant demands on my time.

Three suggestions from me:

Hand over total responsibility for something to your husband.
Lower your standards, especially on things like world book day costumes!
Find 30 minutes a day of total solitude, maybe sit in your car during your lunch break?

MoodyTwo · 09/02/2018 06:50

Glittery - no I haven't actually, sorry I didn't mean to upset anyone.
My baby is EBF and I couldn't (well I could I suppose) have booked a travel lodge as he was up every 45 mins feeding.
My point was that the thought made me think about everything and set up changes to make my life better, such as co sleeping. (Even tho this is also frowned upon by some people I had to do what was best for myself and my baby)

InfiniteSheldon · 09/02/2018 06:57

I spent a month off after a minor leg op that cut deep to the bone. Four weeks before it was safe to walk. It was boring, really boring. Dh cooking was pretty awful Dogs hardly got walked, he forgot to leave me lunch, drinks snacks so often I lost weight. On the upside I did a lot of crochet and watched a lot of Netflix. and didnt have to shower or wash my hair

Roomba · 09/02/2018 07:05

Oh god, yes. When DS2 was tiny and waking me constantly, I was in the process of splitting up with my ex, my dad was seriously ill and DS1 needed all my attention too - I used to dream of getting an injury that wasn't too painful or life threatening, but confined me to bed for several weeks. Getting a short sentence in prison I quite fancied too

Then I actually got ill and was admitted to hospital. It just made everything ten times as shit, so my fantasies evaporated at that point really. But I remember that feeling so well.

Roomba · 09/02/2018 07:11

Just remembered years ago a colleague who did fracture his leg while on a skiing holiday. He was full of jokes about the extra time off he'd got, until our company told him his sick leave would be unpaid as he'd put himself at risk of harm. So I wouldn't recommend a skiing accident.

I read the Sue Townshend book about the woman who goes to bed for a whole year after she's done with raising kids etc. and I've told everyone that's what I'm doing when they leave home. No doubt there'll just be some other stresses to deal with by then though.

baublegirl454 · 09/02/2018 07:18

My husband had to have both big toenails removed a few years ago. Despite the pain, he describes it as one of the best weeks of his life He basically sat on the sofa with his feet up playing xbox & watching films, and I waited on him. I did point out that I might have enjoyed that level of service after my C sections but he missed the point. I don't think you're being U OP, sounds like u definitely need some breathing space

wtf2015 · 09/02/2018 07:20

Having had a serious accident resulting in a broken leg and 2 weeks in hospital I would happily repeat the experience - ex H had the kids and the dog. I had morphine and books. No cooking, shopping, stress, work etc etc. Kids would visit and be lovely, when I got tired or they were difficult they left. 2 weeks of heaven.

Polarbearflavour · 09/02/2018 07:28

I broke my elbow last year. Bed all day with a book, lots of naps, lots of Netflix.

Els1e · 09/02/2018 07:33

I know what you mean. I’ve been there (not the broken leg, the fantasising about an enforced rest). Love the prison thoughts. But seriously, I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I requested flexible working and dropped to a four day week. Best decision I made. It just gave me that bit extra time.

ComeOnGordon · 09/02/2018 07:34

You need to narrow your fantasy to a fractured fibula. It still takes 6 weeks to heal but it’s not a weight bearing bone & doesn’t attach to joints so you wouldn’t need to worry about arthritis afterwards.

Crunchymum · 09/02/2018 07:34

I enjoy dentist / Dr appointments as they are a break

I relished a recent GTT as it meant I had to sit still for 2 hours. Something I never, ever manage to do.

My kids are younger and it's full on.

Am almost sad I'm now on ML as work was also a welcome break for me.

It's not forever though and it's half term next week

Glitteryfrog · 09/02/2018 07:36

@MoodyTwo you didn't upset me... You amused me.

