To have my birth how I want?!?

[ftmtb]

When I give birth I want it to just be me and my OH, and then I want it to stay just us for a good few hours AT LEAST afterwards before anyone visits... for the first feed and all of that.

I feel like it's time we'll never get back and I want me and my OH to enjoy those first few hours with our baby together.

My family and OH seem to think this is an awful thing

My mum is begging to be there even though I know she will badger me and annoy me and I'll end up snapping and she will sulk

My OH wants his mum there which even though we get on well I don't want her there while I'm giving birth!!!

It's both our parents first grandchild so I get it's a big deal but it's also my first baby and I don't want any stress and I want to do it how I want... AIBU????

[GinUnicorn]

To echo everyone it's entirely your choice. No one should make you feel guilty or put pressure on you. Stick to your guns and ignore x

[IWouldLikeToKnow]

I'm really close to my family but there is no way anyone but my husband was going to be there. We didn't tell anyone tell after the event that I was even in the hospital. I was in for >30hrs before baby came. I even spoke to them on the phone but didn't let on where I was. Not that they were going to come to the hospital (they knew not to) but I couldn't deal with the calls and texts that would have followed had they known

[expatinscotland]

I wouldn't even have him there if he has that attitude.

[Idratherhaveacupoftea]

I'm old, no dads allowed at the birth. I had a GP birth, I don't think they do them anymore. My lovely GP delivered mine along with midwives. Then he visited me for the first 3 days in hospital then was on the doorstep when I arrived home to make sure everything was ok. Can you imagine that nowadays? I saw one on One Born Every Minute when her dad was there!!!! Just No.

[TheWernethWife]

Gina when I had my daughter I only had two midwives in the room, it was a lovely experience. My husband got on my nerves waffling and interfering so I told him to fuck off home and come back when it was over. If he hadn't I would have got off the bloody bed and throttled him

[SharronNeedles]

I am of the opinion that you get to decide who is in the room with you as it is your vagina. Simple as. However, I do believe that should your OH want his parents in the building (ie. Waiting room, hospital cafe etc) then it would be very unreasonable to try and stop this. I technically died during birth and my DH having his mum there helped him through that. She was able to offer some comfort to him when he felt utterly helpless.
That being said, having them in the building does not mean they get to come in to visit until you have decided you are ready.
With regards to your parents, well they need to learn to listen to you now. If they try and fight you on this, just imagine how they'll be when it comes to parenting!

Finally, please please please do not plan your birth too much. Things happen and you need to be able to go with the flow and not be too disappointed if things go differently. The ultimate goal is to get baby out safely and you do literally whatever it takes. Don't put pressure on yourself.

[IlikemyTeahot]

YANBU just tell the staff you only want 1 person with you. It's not a show ffs. I had everyone in with my first and I felt humiliated and unable to focus

[KatharinaRosalie]

Personal choice but even if they stay out of the room, i would have been very stressed if I knew there was a bunch of relatives sitting in the waiting room, eagerly staring at the door for news. And I would have felt pressured to let them come in 'for just a second, they've been here for hours etc etc'

[couldnteatawholeone]

I offered to compromise with OH over something pregnancy/labour related. The compromise was: he inserts coconut wrapped in Velcro up his anus and I push baby out. If he isn't willing then that's his choice and I get my way. And I told him I'm not joking.