To be SO jealous of my pregnant friends

[peachblossom123]

I am 33, married for 2.5 years (but together for 10) and very happy in my marriage. But I am just so miserably jealous of my pregnant friends and friends who have children already.

I am just so ready to be a mum and everyone, absolutely everyone around me is either pregnant or already a mum. Every single friend of mine in my life has a baby or is now pregnant - I am the only one left without a child. My single friends have even had children before me. Babies are around me everywhere. My heart breaks that little bit more when a new pregnancy is announced.

My best friend announced she was pregnant in November. I was devastated, so happy for her, but devastated. I had no idea they were even trying. We had always promised each other we would tell each other when we going to start trying and wouldn't it be amazing to do it around the same time! Now she is part of the mummy club and I'm not.

My heart even breaks when I see twenty-something Z-list celebrities announcing their pregnancies in the Daily Mail now. It's that bad.

I never thought I would be in my mid-thirties and the last of my friends to start a family.

My husband knows how I feel and he says he is nearly ready to start trying but not until the end of the year. I'll be 34 by then. Starting a family occupies my mind every single day and I am just getting more and more miserable and bitter. I feel so lonely and I can't talk to anyone about it. I would never push my husband to start trying as I need him to be 100% ready.

What can I do to take my mind of it? Maybe get a dog?! Take up a new hobby!? Tell myself to get a grip!?

If you don’t start trying until the end of the year it could take months or years to conceive. If it’s upsetting you this much I think you need to discuss with your OH so he knows how you feel. I would hate to make my DH feel the way you do.

OP I certainly hear where you're coming re everyone else seemingly pregnant and how it makes you feel and wonder if things will ever happen for you.

My OH was v slow to agree to TTC and I did wonder if we would ever get to that point!

I was 34 when I conceived my first- had taken the pill for over a decade and became pregnant straight after stopping it, no period. I was 35 when the baby was born.

Don't panic too much re age but equally I think you need to talk more with your DH as it's obviously affecting you deeply.

Your feelings are perfectly valid, it's such an emotive thing

I started TTC the month I turned 33. Took me 7 months to conceive then had MC at 8 weeks. Then it took me another 7-8 months to conceive again. When I finally had my first child I was 35. Like you, my husband also wanted to wait. I understand that getting pregnant on your first month TTC is possible but, what if it takes you months, or even years to conceive?

Regardless, if I were you now, start tracking your cycles. Use OPK's to find out where in your cycle you ovulate. Take care of your body so you can provide the optimum environment to support conception and pregnancy. Just know as much as you can to be successful when you do start TTC. With the way you're feeling now it'll be so much worse when you are actually TTC and people around you are getting pregnant and you aren't (assuming you don't get pregnant right away).

How do either of you know he'll be 100% ready at the end of this year?

Hmm i would show him how fertility declines a lot once you are 35 snd say you need to crack on. It would be completely normal at your age for it to take a year anyway.

we both want children, he definitely does for sure. We talk about it a lot and are saving for the future. We joke about silly baby names and think about fun future family holidays

A lot of talk and excuses.

Hey OP. 3 years down the line, how are things going? Feeling in a similar position and would be great to hear things have looked up .