Annab1983 · 09/02/2018 07:38

I have just spent most of the night awake crying due to pain after surgery for a broken ankle and contemplating not being able to lift or care for my newborn baby or older child properly for the next 6 weeks, I am absolutely devastated that I can't do anything, the mental load is still there in fact it is harder as have to arrange the house/ child care without me being able to be a participant.. if you are struggling you need to have a think about what you can change, your hours perhaps, your DH's contribution or maybe just a mental shift i.e. This is a temporary phase of your life and take a little time for yourself each week with yoga or something.. I was in the newborn sleeplessness phase and wishing for one night in a hotel by myself.. now I fantastise about not having a commode my DH has to empty and getting back to the daily grind, including the night feeds..be careful what you wish for!

liz70 · 09/02/2018 07:41

Break my ankle, require surgery, spend six weeks in plaster then take another 18 months to to 2 years for it to feel vaguely normal again, and still get aches and twinges a decade later, and experience severe pain if my mangled, permanently misshapen bone is knocked at the side - again? Mmm, I'll give that a miss, thanks.

Peachsnowpop · 09/02/2018 07:47

Totally NBU ... my fantasy is that I collapse through exhaustion and I'm signed off for several weeks or months. All my family then actually realise the stress/strain/pressure I'm under from doing everything inc working 2 jobs, managing appts for my SEN child, having a H who in effect is another child and has undiagnosed MH problems and my neighbour, who is a v good friend, but is extremely demanding of all my free time.

toolonglurking · 09/02/2018 08:09

I got to a point a few years ago (before children) that I fantasised about getting hit by a bus, just so I could have a break from work and life. Once I realised that wasn't an OK thing to be thinking I saw a counselor life couldn't be more different now!

iklboo · 09/02/2018 08:13

Reading on MN I think I'd make a fortune opening a hotel / b&b for MNers to get away for a night or two

Scabbersley · 09/02/2018 08:17

I had a knee operation and had to spend 10 days in bed. It was absolutely marvellous.

Juancornetto · 09/02/2018 08:24

I had a day in bed with a stomach bug a couple of weeks ago. Besides feeling awful it was a lovely day
And I do quite fancy a boob job, not because I want better boobs (they are tiny but it doesn't really bother me) but because it would mean I'd get a stay in hospital for a non scary reason

Greenteandchives · 09/02/2018 08:34

I was off work for three months last year following surgery. I looked forward to the break. I work in the NHS and astonishingly was climbing the walls to get back to work. The trouble is when you have always worked, or been exhausted from working/family you are not used to finding things to do to occupy your time, and you are not fit enough to do some things anyway. There is only so much tv and reading that is bearable.

MrsMaxwell · 09/02/2018 08:37

I would like everyone else to piss off and leave me in the house alone - 2 adult children plus partners, 16 year old who lives in his room, DH in the forces and never here when I actually need him plus 3 steps kids - I dream of going away for a weekend and leaving the house empty, no one messing up my kitchen sides, eating all the food and using all the gas and electric. That would be bloody bliss

BrownTurkey · 09/02/2018 08:42

Your treadmill does sound relentless - maybe try to plan a break in for you somehow, with the rationale that it will help you keep doing what you do.

whoareyoukidding · 09/02/2018 08:53

It's funny: when I was younger I felt pretty much as everyone on here, and for the same reasons. Fast forward and now that I'm coming to the end of my working life and kids all grown up, I see a vast chasm of emptiness ahead of me once I retire. I wonder what the ideal state for us really is.

splendide · 09/02/2018 09:06

I will own up to having really enjoyed having my gallbladder out last year. I had a nice comfy stay in hospital (just one night) in a pleasant morphine haze. Then two weeks off work and lots of rest and tv. Honestly, I’d certainly do it again.

StopCallingMeShirley · 09/02/2018 09:16

I broke a toe at the new year. The day I did it was marvellous. I spent all afternoon high as a kite on pain killers, on the sofa with Netflix. Sadly, by the next day I could get flip flops on and was back to real life.

I have often fantasised about an injury serious enough to justify time off the treadmill of life, but not so bad that it would cause too much pain.

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