Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Day trips with baby

56 replies

BeepBoopBeepBoop · 08/02/2018 11:23

I am the first of any of my friends to have a baby although DH has a few friends with older children (preschool age). Both friends & family made the initial first trip to our home to visit DC although since around 5 months have suggested we come to them. For the main area we'd have to travel to, this entails a 15-20 minute walk to the train station, an hour train journey followed by a 30 minute tube journey. My friends have suggested a few times I could come for a girly day out and bring DC which means I would have to do the train/tube journey alone with DC, buggy & a day's worth of supplies. Another friend has recently moved away & has asked me to come alone to visit with DC (DH is working) & this means either an hour car journey (although with traffic can be much more) or 90 minute train journey with 2 changes. Again this would be for a day trip with no option to stay overnight. Friend thinks it is reasonable not to drive as can't tend to baby for feeds etc but train is doable.

Would you take a baby on this length of journey for a day out alone using public transport? How far would you travel alone in a car for a meet up with a friend with a baby? We don't have anywhere to stay at the other end so it isn't an option to stay overnight. I've missed a few meet ups because I'm worried about the journey. (Meet ups are frequently when DH is working or has other plans so if I go, there is usually no option not to bring DC). I don't want to be that person who insists people travel to me if I'm being unreasonable and should be able to do this journey. I frequently travel up to 30 minutes in the car to meet up with new mum friends I've made & usually have to stop halfway to feed DC who always seems to want milk during car journeys even if prior feeds are timed so one isn't due.

DH has said he feels this journey is too long for DC to do twice in a day even if we both were available to come. I feel it would probably be ok if both DH & I travelled together but not alone. We do travel 90 minutes in the car to visit family when there is an option to stay overnight- it is the public transport & doing the journey twice in one day which is the issue.

Are we being unreasonable? I don't want to be that person who misses meet ups or insists people travel to us if I should be able to do this journey alone.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 08/02/2018 17:15

And you didn't think all those health concerns might be relevant? Grin

BertrandRussell · 08/02/2018 17:16

But I still maintain it is up to you-absolutely none of your husband's business.

Original poster
BeepBoopBeepBoop · 08/02/2018 17:26

@BertrandRussell sorry I don't think my post was very clear. I mean if he were to join me or it were him travelling alone, he wouldn't be happy travelling with DC on public transport for so long. Not that he tries to limit what I do alone with DC when he's not joining us.

I just didn't want the focus to be on DC's health issues & not travel advice for a baby on public transport of around the same age. Most discussions I try to have with other mums on "normal" baby topics end up side tracked or swayed because of them so when they're not relevant I try not to bring them into things so I can have some "normal" advice or opinions. They aren't really relevant to our ability to travel now but they are why we haven't travelled in the past.

Anyway thank you everyone for your input Smile

OP posts:
mirime · 08/02/2018 17:29

I wouldn't have done it on public transport. When DS was around four or five months he was feeding hourly in the day and going out was exhausting. Just getting ready to go out was exhausting and a struggle.

Notso · 08/02/2018 17:32

After the massive drip feed Hmm Grin I'd say you shouldn't have to do this every two weeks assuming your not alternating weekly.
I've travelled all over the place by public transport with a buggy as I found slings and more than one child were a pita on more than a short walk. Sometimes it's been gruelling other times it's lovely. I'm not you though. If you don't want to you don't have to and your friends should understand. Would they be open to meeting halfway somewhere?

FancyNewBeesly · 08/02/2018 17:34

Agreed that it is SO much easier with a small baby than a toddler - trust me, once they turn about 1, going and doing anything becomes much harder.

Honestly, it’s only one baby - I would do it. I have twins and the amount of stuff and size / weight of double buggy makes public transport a bloody nightmare!

And you really don’t need to stop during a 30 minute drive to feed the baby - feed before you leave, they’ll survive!

Lules · 08/02/2018 17:37

I would definitely do it. I echo others that it gets a lot harder when they’re toddlers. I think public transport is easier than driving as you can feed/cuddle when you want.

FancyNewBeesly · 08/02/2018 17:39

Just seen your follow up comments...

One of my twins has a serious illness, spent months in nicu etc so I get it, it’s daunting. He also has to eat frequently to keep him stable, but not every hour so if we have to make a journey in the car then I do hold on until we get where we are going (although I guess with two they’ve learned that sometimes they have to wait). Mine didn’t like the car initially but it’s probably more that they don’t like the car than hunger, especially if they’ve just fed. I just used to talk to / sing to them and they’d settle eventually. Obviously you can’t really let them cry themselves sick so it depends on the baby.

Can your friends not at least meet you at the end of your train journey so you don’t have to do the tube part?

Pengggwn · 08/02/2018 17:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lookingforthecorkscrew · 08/02/2018 17:40

It sounds to me like you don't really want to do it. So don't. Or do it less often.

