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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask at what age you'd leave a baby with grandparents?

52 replies

IsItSummerYet2018 · 05/02/2018 21:29

So with my DS I left him with my dad overnight for 2 nights @ approx 7 weeks. As we'd bookedband paid for a break away before being pregnant and it wasn't far away. I can't remember how I felt.

Anyway due a baby in a month and about 5 weeks after birth dp wants to go see a band. My dad is insistant on having the baby overnight.. As wouldn't be fair to pick up at 11pm..
None would ever force anything or be pushy so it's down to me and how I'd feel, I know the baby would be in the best hands etc etc. But something in my head is saying noooooo.

I don't know why though..

OP posts:

Chaosofcalm · 05/02/2018 21:32

I have never left my DD overnight. The important thing is how you feel. And if your baby is not even here yet and you don’t think you will be ready to leave them then when they are here I dont think you will suddenly change your mind

Blackteadrinker77 · 05/02/2018 21:33

We are very close as a family and have done this many times.

Other people aren't ready for it, there is no right or wrong.

You'll know if you are ready.

You can text hourly for reassurance like my daughter did when I first had DGD

Winegumaddict · 05/02/2018 21:35

I don't think there's a right answer it's whenever you're comfortable. I can't remember when I first left my two not until they were about 1 but o my because they were breastfed and bottle refusers so I had no choice really. I did leave them for evenings before that and then stayed over with them.

NancyJoan · 05/02/2018 21:35

Can’t your Dad come to yours and Babysit there?

falsepriest · 05/02/2018 21:37

Mid-50s up.

falsepriest · 05/02/2018 21:37

Oh, hang on, you mean the baby.

Julie8008 · 05/02/2018 21:39

Your parents have raised kids before they are more than capable of looking after any age of children. Its just down to person preference.

MaryPoppinsStoleMyHandbag · 05/02/2018 21:40

For a few hours when DD was 3 weeks old. At 19 months I haven’t left her with anyone overnight yet. Don’t think there is any right or wrong - it’s whatever you feel comfo with.

ineedwine99 · 05/02/2018 21:41

Not left mine overnight yet and she’s 18m old, when we go out as soon as i’m home i like to go hold her hand and i love going to get her when she wakes in the morning

Spartaca · 05/02/2018 21:42

About 2 yrs here, we went to a funeral when my then youngest was 2 and older child nearly 4. That was their first night without us. They have had the odd sleepover with my parents since.

fabulous01 · 05/02/2018 21:46

Mine are nearly 3 and I wouldn’t. But that is a personal decision based on a number of factors.
But you have to do what is right for you but I certainly wouldn’t appreciate anyone telling me what to do with my own child. That would be enough for me to not allow it

pimlicolife · 05/02/2018 21:46

I'd guess at about 2 years old. I haven't left my 6 month old with anyone yet.

NewYearNewMe18 · 05/02/2018 21:46

Ten days after a C/Section. We had football club dinner dance to attend.

IamMoana · 05/02/2018 21:49

Not left mine overnight, she's 3. Agree it really is personal preference. I'd go with my gut feeling.

QueenofmyPrinces · 05/02/2018 21:56

My son was about 2.5 years old when he had his first overnight stay which was with my dad.

As everyone else has said, it’s just personal preference regarding what you are or aren’t comfortable with doing.

NoClassWithNoDoodle · 05/02/2018 21:57

Up to about 74

Unicorndiscoball · 05/02/2018 21:59

11 months overnight and about 8 weeks for a couple of hours in the evening (twice a week for rehearsals that I was running) certainly got him into a routine quickly-he timed it so he woke at 10.30 for a feed just as I stepped through the door!

Abracadabraapileofbollocks · 05/02/2018 22:02

In all probability your child would be fine.
However, Trust your feelings. It's time to channel your inner Ben / Luke moment. If you go to an event but feel very anxious then that would be awful (for you).
If you go you might find actually you're too tired / ache.
However, you might enjoy it, get a break from the changed circumstances of your life.
There would be no reason to feel guilty. There could be other emotions that might colour your experience. Only you can call it.

Tinkerbec · 05/02/2018 22:03

4 weeks , we went to oh work do at the races.

Everyone went out on the town afterwards. We went back to the hotel and just slept.

I totally trust my parents.

BackforGood · 05/02/2018 22:13

There's no 'right' age. You would have to see how you feel. Can he not get tickets, and, if you are not ready, then take a friend instead? (You say it is dp wants to go rather than suggesting you are particularly desperate).
As others have suggested, if it is the 'overnight' rather than the 'going out for the evening', then can Grandfather not stay at yours ? Or one of you take him home when you get there ? That said, at 5 weekd, I've not met a baby who realises night time is sleeping time, so I'm not sure why you couldn't transport them then. Or, yet another suggestion, you could sleep at Grandfather's after the concert ?
Loads of options.

Original poster

IsItSummerYet2018 · 05/02/2018 22:31

Thank you.
Dad can't come here as have a young sibling who he has at weekend.. Big age gap between us.

We don't need tickets for the event so it's not a loss or anything. It was more a general wondering. As like I say my DS. I did but this time its different. Not sure if it's because took so long to ttc. Struggled with feeling attached at first then bam it hit me. And now even tho baby not here I don't want to leave it... Its weird.
Yeah definitely will decide nearer the time.. Prob on the day.

OP posts:

Original poster

IsItSummerYet2018 · 05/02/2018 22:34

I like the band too. It's more of a suggestion as the next few times dp would be working.
But it's a good. Idea about staying at my dad's that night after.
Re collecting baby after, think that's more in my head of oh no it will be too late. But I suppose its only a 5 min drive so that could work...
Thank you so much for replying

OP posts:

Pinkprincess1978 · 05/02/2018 22:42

It's whatever is right for you. Personally we didn't leave my son for more than a few hours until he was over 7 months and even then we stopped the night at the in laws too (we went to a wedding during the day/eve then went back to their house to sleep where DS was).

But if you felt ok at 7 weeks it's not massively different at 5 weeks

user1473337123 · 05/02/2018 22:43

My parents used to have my twins every Tuesday overnight from when they were 3 weeks old just so that I could get one nights sleep a week!! But go with whatever makes you comfortable

Jessicabrassica · 05/02/2018 22:48

I'd happily leave dcs with grandparents as soon as they'll have them. They're 6 & 8.

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