Do you request a female doctor/nurse to do your smear test?

[catscan]

Just that really.

"Hounding" is not a serious allegation on AIBU, someone says it every single day I can't imagine AIBU without it!

I really don't mind if the person is male or female, but I do mind that they are competent and kind.

One last rebuttal. That acknowledgment post was to do with my assault story. You didn’t acknowledge it at all or the others who bravely shared theirs, which I thought was odd seeing as it was hugely relevant to my personal reason for requesting a female. My agenda post was regarding the fact that you never stated your own position in the OP on the feminist board, so it was hard to initially determine if was just some kind of “terf goading” excercise, which happens frequently over there. Clearly you have since clarified your position, so that suspicion no longer holds.

Rat -Really? I didn't know that. It seems there is some history between Cat and Lady anyway which I know nothing about.

Amd now I shall move on.

No history at all Endo, really.

Ok... NOW I am flouncing...

Endo I don't know what's going on!

But it's true about AIBU.

Hmmmm, I have always preferred female gynecologist people, but it's not coz I think men are going to 'sexually assault me.' Indeed, I do know (like many women,) that the vast majority of men are not sexual deviants!!

For me, it's more because of embarrassment. I was shy and embarrassed enough at flashing my foof in front of FEMALES, but no way would I want to flash it in front of men.

After having kids, I became less shy or embarrassed or bothered, but still prefer females. As has been said, they are usually more gentle.

Same with dentists.

Without a shadow of a doubt, every female dentist I have been to is soft and gentle and I can barely feel a thing. Men are more 'rough...' Probably not deliberate, maybe they don't know their own strength, idk! But no, I don't want a man doing my smear - and I don't want a male to female trans doing it either, as they would still have the man's strength.

If you don't like the look of a HCP, you can always refuse. No one can touch you without your consent - it is called assault. Therefore, you can always leave the room. Whether or not the practice will arrange for another HCP depends on whether another suitable person is available.

I am guessing that if I needed to stand down on arrival, I'd apologise and have a quiet word with the practice manager without giving specific reasons about 'feeling uncomfortable' and hope they will re-arrange appropriately. Their hands might be more tied if I went around giving inflammatory reasons that I don't want to be touched by [ xxx ].

I think HCP should be considerate and gentle and I think that applies to males and females. I've had most good experiences with male and females but the occasional bad experience with male and female HCPs. I don't think I could generalise and say one is more likely to be gentle than the other. An example would be taking blood, it has always been a struggle to get a blood sample from me, deep veins or something. Anyway it was the one procedure I have always dreaded because I have had such bad experiences but at my current surgery there is one male doctor who is brilliant, he took my blood when none of the nurses could get any and it was painless. I always wanted him to do my blood tests. A new HCA started at the surgery, she isn't a nurse or doctor and just takes blood tests, known as The Vampire to all of us who know and love her and she is brilliant, gets blood out of me and it is painless and I don't end up covered in bruises. So lots of male & females couldn't do it but one male and one female could. Before this woman started at the surgery my experience was that men were better and more gentle taking my blood as that was my experience but she has proved that wrong.

Obviously a smear is different because some people will have good reason to prefer a woman.

blueshoes I think that's really important and should be made clear to everyone, especially young women who might be nervous.

But then there might be people who would be uncomfortable being treated by a person of a certain race or religion too, for various reasons, but that couldn't be given as a reason... I can see why it's a difficult balancing act for the NHS and why they don't seem to have an official line on it.

Always had a female nurse and I've been asked if I'd like a chaperone too the last couple of times.
I don't think I'd object to a male nurse or Dr though.

That can be given as a reason catscan, although it would arguably be better to give no reason at all - which is also completely okay.

You could be a mahoosive homophobe and not want a certain doctor because you were convinced they "looked at you funny". And my understanding is that they would still go out of their way to find an alternative for you.

If, say, there is literally only one person capable or available do to the procedure and that will be the case even if you delay or postpone you still do not have to consent to have it done. But then of course you might not have it when you will want it.

I've always had female nurses for smears (had one this morning, actually!) but a male doctor fitted my coil. He had a chaperone with him - which I didn't ask for. I assume it is standard at that clinic.

I had a male medical student attend when the female doctor fitted my coil. I was asked if I minded. I almost said yes, but then I thought how else does he get any experience if I say no?

PleaseDont. Ah. Okay. As it happens, I've not come across anyone who identifies as the opposite sex, either. And I dare say I'm not likely to, unless they are taking the piss.

I think that was generous of you Hillarious and so true.

Can it really? Would it be logged on the patient notes? I'd have thought you couldn't specify on a protected characteristic like race? But then sex and gender reassignment are protected characteristics too...

I couldn't care less if I tried! Men never mind women looking after them / catheterising etc!!

I would be happy for someone to correct me but I do not believe the reason is noted, not least because you do not have to give a reason. And if you do not have to give a reason, why would they refuse just because you're "not allowed" to give the reason you do?

Protected characteristics don't change that; they don't put a black mark against your name for "bigotry" and then refuse any further requests. So if you say "I don't want that doctor because he's black", even if that's an unacceptable reason you can still say "okay, I don't want that doctor for no reason at all" and that's still okay. Of course that's assuming people know about it to assert themselves and have no barriers to doing so.

I really am very happy to be corrected if I'm waaaay off the mark here but I'm sure I've read and been told this countless times. I do hope someone comes along who can clarify.

@pallisers

DFOD.

Does that actually mean something?

I usually request either a female, or 'Dr Ben' (who has an unpronounceable surname and is the gentlest and most attentive of listeners).

Definitely not the other male doctors at the practice, who are walking stereotypes straight out of Doctor in the House.

Throughout my teenage years, I went to the sort of good old family GP for who the medical phrase TUBE was coined, and I thought this was probably normal and just my teenage embarrassment that made me not want to go because I knew he would make me take my top off, whatever the problem was.

I would like to know too! Perhaps a medical professional could confirm?
I think you could say 'that HCP makes me uncomfortable and I want another' but I don't think you could say 'I don't want a black person or a trans person or a gay person treating me' and have that on your notes. But then a PP said they'd requested females only and that was recorded on their notes?

(It means 'do fuck off dear' pallisers ... Basic patronising response if someone disagrees with you on here)

oooh! ATail - does the Dr's surname start with 'I' by any chance?