MargaretCabbage · 08/02/2018 17:40

I travelled around quite a bit on the train with my babies (mostly to meet friends I’d made on the MN antenatal threads!). I quite like train journeys, I found people were helpful getting the buggy on and off and there was always a place to park it on the local trains. I found the thought of travelling far from home daunting at first, but I enjoyed getting out and about.

If you’d like to go, I think it’s worth a try but if you don’t fancy it that’s fine too.

KindergartenKop · 08/02/2018 17:42

I would do this journey, but only occasionally. As toddlers they can get bored travelling.

llangennith · 08/02/2018 17:45

I’m really impressed, and a bit surprised, at all these MNetters who think nothing of traipsing around whether walking, travelling on the bus or train or whatever just to meet up with a friend and then do the whole journey home again.
Can’t you find friends locally through a playgroup so your DC can also have company and meet up with these far away friends in the evening or when your DC is older?

KindergartenKop · 08/02/2018 17:45

I once went to visit a friend with a 6 week old and a 2.5 yo. 20 min walk, 20 min bus, 20 min tube, 10 min walk.
I left as soon as I had fed the baby and all the connections were perfect and I turned up an hour early! It's gone down as a legend!( They didn't visit me because they had a week old baby and a 3 yo).

RadioGaGoo · 08/02/2018 17:45

I agree with you OP. I would stop the car and nurse my DS if he needed it as it is thr only thing I have that will calm him down in the car if he does start to scream.

Dairymilkmuncher · 08/02/2018 17:48

Travel as much as you can with the little one because it will become second nature to you both, if it's just awful and makes the day trips not worth doing then least you'll know...

Honestly though health concerns or not I've had myself and a lot of friends worried about trains and flights on their own with kids and in a real panic looking for all sorts of aids to help them on their way and it's always worked out in the end

Be prepared for every eventuality, don't leave without your purse and a charged phone, have calpol and all the spare dummies you'll be fine!

lostherenow · 08/02/2018 17:50

We went to London for the day when my youngest was 4 weeks old and eldest was nearly 3. 20mins drive to station, 1hr 40 on the train then about 30mins on another train, then about 10 mins walk. We didn't use a sling but did use a collapsable but padded buggy rather than a travel system so fairly easy to fold. It was a nice day. However the idea of doing it every fortnight would be awful. Why if you do it once would you be expected to do it regularly?

user1471451355 · 08/02/2018 17:51

This is THE most portable age. When DC1 was a baby we were a minimum of an hour drive just from the nearest store and I travelled quite a lot with her to see family and friends also. Much easier then than now that she’s 3 and opinionated.
But. If you don’t want to, don’t. You certainly don’t have to. I think I’d at least give it a try once though, it may be much easier than you’re imagining and increase your confidence for future trips.

Amanduh · 08/02/2018 18:05

We have travelled lots and often with baby from newborn. It’s not a problem really.

When you travel 30 minutes by car you stop halfway to feed?! Even if they’ve fed right before you left? That’s insane. By the time you’ve found somewhere to stop in, got out and sorted baby and fed, surely it would be easier to just drive the 15 mins to the destination 😂

coffeeforone · 08/02/2018 18:06

Yes I would at this age. Smaller babies are very portable. I used to go into London (90-2hrs mins incl train and tube to visit friends etc regularly, every couple of weeks. It gets a bit more difficult when they turn 1 and start protesting. I also found flights, and long car journeys much easier between 3 and 12 months, it gets more difficult after 1.

No I 100% wouldn’t stop a car journey to feed baby if I’m going to be there in 30 mins. Just make sure baby has a feed before you put in car. I’d maybe stop to offer a dummy but that’s it.

Glitterbaby17 · 08/02/2018 18:12

I’ve taken DD who is 8 months on a few journeys/days out of this length but wouldn’t do it once a fortnight.

A few tips:

  • look at the step free tube map to see what your route is like - if there are lifts or escalators much easier than some stations just with stairs
  • thermos of coffee for the train is nice
  • I tried to time it we left after nap and feed so in good mood then she’s nap later in the journey

Good luck!

MiddleClassProblem · 08/02/2018 18:38

But the drip feed is relevant to how people would make the decision. The health thing we don’t know how it effects you but the fortnightly is a huge part of it.

MargaretCavendish · 08/02/2018 19:09

When our son was a small baby he had to work in Richmond for a year

Gosh, that's a bit harsh Grin

juddyrockingcloggs · 08/02/2018 19:15

When our son was a small baby he had to work in Richmond for a year

Gosh, that's a bit harsh 

Hahaha! He had to earn his keep!

I meant DH! DH had to work in Richmond! Grin

Honeycombcrunch · 08/02/2018 19:37

A good compromise is to suggest meeting half way but I still wouldn't expect to travel every fortnight. I took my DCs on trains when they were babies but only did it once or twice because I found it exhausting.

It's fine to say the journey is too much for you and DS at the moment. If your friends are decent people they will understand.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.