How would you feel if..

[cleanthehouse]

Your MIL said to DH in front of you " I'll bring so and so with me on Thursday, make sure the house is clean" ? Mind you my house is always clean, DH does nothing and she knows I'm the one who does everything?

I'm a regular but NCed for this

I would tell her to sod off and don’t bother coming.

Or ask her if she knows where all the cleaning products are so she can get cleaning to her specifications the day before.

AIBU to feel insulted? DH obviously doesn't think it's an insult and it's a normal thing to say.

Why does she feel able to bring someone to your home? Cf on both counts.

I'd tell her to go elsewhere

I wouldn't let her in!

I think you and DH need to go out on Thursday. Telling you to clean for her guest is a power play.

I'd be pissed. Who wouldn't be? And I would absolutely not have a clean house on that day.

Who exactly is this 'such a body' she's bringing to your home. The Queen or something

I’d make sure the house is sparkling. Fresh flowers. Everything.

Then I’d take a shit and not flush. (Chances are if you have small children this will already happen.)

Oh and divide all tasks between you from now on so you get equal spare time. He doesn’t sound much of a catch though if he expects you to do the housework and be treated with disrespect by his Mother.

Oh I'd have called her on it INSTANTLY!

"What's it got to do with you how clean my house is? I might shit on the floor now you've said that."

Or something like that.

I'd be really offended and call her out on it there and then!

ajaslipstick god, you're more feisty than me ;)

Yanbu. Who's she bringing around? nosey

It's the "I'll bring so and so with me on Thursday" that's got my goat. Like she's doing a favor

If she said to dh I’d say yes dh , you had better make sure the house is clean. And say to mil I can’t promise anything mind, you know he’s not really housetrained.

I'd leave the place in a state just to prove a point. No one tells me what to do in my own home.

Very very rude behaviour!

I think I would reply 'you best pop in early and get on with it'

I would have said something like "well maybe you better teach your ds how clean you want it cos i am sick of doing it all myself and am going on strike."😀
Bloody cheek who is she inviting round to your house? Did she ask if it was ok to do so or if it was convenient for you?

It is a throw away comment; if you get offended at any slight remark you will not have a relationship with her. I would say it about my own house; my mum would say it, I might be a bit miffed but I would move on quickly.

I wouldn't be bothered. I don't really care that much what other people think of my house one way or another.
My mil was tactless and said worse things than that. I don't see the point of being offended. I wouldn't see it as my problem...it's your husband's.

My mum once had relatives visiting and rang to ask if she could bring them over to us for a cuppa. She asked "is your house tidy?" when I said that it was a wet weekend and the kids had got their toys out, so not really, no. She said "oh, OK - we'll leave it. I'll take them for a coffee at the garden centre instead". My parent's house is normal not showhome tidy, but mum feels the need to rush around like a blue arsed fly cleaning and tidying whenever any people visit, which was always very stressful as a kid. Now she's trying to project those anxieties onto me!

It’s a family member she’s bringing, this person is very judgemental and loves to talk so does MIL and SIL. I don’t like his family, long story but so many things has happened over the years that I’ve just distanced myself from them. This is one of the reasons why I’m leaving him Categoric, I don’t feel like my home is my home. I have no say in who comes to the house, MIL comes and goes as she pleases I see her 2-3 times a week and not just for an hour or two no she stays for hours and hours, we’re talking 5-7 hours she’ll come at 1pm and leave at 7pm sometimes 8pm. No only does she come so often but she also brings people with her. One time she brought her sister round and she didn’t even tell us. When I tell DH how I feel about it, he always makes me feel like I’m being unreasonable, makes me feel like I’m in the wrong etc.
He’s lazy, doesn’t help with housework or children. We have 3 DC, eldest is school age and never has he changed a nappy or been up at night for night feeds. It’s all been on me, I’ve done everything. I clean, cook and everything that the kids wants or needs I get it.

I can’t wait to move out and have my own house where I don’t have to worry about if MIL will come to today or not. She comes unannounced sometimes, I’ll sit in my dressing gown with a cuppa on Saturday morning and I get a knock on the door I’m like arghh 😞. She never invites us to her house, she has no social life I feel like she uses our house as an excuse to get out, to have something to do. She has said certain things in the past that made me think this.
I just feel like I’m living on eggshells here.