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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be put off after first date?

35 replies

CarPullTunnel · 07/02/2018 15:32

Met at a restaurant. We'd booked a table so are asked to sit at the bar while table is prepared. This bloke then starts rummaging around in his pockets to see how many drinks he can afford. He then starts adding up loose change at the bar. So embarrassing.

As we were eating he said "well, what do you think?"

I said "it's nice, good food" so he said "not that! Me! What do you reckon?" He then presented himself with his arms. How the fuck are you meant to reply to that??

"Yeah you're amazing, good job!"
"You're a bit shit to be honest, I was hoping for better" ??!

OP posts:
SugarPlumFerry · 07/02/2018 15:34

Grin Well how DID you respond?

Blankuser1992 · 07/02/2018 15:34

He either has self esteem issues or money issues

Send him a text saying it’s not going to work out and if he gets real arsey etc at least you’ll
Know he isn’t your type etc

ChasedByBees · 07/02/2018 15:35

Bless him Grin

That is exactly the point of first dates though. I take it there won’t be a second!

ShatnersWig · 07/02/2018 15:35

You're allowed to feel however you wish about someone after a first date and use that to decide if you wish to see them again or not.

Based on your posting, I'd say not.

peachypetite · 07/02/2018 15:35

Meh. Just don't see him again, not a big deal.

sexnotgender · 07/02/2018 15:36

He sounds like quite the catch!

hibbledibble · 07/02/2018 15:36

Lol. Was that said tongue in cheek?

You are under no obligation to go in a second date.

MyKingdomForBrie · 07/02/2018 15:36

The money was a bit gauche but unless he’s tight it wouldn’t trouble me too much, but if you didn’t click in conversation then that’d be it for me really. Some people might find him funny or endearing, you didn’t. No ones fault.

Bananalanacake · 07/02/2018 15:37

So who paid for the meal if he was looking for change.

FiveLittlePigs · 07/02/2018 15:37

Think I might have "nipped to the loo" and kept walking at that stage!

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 07/02/2018 15:37

Oh crikey!

The counting change at the bar would put me off but then I suppose it shows he's very open about finances?! The need for affirmation was a bit unnecessary...couldn't he have just asked if you fancied a second date?!

What did you think of him? Would you like to see him again?

yupbeenthere · 07/02/2018 15:37

Yuk. That would put me off too. People generally try to make a good impression on a first date so that was probably him on his best behaviour. It's likely to be all downhill from there.

kissmethere · 07/02/2018 15:37

Did you say "ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies"
Doesn't sound great does he?

FreudianSlurp · 07/02/2018 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkHeart5914 · 07/02/2018 15:39

Honestly I know I will sound shallow saying this but the seeing how many drinks he could afford and adding up lose change, would of had me losing interest tbh.

Then asking me what I thought would of had me a bit Hmm i mean I think most people can tell if someone thinks that they are hot so no need to be all cringe and ask.

You also have the right to not see anybody you don’t want to again, that can be for any reason you like

hellsbellsmelons · 07/02/2018 15:40

I would say.
I reckon you might make someone happy one day.
Not sure that person is me as it's only date 1.

mindutopia · 07/02/2018 15:41

Oh, bless him. But yes, it's fine to be put off after the first date. Trust your gut. Doesn't sound like he's the one for you.

I once went on a date with a guy (many, many years ago now) who when I turned up at his flat to meet him as we were going to walk to the restaurant from there, he proceeded to explain to me that he was vegan (not the problem at all, I was vegetarian myself) and his diet consisted mostly of brown rice. He even showed me his hot plate and pot where he cooks his daily serving of brown rice. Okay. We went to dinner. He ate only pineapple fried rice. Then proceeded to announce when the bill came that he left his wallet at home and asked if I could pay for us both. I'm pretty sure he just used me to get one meal's worth of posh rice. Needless to say, we didn't have a 2nd date.

crackerjacket · 07/02/2018 15:42

Is he hot?

crackerjacket · 07/02/2018 15:42

Good username btw

MyKingdomForBrie · 07/02/2018 15:43

he just used me to get one meals worth of posh rice sorry but Grin

expatinscotland · 07/02/2018 15:47

'Then proceeded to announce when the bill came that he left his wallet at home and asked if I could pay for us both.'

He's lucky he was out with you. I had two guys try this. I paid for my food and left them there.

inmyshoos · 07/02/2018 15:52

Now having been on my first date in years recently I have learned not to be too put off at first. However there are definitely deal breakers. The one thing would have been a deal breaker for me personally.

Recently I went on a date, met for coffee, thought he was just ok but nice enough to meet again to get the whole dating thing up and running. 2 months on I like him much more than I thought I might.

Good luck op. There will be someone along soon who floats your boat Wink

UnimaginativeNameChange1 · 07/02/2018 15:52

Is he hot?

^ the crucial question right there. You don't fancy him for a boyfriend, but is he worth using for sex?

inmyshoos · 07/02/2018 15:53

money not one

Lovemusic33 · 07/02/2018 15:54

You should come on over to the dating thread, this is pretty standard for dating, these men are single for a reason Grin

I hope he paid the bill before you told him he was a twat?

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