HOBBY

[InspMorse]

DH's 'HOBBY', my HOBBY, DC's HOBBY...
AIBU to feel irrational rage when I read this? Just tell us what the activity is FGS.

It's not so much the "DH's hobby" as the "DH's hobby can't say what it is because it will out me " that pisses me off. You're not that famous love.

Quite often it does make a difference what the hobby is, some hobbies will take up more time than others or cutting back on how much you do impacts others for example.

It's not the word 'hobby' I object to, it's the 'doing it'...

as in 'DH is DOING HIS HOBBY'...

just sounds a bit mucky to me. Can't we say 'partaking in his hobby' instead? Add a bit of class?

Cycling or civil war re-enactment group. Only two options.

Insp - DH has been away for some days with his hobby in a certain remote overseas place and if I said what it was, he could be ID. There are some things best described as "hobby" and then say no more.

Just swop one 'activity' for another when you post. No need for hobby secrecy.

But surely that is exactly the same thing as hobby secrecy - it's just using a fictional hobby to hide the real hobby so how is that any different to just saying "hobby"

In cases where some kind of details matter, you can often substitute the hobby though.

If it’s cycling, you can probably substitute something else that involves hours away with fellow devotees, expensive equipment and silly outfits. Golf for example. But just say it’s cycling. People will sympathise.

If it’s building model planes, it can be something else that involves tinkering in a shed, buying tat, and going to events sporadically. Loads of things fit that general description.

If it’s crochet, you can just say so (or substitute knitting). In fact, most crafts can be described as knitting/crochet. That way your AIBU about the growing stash of materials or the proliferation of half finished projects or the unwanted homemade gifts etc will still make sense. You don’t have to specify that it’s some obscure craft that you and three other people like doing.

If, on the other hand, the details are so specific that you can’t explain without naming the super obscure activity, you’re probably on the wrong forum.

But surely that is exactly the same thing as hobby secrecy - it's just using a fictional hobby to hide the real hobby so how is that any different to just saying "hobby"

People swop things round on MN all the time for privacy - DD for DS, ages of DC, locations etc.

If a person is so concerned that their 'hobby' will out them, just swop it for something else. So that people like me dont spend time wondering what it is whilst reading the thread.

Insp - DH has been away for some days with his hobby in a certain remote overseas place and if I said what it was, he could be ID. There are some things best described as "hobby" and then say no more.

Substitute with high altitude mountaineering. Or deep sea diving.

Or just say, DH has been away for days on holiday with his friends. That may cover the issue well enough.

Crafting Room? I'd like one of those. The dining room is currently the place for painting orcs (DH) and jewellery making/writing/tarot reading/learning photo editing (me). I'm thinking of converting the garage into a utility room and then I could felting in there.

The only time I use the word 'hobby' is when I've just signed up for another workshop and complain that 'I have more hobbies than I can shake a stick at'. Though my main one at the moment appears to be trawling the local charity shops for specifically coloured jewellery I can take apart and upcycle reuse the nice bits.

Maybe triangulating other details in their post with morris dancing, detectoring, bat protection club, figure skating finals etc WOULD be outing?

Loved your post Unimaginative - I read the article substituting digging for 'actual hobby' and it was much funnier.

Bit worried now though about how.much work DHs allotment actually takes - he goes out to go digging most weekends 😱

It’s the ‘ooh, I’m being so mysterious about my special hobby’ aspect that’s particularly irritating.

You’ll get fewer people commenting on it being bobsledding or giant crab fishing than people speculating on the supposedly mysterious and all too identifying ‘hobby’.

You could probably change some of the details to protect the innocent, as we all should be doing online.

Except when it’s cycling. Then people should just admit it’s about as identifying as telling people you can drive. Or that you often take the children to the park at the weekend.

@UnimaginativeUsername

OMG you have CHILDREN?! You must be Barbara from 86 Witherton Lane in Aylesbury.

Unimaginative - yes you're right. Sometimes though, it's easier to say DH has had an accident while doing his hobby, rather than "DH is stranded up K2 and awaiting rescue and I'm really p**d off because this is the third time this year..." If you make up a different mountain, people might think he's someone else if there was coincidentally a current accident on that mountain as well! Then you could get into all sorts of problems. (By the way, DH is not up any mountains atm).

How did you work it out?

Sometimes though, it's easier to say DH has had an accident while doing his hobby, rather than "DH is stranded up K2 and awaiting rescue and I'm really pd off because this is the third time this year..."

I think 'accident whilst climbing' would do!
'Accident whilst doing his hobby' could be anything....

There was a thread similar to this a while back, one of the first replies was "It's dogging."

For some reason, this association has stuck with me. Every time i see a thread where the OP is moaning about their DH's "hobby", I immediately think that the DH is out dogging and rage builds inside me that the OP puts up with this behaviour, until I realise that this (probably) isn't whats they are actually doing.

My hobby is pretty obscure, and would definitely be outing combined with other posts if I hadn't just NC.

It involves the use of (among other things) cat litter, vaseline, chopsticks and wire cutters

Agree. And the it is usually important what the hobby is as to if the DH is being unreasonable.

@lookingforthedroids oooooh your hobby sounds intriguing!

If your husband is ever stranded up K2 for the third time this year, feel free to tell us he’s had an accident deep sea diving and is stranded in the middle of whichever ocean you fancy. Or that his equipment has malfunctioned on his giant crab fishing expedition in the Bering sea and he’s waiting to be rescued. Or something else. We won’t mind the duplicity.

I’d assume you’d only be posting on MN so we can all join you in being pissed off at him anyway, rather than looking for specific help. There are probably better routes to specific help for people with loved ones stranded up K2 than MN.

TheLastMermaid

Maybe triangulating other details in their post with morris dancing

Someone I work with revealed at a meeting a few months ago that he does morris dancing. Everyone very politely withheld comment. I'm not sure how many were thinking of Sir Arnold Bax's immortal quotation that "one should try everything once, with the possible exceptions of incest and morris dancing."

My hobby is pretty obscure, and would definitely be outing combined with other posts if I hadn't just NC.
It involves the use of (among other things) cat litter, vaseline, chopsticks and wire cutters

I have just googled all of the above and my computer says your hobby is 'caring for hummingbirds' ... Interesting!

My hobby is pretty obscure, and would definitely be outing combined with other posts if I hadn't just NC.It involves the use of (among other things) cat litter, vaseline, chopsticks and wire cutters

I have just googled all of the above and my computer says your hobby is 'caring for hummingbirds' ... Interesting! grin