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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you request a female doctor/nurse to do your smear test?

306 replies

catscan · 07/02/2018 20:14

Just that really.

OP posts:
Koala72 · 08/02/2018 20:03

I think it depends on what your previous experience in life is.

I had a bad experience when I was 22 with a male doctor and then again when I was 32 and after that I haven't felt nice with a male one doing stuff to me.

Koala72 · 08/02/2018 20:08

I find it hard to detach from a sexual experience and I feel violated by a guy doing that to me. I also feel uncomfortable with a woman doing it. Altogether I feel upset by it, but I know it has to be done.

Koala72 · 08/02/2018 20:09

It's mostly because of an experience with the 'BPAS'. ...

But nobody every wants to listen because apparently they are marvellous and abortion is cool.

NoqontroI · 08/02/2018 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

grannytomine · 08/02/2018 20:21

Koala72, I will listen. Worst experience I ever had and they were so patronizing.

grannytomine · 08/02/2018 20:22

Koala my experience with BPAS was with a woman, maybe they train all their staff specially.

linz0308 · 08/02/2018 20:53

Yes I would request it.

KNain · 08/02/2018 21:54

Not any more but I have in the past.

I was told to request a female doctor because of a medical issue which would make the smear test a bit more painful/difficult. I was told that because the female doctor had more experience in doing smear tests she was more likely to be able to deal with the issue effectively.

I have had male gynaecologists before though.

GlitterBurps · 08/02/2018 23:24

At my GP practice the nurses (female) always do smear tests. When I had an infection and needed another smear sample done, which due to long nurse waiting list I was offered one of the female drs I refused and asked for my normal male gp to do it as in my experience when pregnant the female gps had been patronising and very rough with examinations. The receptionist told me I couldn’t have my male gp as ‘it has to be done by a female’. I understand that for a variety of reasons some ladies may not be comfortable with a man but in my case I felt more reassured having the male dr who I had known my entire life.

GlitterBurps · 08/02/2018 23:29

I might add that I what made me uncomfortable was that as the male gp needed a chaperone, the nasty female receptionist was called in and basically stood at the ‘business end’ looking disgusted.

grannytomine · 09/02/2018 11:12

I don't think receptionists should be chaperones. There are a couple of receptionists at my surgery that I would object to. I know the doctor needs a chaperone but I would rather do without than have one of these women.

ExConstance · 09/02/2018 14:49

If someone is a healthcare professional I think sex/gender is irrelevant. A few years back I wanted Mirena coil. My male GP was the only one in the practice who had had the training and I wouldn't have dreamed of asking for anyone else. I have seen three consultant gynaecologists in my life, two female and one male, all equally kind and proficient (which is more than you can say of some of the female nurses who have attacked me with "the beak").

Evelynismycatsformerspyname · 09/02/2018 15:08

I briefly worked in a care home where a couple of male residents preferred male carers, and that was always catered for. Lots of the women preferred female carers, but some took a long time to work up the courage to say. It was also catered to. Sometimes we swapped among ourselves to allow for preferences as the floor leader often made up the morning lists without taking it into account, but there certainly were men who didn't want intimate care done by young women in particular - some were ok with mature female carers but unhappy with a younger woman coming in to wash them etc. I think it was an embarrassment/ dignity thing.

Absofrigginlootly · 09/02/2018 15:17

If someone is a healthcare professional I think sex/gender is irrelevant.

But it's not irrelevant to many many patients as Evelyn and myself (in my post above - speaking as a nurse) have outlined.

Privacy and dignity should always be at the forefront of all patient interactions and if it isn't then you're in the wrong job. Patient wishes should always be taken into account wherever possible (emergency situation are obviously different, but ime patients tend to mind less then too) and if one is not able to accommodate the request they should explain why (e.g. No one else trained available) and allow the patient to decide if they want to continue or defer treatment

FluffyWuffy100 · 09/02/2018 15:18

I don’t mind make it female. It’s a medical procedure not a first date.

BertrandRussell · 09/02/2018 15:22

Extraordinary how lacking in empathy some people are........

loveka · 09/02/2018 15:27

The 'best' smear tests I ever had were done by my male GP. It was totally painless and comfortable and not embarrassing.

Since I moved, 20 years ago, every one has been awful and I now need valium to even go. They have all been done by women.

Having said that, I would prefer a woman to do it. I am just saying a man doesn't necessarily mean it is more embarrassing. Unless there is a difficult past to contend with of course.

OlennasWimple · 09/02/2018 15:31

I always ask for a female nurse / doctor now, having had a very distressing experience with a male doctor on one occasion. If it's a toss up between not receiving care and being examined / treated by a male HCP, I choose not to receive care.

I have asked a male doctor to leave the room before, and TBF he did so without making a fuss at all (it was the remaining woman doctor who huffed and puffed about it). I''ve had trainee doctors in the room while I've had gynae treatment and although it's not exactly a laugh, I can deal with it as they have to learn somehow after all

StickThatInYourPipe · 09/02/2018 15:41

No, but it hadn't occured to me that there would be a possibility that they wouldn't be female

^^ this I’ve never asked but always had a female. I do t think I would want a man doing a smear test but wouldn’t care about a male midwife - weird!

Frazzled2207 · 09/02/2018 15:52

I've always had a female nurse do it.
Never occurred to me to ask for a female one because never come across a male practice nurse. I wouldn't be delighted to go along having not been warned it was a male that day.

That said I had a male obstetrician pull out my baby and he was perfectly professional so anything goes really.

whoaml · 09/02/2018 15:55

I was assaulted by my doctor as a teen.

It takes tranquillisers, a double appointment and much reassurance about consent for me to have a smear test. It has to be done by a woman I would refuse an exam by a male (and my physical reaction would probably make it impossible)

bananafish81 · 09/02/2018 16:00

No never

My fertility Dr is male, by my 4th IVF cycle I didn't even really bother with the drape for modesty, just starting dropping my trousers practically as soon as I walked in the door

The consultant at the colposcopy clinic who examined my cervix was also male

I've had nurses do my smears but would never have occurred to me to ask for a female HCP

I specifically chose our fertility Dr based on personal recommendation, knowing he was male

Sabistick · 09/02/2018 16:02

I wouldnt ask for one, but i expect the nurse to be female and would reject a man

Datun · 09/02/2018 16:18

I don't need to ask because they are female. If they weren't, I would ask for female.

I wouldn't want a man identifying as a woman to do it. For the reasons explained by previous posters.

And because autogynephilia is prevalent amongst TIMs.

Trinity66 · 09/02/2018 16:20

My GP does my smear test and she's female so i don't have to. I specifically chose a female GP though because I wouldn't feel as comfortable having smears or discussing womens medical issues with a man